Is intermittent fasting right for you?

Lay Off The Scooby Snacks!
Liars/Scammers, Non-Dialogue, Pharmacy, USA | Working | July 22, 2021
I had a lady pick up [painkiller] for a dog. It was a pretty early refill and I was bored, so I went to our manager, and it turns out the dog had been filling this prescription all over town.

I just thought I’d try and broaden the search, so I just did the owner’s name and date of birth and found multiple other dog names all filling [painkiller]. I called the office and it turns out the vet this dog owner was using had just stepped down to be with her family and was not practicing. The owner used to work there but had been fired for calling in fake scripts. The office said they would take care of the issue.

The part that still makes me laugh about this whole sad situation was that the first dog’s name was Scrappy, and one of my techs chimed in, “I would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for you meddling kids!”

Sometimes You Have To Go Off-Script
Australia, Current Events, Health & Body, Patients, Pharmacy, Retail | Healthy | July 20, 2021
I work in a pharmacy, so you can imagine that we get more than our fair share of sick, coughing people. Unfortunately, that also means that we get more than our fair share of people who insist they cannot wear a mask. While corporate has refused to allow us to use curbside service, my management HAS been very good at backing us up and insisting we can refuse service to people that don’t comply.

Customer: “Hi, I just need this script filled.”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, can you please put on your mask?”

Customer: “No, I have a medical exemption.”

Me: “I’m afraid that I am going to have to insist.”

Customer: “I cannot wear a mask.”

Me: “Ma’am, we will refuse service to anyone who isn’t wearing a mask. Many of our customers are high-risk.”

At this, she lifts her script to press it flat against the plastic of the barrier between us.

Customer: “The sooner you give me these, the sooner I can leave and start taking them so that I can wear a mask. But I need this script first.”

I am about to keep arguing, but then I realise what the medication on the script is. It’s a strong prescription painkiller, used for nerve disease and shingles and its complications.

I then look at the woman’s face again, and I realise the redness on her cheeks and jaw are not embarrassment or just a ruddy complexion but inflammation.

Me: “Sorry, ma’am. I’ll… get right on that.”

Could she have been clearer? Given the particular painkiller, probably not.

They Have A Membership Card To The Entitlement Club
At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Current Events, Pharmacy, Texas, USA | Right | July 17, 2021
It is late, my husband and I are picking up some prescriptions at the only twenty-four-hour pharmacy in our area, and we decide to get some much-needed OTC meds for the household. As it’s so late, there is only one cashier. We stand the appropriate six feet back, both in masks per state ordinance. There is a gentleman ahead of us at the register who is taking an exceptionally long time because his total is “unsatisfactory”. I should note he is NOT wearing a mask and is getting uncomfortably close to the cashier.

Customer: “Okay, go through the items again and tell me every price.”

Cashier: “All right.”

The cashier begins reading the list, for what is probably about the third time.

Customer: “No! No! Your signs say those things are cheaper!”

Cashier: “Like I told you before, sir, those prices are with our store card, which I can sign you up for. It’s free.”

Customer: “Absolutely not! Go through it again and give me the correct price!”

At this point, he is leaning over the register and is basically inches from her face. Since the cigarette shelves are right behind her, she cannot step that far back. Finally, I walk forward with my store card.

Me: “Here, scan mine. I have kids at home and want to get out of here.”

Cashier: *Obviously relieved* “Thank you.”

Customer: “Hold on, I need to grab a few more things, then!”

We all groan, but whatever will hurry him up. He comes back, adds about ten more things to be scanned, and then steps back. The cashier stares at him, as do my husband and I. After a few minutes, he snaps his fingers and glares at me.

Customer: “Well?! What are you waiting for!”

Me: “Huh?”

Cashier: “Sir?”

Customer: “She scanned her card. Hurry and finish this so I can leave!”

Cashier: “Sir, it’s totalled out. Now you just have to pay. Did you need something else price- checked, or…?”

Customer: “But she scanned her card!”

Me: “And…?”

Customer: “Then scan it again or something, but hurry up!”

Me: “I’m not sure I follow.”

Customer: “Hurry and pay so I can leave; you scanned your card already once!”

I suddenly realize he thinks I offered to pay for his items.

