It’s An Emergency! But It Can Wait. JERK, MEDICAL OFFICE, NURSES, USA | HEALTHY | SEPTEMBER 7, 2020

Not Good For Your Blood Pressure
PHARMACY | RIGHT | AUGUST 31, 2014
(The pharmacy that I work at has a very standard closing time of 7:00 pm. We’ve had this for years, much longer than I’ve worked there. If a customer comes in around 6:58 or so they usually purchase their items quickly and leave. This customer comes in at 6:59.)

Customer: “Whoo! Made it in the knick of time!”

Me: “You certainly did! You picking up a prescription today?”

Customer: “Yes, it’s [Name].”

(The transaction goes smoothly and he heads for the door. It’s 7:01 pm and he turns and goes to the blood pressure machine which usually takes a couple minutes to finish the measurement. My boss tells me to turn the lights off because we’re technically closed.)

Customer: “Hey! Can you turn the lights back on? I can’t see my reading!”

Me: “The display is LED; you don’t need the lights on, sir.”

Those Who Can’t Be The Easter Bunny, Teach
PHARMACY | RELATED | AUGUST 13, 2014
(I am checking out a woman and her young daughter while I overhear their conversation.)

Daughter: “Mom, can I be a teacher when I grow up?”

Mother: “You can be whatever you want when you grow up sweetie.”

Daughter: “Can I be the Easter Bunny?”

Mother: “No… you can’t be the Easter Bunny.”

A Spoonful Of Violence Helps The Medicine Go Down
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JULY 15, 2014
(I am on quite a few prescription medicines, one of which costs $170. I am picking up four refills.)

Pharmacy Clerk: “This one is $1.17. The second is $7.79. And the third is…”

(He trails off and takes a few steps back from the counter separating us.)

Pharmacy Clerk: “Uh… do you know how much this costs?”

Me: “If it’s the [Brand Name Medicine], then it will be about $170.”

(He looks relieved and returns to the register.)

Pharmacy Clerk: “Sorry. On my first week on the job, a customer assaulted me after hearing the price of his medicine.”

You Are Eavesdropping On I
PHARMACY | RELATED | JULY 11, 2014
(I’m out with my parents, running some errands. During one stop, my dad picks up a prescription while my mom and I wait in the car, since it’ll be quick. She cracks the windows, though, since it’s warm. Two women exit the store.)

Woman #1 : “Now, this is just between you and I…”

(She continues talking unaware as Mom sighs dramatically.)

Mom: “People misuse ‘I’ and ‘me’ so often. It’s so annoying!”

Me: “So is eavesdropping…”

Looking For A Needle In A Haystack Of Stupid
PHARMACY | WORKING | MAY 25, 2014
(I’m in the pharmacy picking up my prescription for insulin.)

Pharmacy Tech: “We are currently out of the insulin pens, so we’ve substituted a bottle of insulin that you can use until we get the pens back in stock in a few days.”

Me: “That’s fine, but I don’t have any syringes at home any more so I’ll need to buy some.”

Pharmacy Tech: “You’ll need to get a doctor to send us a prescription for the syringes.”

Me: “So, you are saying you don’t have the insulin pens. So you are giving me a bottle of insulin, but you won’t give me the syringes to use them?”

Pharmacy Tech: “We can’t give you syringes without a doctor’s prescription.”

Me: “Can I please talk to the pharmacist?”

Pharmacy Tech: “She’s very busy right now, and she’s going to tell you the same thing.”

Me: “I will wait.”

(The pharmacy tech huffs, and I go sit down in the waiting area. About 10 minutes later, after I’ve seen the pharmacist give several consultations, I walk up to the consultation window.)

Pharmacist: *very pleasantly* “Hi. Do you need a consultation?”

Me: “Actually, the lady at the register said that you were substituting a bottle of insulin instead of the pens because you are out.”

Pharmacist: “Oh, you need to know how to use the syringes?”

Me: “No, I know how to do that, but I don’t have any syringes.”

Pharmacist: “Oh, no problem. We’ll give you some since we are out of the pens.”

Me: “The lady at the register is refusing to give them to me without a prescription.”

(The pharmacist looks towards the registers and glares.)

Pharmacist: “She’s been doing that all day. I don’t know why I have to keep explaining it to her. At least she goes home in half an hour.”

(The pharmacist rang me up and I was on my way with syringes. I never saw the pharmacy tech there again.)

On A Stool’s Errand
PHARMACY | WORKING | MAY 22, 2014
(I am working in a public health clinic pharmacy. A worker from another department walks in the door and drops a baggie on the counter.)

Worker: “Hi. Here’s the stool sample you wanted.”

Me: *attempting to hide my intense feelings of alarm* “Um, this is the pharmacy. I think you want the lab. It’s across the hall.”

Worker: *snatches bag off counter* “Okay.”

(The woman left. I immediately began frantically sanitizing the counter.)

Not As Easy As ABC, 123
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MAY 5, 2014
Patient: “I’m picking up some meds. My name is [Name].”

Me: “I have three prescriptions here for you today. Is that correct?”

Patient: “I think so. Can you show them to me?”

Me: “Sure”

(I pull out three bottles from the bag and show all three to the patient.)

Patient: “Okay, where’s the third one?”

Me: “I just showed you all three. What are you talking about?”

(I hold each one up and count as I go along. I get to three and he still looks confused.)

Patient: “I thought you said I had three… I don’t see the third one!”

Me: “I just showed you three bottles! What are you talking about?! Do you know how to count?!”

Patient: “Oh… okay. I’ll take your word for it but I still don’t think there’s three here”

Not A Hire Level Of Professionalism
BAD BEHAVIOR, GERMANY, JOB SEEKERS, PHARMACY | WORKING | MAY 2, 2014
(I get a call on the first of April, one day after a job interview.)

Caller: “HEY! HEY! Guess what!”

Me: “Who is this?”

Caller: “It’s [Name] from [Company] from yesterday! You’re hired! All the other applicants were total f****** idiots! That’s why we want you!”

Me: “Uhm, thanks? That’s—”

Caller: “You know what I did? Do you want to hear it?”

Me: “What did you do?”

Caller: “I called all the other applicants and told them they’re hired! And when they got all excited I screamed ‘April Fools!’ Haha, I would have loved to see their faces. The first guy told me he’d sue me! Isn’t that funny?”

Me: “So… is this a joke? Or am I hired?”

Caller: “You’re actually hired. As I said, all the others were total f****** idiots! Welcome to [Company]!”

(I’m not sure if I’m going to take this job…)

Likes To Party Hard
PHARMACY, RETAIL | RIGHT | MAY 1, 2014
(I am the cashier at a convenience store that also has a pharmacy on the back. It is a slow day and my pharmacy coworker asks me to watch his station for a minute. A mustached, gallon-hat wearing cowboy (boots and all) comes up to me and asks in a very deep voice

Cowboy: “Do you carry generic Viagra?”

Me: *stunned* “I’m sorry. If you could just wait for a minute?”

(Thankfully my coworker heard him and took over. I went back to my station and then the same customer appeared. His purchases? Generic Viagra, a tequila bottle, and a 25-pack of lollipops…)

Please Keep Customer Interaction To A Condominimum, Part 2
PHARMACY | RIGHT | APRIL 29, 2014
(It is a Friday late afternoon. I am mechanically ringing up sales adding “have a nice weekend” to my normal “here’s your receipt” spiel. I realized after saying this to a male customer that he is buying several high-quantity boxes of condoms. I also remember he had a work shirt on with his name sewn on it. I stepped into the pharmacy and talk to my coworkers.)

Me: “Oh, my God!”

Coworker: “What is it?”

Me: “I just told a customer to have a good weekend, before noticing he was buying nothing but condoms! He obviously has plans to do so!”

(About thirty minutes later the phone rings, and the pharmacist picks it up.)

Coworker: “[My Name], you have a phone call.”

(I answer.)

Caller: “Hi, I’m [Customer With Named Shirt]. I’m calling because I want to go out with you this weekend!”

(Um, that would be ‘NO,’ creepy condom dude!)

Seeing Eye Dog
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MARCH 19, 2014
(I am serving on the counter of a small pharmacy on a busy Saturday. A middle aged lady approaches my desk.)