Me: “Dude, I just scanned the discount card. I’m not paying for your stuff!”

Customer: “Well, why else would I get the rest of the stuff I needed?! Oh, my God, f*** this! F****** poor people!”

He shoved his items over the counter at the cashier and stormed out. We all just stood there in shock. Not only did he think I was offering to pay, but he actually added MORE stuff. I guess late nights always bring out the weirdest people.

You Need To Be A Customer To Get Customer Service
Editors' Choice, Impossible Demands, Jerk, Pharmacy, USA | Right | June 29, 2021
The night has wound down to the end of our business day half an hour after we lock the doors. The other employees and I are doing our last-minute tasks. I’m vacuuming the carpet in front of the door, and I hear the door rattle loudly and look up in surprise. There is a woman outside, gesturing at me.

I turn off the vacuum cleaner so we can talk. She sounds like she can’t believe she has to say this out loud.

Customer: “Um, hello! Hi there! Your door is locked.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. I know. We closed at 10:00 pm.”

She gets a surprised look on her face. I give her my best apologetic look and point to our hours, which are posted on the door. She looks down as if the sign magically appeared. I can actually watch her face transition from confused to a growing rage.

Customer: “I can’t believe it! This is horrible customer service!”

She actually flips the bird at me. My niceness is gone now that she has crossed the line.

Me: “Customer service stops at closing, lady.”

She made an inarticulate screeching noise and stormed off. My coworker and the closing manager thought my last line was hysterical, so I didn’t get in trouble.

Anchors Aweigh… And Aweigh, And Aweigh…
Dentist, Florida, Health & Body, Hospital, Ignoring & Inattentive, Military, Non-Dialogue, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | June 26, 2021
I was a new sailor, getting ready to report to my first ship. My wife and I had driven all the way across the country to the base where my ship was home-ported, so we were totally unfamiliar with the area. We got a hotel room while we looked for apartments, but the next day I got really sick. Two of my teeth on my upper jaw hurt so much I couldn’t sleep, so we grabbed my medical and dental records — this was a long time ago, when sailors hand-carried their records between assignments — and managed to find our way to the local Navy hospital. I checked into the dental office, and they got me in very quickly because I was obviously in a lot of pain.

The dentist, a Navy Lieutenant, poked and prodded a bit, had an x-ray taken, and then told me there was nothing wrong with my teeth. She said I probably had a raging sinus infection and had one of the nurses take me to the emergency room on the ground floor.

An hour or so later, I was diagnosed with a sinus infection, given a paper prescription, and sent to the on-site pharmacy. I grabbed a number and waited, still dazed by the constant pain in my face from the infection. My wife had to tell me when they called my number, and she escorted me to the pharmacy window. The pharmacy tech rattled off a bunch of stuff about the medicines I wasn’t coherent enough to follow, but I did make out that I needed to start taking them right away.

Fine. No problem. We sat back down and I read the labels. The largest bottle said I had to take four pills right away. I staggered to the water fountain in the lobby and swallowed one of everything, plus four of the pills from the big bottle. I walked back to where my wife was sitting, and she started putting the bottles of pills in her purse, giving each bottle a quick look to see if any needed to be refrigerated. Then, she paused and said, “Oh, f***!”

She dragged me up to the prescription drop-off window and hollered for help. An older man came to see what was wrong, and my wife showed him the large bottle and my ID card. The pharmacy tech turned white as a sheet and said, “Oh, f***!”, and then called for a gurney and a doctor.

The next couple of hours were a blur of activity I don’t remember much about, ending with me admitted overnight for observation. It seems the pharmacy tech who’d handed me my pills had also grabbed a bottle intended for another patient — the large bottle. I had taken a quadruple dose of a major blood-pressure medication and my blood pressure was dangerously low by the time the ER managed to get me hooked up to an EKG.

Even in military medicine, almost killing the patients is generally contraindicated. I recovered fine, but there was a major investigation at the hospital, and the pharmacy tech who handed me the wrong pills ended up demoted or transferred someplace unpleasant — perhaps both. The pharmacy at that hospital changed their standard operating procedures to require careful verification of the name on every label and to cross-check every prescription issued with the patient’s medical record.

That’s how the US Navy nearly got me killed before I set foot aboard my first ship.