Customer: “Hi. Can I get something for infected eyes, please?”

Me: “Of course. When did the problems with your eyes begin?”

Customer: “Oh, it’s not for me. It’s for my dog. His eyes looked really sore this morning!”

Me: *slightly alarmed* “We don’t sell medicines for pets here, unfortunately. You would have to go a vet to get something for your dog.”

Customer: “No, it’s fine. I give him human medicines all the time!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t sell you anything for your dog. I’m not allowed to do that, and what’s more, I wouldn’t want to cause him any harm.”

Customer: “But… his eyes are the same size as human eyes!”

Your Ears Must Deceive You
PHARMACY | WORKING | JANUARY 25, 2014
(It’s eight in the morning on a Saturday, at a very small shop that’s located by a big shopping centre. There’s literally nobody in the car park or in the shops of this place. The only people in the area are the pharmacist and the cashier.)

Me: “Could I get my ears pierced, please?”

Pharmacist: “Sorry. We’re too busy on weekends to pierce ears.”

(There’s a moment of awkward silence as I look around the empty, silent shop.)

Me: “You’re too busy?”

Pharmacist: “Yes. We only pierce ears on weekdays because weekends are too busy.”

(I’m lost for words for a moment, as I stand alone in the customer area where not even all the aisles have their lighting on.)

Me: “Could you make an exception?”

Pharmacist: “What if ten people with prescriptions were to suddenly arrive? Then what would we do? There’s only two of us behind the counter.”

(I end up leaving pretty soon after without getting anything, as the pharmacist continued to insist that ten people with prescriptions would materialise from the empty car-park.)

A Gross Grocery Error
EDITORS' CHOICE, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, NEW JERSEY, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | JANUARY 2, 2014
(The customer in front of me is dropping off a prescription. She’s on her phone.)

Customer: “…and then can you pick up [Child] from school, or do you want me— Hang on, I’m at the front of the line.” *to pharmacist* “Here’s my prescription, ID, insurance data. Need anything else?”

Pharmacist: “Just give me a minute to read through this.”

Customer: *on phone* “So, anyway, about the groceries. Why is taking—”

Pharmacist: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Oh, hang on.” *to pharmacist* “Sorry, I know it’s rude to talk on the phone, but—”

Pharmacist: “No, no. Your prescription. It says ‘cheese, yogurt, chunky peanut butter.'”

(There is a pause.)

Customer: *on phone* “I think I know why it’s taking you so long at the grocery store.”

Doesn’t Have A Glue
PHARMACY | RIGHT | DECEMBER 29, 2013
(We have bottles of hand sanitizer at the pick-up and drop off counters for customers to use if they please.)

Me: “Hi. Can I help you?”

Customer: “WHAT DID I JUST PUT ON MY HANDS?”

Me: “Er, what?”

Customer: *waving hands frantically* “What’s in that bottle? It’s not glue is it? My hands aren’t going to stick to my cart when I touch it?”

Me: “No, ma’am. It’s just hand sanitizer.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Thanks! Have a good day!”

(The customer leaves without getting anything from the dispensary.)

Me: *to coworker* “Why the h*** would we have glue in squirt bottles?”

Can’t Pin Him Down To A Number, Part 2
PHARMACY | RIGHT | DECEMBER 10, 2013
(It’s Friday afternoon, and I am a customer waiting for my prescriptions in the waiting area of my pharmacy. The customer ahead of me, a gruff older man, is getting upset with the cashier over a problem with the card reader.)

Customer: “I’m telling you, it’s not my card. It’s your machine!”

Cashier: “Sir, you have to enter your PIN correctly—”

Customer: “I KNOW how to enter my PIN! Your machines are wrong! This doesn’t happen to me anywhere else.”

Cashier: “I don’t know what to tell you, sir. My machine has been functioning properly all day. Your transaction failed after you entered your PIN. Would you like to try it again?”

Customer: “If I try it again, you better MAKE it work right! [Financial Institution] is going to freeze my card if I keep trying. I’m going away for the weekend so I NEED my card to work!”

Cashier: “Well, I can’t put in your PIN for you, sir. So I can’t guarantee you it will work.”

Customer: “This has happened the last two times I’ve been in here! I’ve been a customer here for 30 years and you’re saying it’s MY fault? Your machines are wrong! And now my card is going to be frozen until Monday!”

Cashier: “I don’t know what else to tell you, sir. Let me get my manager.”

(The cashier pages the manager, who arrives promptly.)

Manager: “I understand there’s some trouble with your card, sir?”

Customer: “The machine is messing up. It’s NOT my PIN. My card is going to be frozen and I’m going away this weekend!”

Manager: “I understand, sir. If you have time to wait, I’ll call [Financial Institution, which is also responsible for card reader] and try to find out what’s going on.”

(My manager dials the phone and explains the situation to tech support.)

Manager: *on phone* “Uh-huh. I see.”

Customer: “Ask them if my card is frozen!”

Manager: *on phone* “So there’s no problem with our system? Alright. Thank you.”

Customer: “Oh, wait. My PIN on this card is five digits. I only entered four!”

Intelligence Is Not The Flavor Of The Month
PHARMACY | WORKING | DECEMBER 3, 2013
(In the UK, you get your prescriptions for free if you’re age 16, 17, or 18, and in full-time education, which I am. Your age in years and months is written on your collection form. Mine reads 16 years and 9 months.)

Me: “Hello. I need to pick up a prescription. Could you show me what I need to sign?”

Pharmacist: *glances at the form* “Are you working?”

Me: “No.”

Pharmacist: “Are you in full-time education?”

Me: “Yes.”

Pharmacist: “Are any of these applicable?”

(The pharmacist points to war veterans benefits and low income benefits, as well as two others that definitely don’t apply.)

Me: “Uh. No.”

Pharmacist: “Well, I’m afraid you’re going to have to pay for this medicine. It’ll be £7.88.”

Me: “What? It’s always been free in the past! I haven’t got any money on me.”

Pharmacist: “It’s £7.88, I’m afraid. If you want, I can hold it for you and you can pick it up later when you’ve got some money. We close at 5:45.”

Me: “Alright, I guess I could do that. I’ve never had to pay before. Are you sure that’s right?”

Pharmacist: “Have you? You should’ve been charged. Anyway, you have to pay now.”

(I leave, knowing I won’t be able to return home and back in time. I call my dad and ask him to collect it for me. He does so and gets it to me when he gets home from work.)

Dad: “Want to know why they wouldn’t give it to you?”

Me: “Why?”

Dad: “The other pharmacist was serving me. She read over your prescription and asked the woman who’d served you why she’d charged you, as your prescription form clearly said you’re 16. She looked mortified. Turns out, she’d misread the ‘9’ in your 9 months as ’19’!”

(Good to know these are the people handling our medicine!)

A Bitter Pill To Swallow
PHARMACY | WORKING | NOVEMBER 23, 2013
Me: “Hi, I’m here to pick up my prescription.”

Pharmacist: “What’s the name?”

Me: “[Name], that’s [N-A-M-E].”

Pharmacist: “[N-A-M-E]?”

Me: “Yes.”

Pharmacist: “We don’t have a prescription under that name.”

Me: “Could you look again? It should have been sent over from [School] this morning.”

Pharmacist: *without checking* “We don’t have it.”

Me: “Could you check your computers to see if you got the order?”

Pharmacist: *checks computer* “Oh! Yeah, we got the order. [Medicine] has been backordered for weeks, so no one has it.”

Me: “I see. So, you just didn’t fill the order?”

Pharmacist: “Yeah. We couldn’t.”

Me: “And you didn’t call the number in my file or my doctor to let them know the medication wasn’t available?”

Pharmacist: “We can’t just call EVERY person who orders this! That would take forever!”

Me: “So it’s better that EVERY person who needed that medication should come all the way down here just to hear that their prescription can’t be filled?”

Pharmacist: “Yeah.”

Me: *furious*

Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 5
PHARMACY | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 19, 2013
(I’m a pharmacist, and one day at work, a young woman comes up to the counter to pick up a script. I notice she is wearing one of those insertable birth control rings around her wrist.)

Me: “Ma’am, you know that’s not how those work, right?”

Customer: “Huh?”

Me: “Your birth control ring. Those are meant to be worn… you know… internally.”

Customer: “Oh, shoot, really? I… I didn’t know that. Excuse me.”

(She walks away and returns with a pregnancy test, clearly worried and very embarrassed.)

Customer: “I guess I’ll be needing this, too.”

The Pharmacist Calls The Shots
PHARMACY | WORKING | NOVEMBER 7, 2013
(I have numerous health problems, and have to take 10 different prescription medications. Because of the risk of drug interactions, I don’t take as much as a vitamin without running it past a pharmacist. I’m in the pharmacy to buy an over-the-counter drug allergy tablet.)

Me: “Before I get that, I’d like to speak to the pharmacist please.”

Assistant: “The pharmacist is very busy. What’s the problem?”

Me: “I take several prescription drugs. I’d like to make sure this tablet’s not going to cause a bad interaction.”

Assistant: *rolling eyes* “I shouldn’t think it would.”

Me: “I would like to speak to the pharmacist, please.”

Assistant: “The pharmacist is very busy. I’m sure I can answer your questions.”

Me: “I’m concerned about drug interactions and I WOULD LIKE TO SPEAK TO THE PHARMACIST, PLEASE.”

Assistant: “Well, it’s just Lipitor or something, isn’t it? That’s no problem.”

(Instead of answering, I place on the counter the bag I carry my meds in; I bring it to new pharmacies so there’s no possibility of mistaken dosages or anything forgotten. I open the bag and begin to take out my various medications, including the injectible, and the ones plastered with warning labels. The assistant’s eyes get bigger with each new box.)

Assistant: “…I’ll just go get the pharmacist.”

Me: “You do that.”

Drive Flu
PHARMACY | RIGHT | OCTOBER 30, 2013
(I work at a pharmacy that has a drive-thru. We do flu shots and they are in high demand. We have never administered a flu shot at the drive-thru. A customer drives up to the window in her mini-van.)

Me “Good afternoon! What can I help you with today?”

Customer: “I would like to get the flu shot. Can you hurry because I have things to do.”

Me: “I’m very sorry, but you will have to come inside for us to administer the shot. It won’t take more than five minutes.”

Customer: “No! I don’t want to get out of my car. I’m in a hurry; I’m the customer and you have to do what I say, so you have to do it from here!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but it’s against the rules to do it at the drive-thru. I don’t think it would be very sanitary and I wouldn’t even be able to reach you from this window. You will need to come in. I promise it won’t take long.”

(The customer puts her car into gear, so I figure she is coming inside so I close the window and walk away. As I walk away I hear a blaring car horn so I go back to the window.)

Customer: “You have no right to deny me the shot! Are you trying to kill me? What if I get the flu and die? It would be your fault and you will go to jail for MURDER!”

Me: “I’m not denying you the shot, ma’am. Like I said you will have to come inside; it’s the rules. Please move so I can help the other customers.”

Customer: “NO, B****! I WANT THE SHOT RIGHT NOW AND I’M NOT COMING INSIDE! I’M NOT MOVING MY CAR UNTIL YOU HELP ME! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU ARE WASTING MY TIME! I HAVE THINGS TO DO! I AM THE CUSTOMER AND YOU HAVE TO HELP ME! GIVE IT TO ME NOW YOU LAZY B****!”

Me: “No, you need to come inside. We can not administer a shot at a drive-thru window. We have never done it that way. If you come inside I will be able to help you and it will only take minutes. Please move your car so I can help other customers.”

Customer: “NO! I’M NOT MOVING AND YOU BETTER NOT HELP ANYONE ELSE! I WAS HERE FIRST AND I DEMAND YOU GIVE ME THE SHOT FROM HERE! IF YOU DON’T GIVE ME THE SHOT I’M GOING TO HAVE YOU FIRED AND I WILL MAKE SURE YOU NEVER GET ANOTHER JOB IN THIS CITY!”

Me: “For the last time, NO! If you don’t move your car, I’m going to call the police.”

(I start helping the other customers. The customer continues to yell, flips me off and hits the gas. That’s when I hear a loud crash. I look to see that she had put her car in reverse by accident and slammed into the car behind her!)