You’ll Back Off One Way Or Another, Part 2
Current Events, England, Health & Body, Instant Karma, Jerk, Pharmacy, Revolting, Strangers, UK | Right | June 23, 2021
I’m not feeling great and I go to my local large pharmacy. I’m masked up and keeping my distance; unfortunately, this woman isn’t. She looks like she is wandering around aimlessly, but she keeps getting in front of me, indecisively picking up everything or right behind me, impatiently reaching across me.

As I said, I’m not feeling great, and the constant rudeness is getting more and more on my nerves. She ignores all my requests for distance and I eventually cuss her out, so she stays away.

Feeling no better, I get all my medicine, food, and drinks and stand in line to pay. It’s not long before the woman joins the line behind me, no surprise standing way too close.

Me: “You need to back off. Give me some space.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Move back and stay back.”

Customer: “Or what?”

I’m not proud of this, but as she spat out the sentence, the pain in my stomach doubled. Without much control, my gaseous medical calamity revealed itself, silently but oh, so noxiously.

The thing about a man in his thirties who has a protein-rich diet with a particular interest in real ale is that this would be a particularly bad event on its own, even if I wasn’t also feeling so unwell.

The woman being so close felt its full force and coughed herself away and out of the shop.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t bear to look the cashier in the eye and had to leave my purchases. Luckily, I managed to get most of what I needed from another store.

I thankfully got better very quickly. As embarrassing as it was, I couldn’t lie, it was a really effective way to deal with these idiots.

Related:
You’ll Back Off One Way Or Another

Not Very Closed-Minded, Part 46
Impossible Demands, Pharmacy, Stupid, USA | Right | June 21, 2021
We close at 8:00 pm on weekdays. On this particular day, we aren’t completely finished cleaning, so we close our gate and keep cleaning. A man comes up to our closed gate.

Customer: “Hello!” *Knocks on the gate* “Hello, I need help!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, we have just closed, but the front store is still open. They can help you.”

Customer: “No, they aren’t a pharmacist. I need a pharmacist.”

Me: “You can come back tomorrow morning; we closed at eight.”

Customer: “But you are still here. Why won’t you help me?”

Me: “Sir, first of all, my gate is closed so I can’t even see you, just as you can’t see me. Second of all, I’m off the clock. You can come back tomorrow when we open at nine.”

The guy walks off in a huff and I hear another customer, probably a friend of his:

Customer’s Friend: “Why are they closed?”

Customer: “I don’t know, ugh!”

You’ve Got To Be Kidneying Me
Dentist, Ignoring & Inattentive, Medication, Nurses, Stupid, USA | Healthy | March 3, 2022
I donated a kidney a while back. For the most part, this isn’t much of a problem; the only side effect of the donation, other than not being allowed to do some obscure medical test with radioactive dyes that I’ll likely never need, is that I should avoid NSAIDs like aspirin.

A few years back, I went to a new dentist due to dental pain and they told me I would need a tooth removed. They didn’t have me fill out anything about my medical history before I went in for the dental surgery, so I made sure to briefly mention that I’d donated a kidney to my dentist just so he was aware of it.

After the surgery was over, I was sent to talk to a nurse about post-care and given a prescription for pain relief. I didn’t recognize the medication name, but to be safe:

Me: *To the nurse* “I’ve donated a kidney, so I cannot take NSAIDs. Is this prescription safe for me?”

Nurse: “Yes, it is.”

However, while I was going to pick up my medication, I read through the paperwork they handed me. There was a note saying that it wasn’t safe to take a certain medication if you had kidney problems. The medication mentioned on the paperwork was different than the one I was prescribed, but just the fact that the paperwork called out potential risk concerned me. I figured I should be safe since I’d made sure everyone knew the risk and had been assured it was fine, but I was uncertain enough that I decided to double-check.

Lo and behold, even a quick Google search was enough to learn that the medication I was prescribed was listed as a generic version of the medication the paperwork said I shouldn’t take, and a quick check on [Health Website] explicitly said that this medication was not safe if you had kidney problems.

I called the dentist back explaining the problem, but they never returned my call, leaving me to suffer through the pain with nothing more than Tylenol. I opted not to go back to that dentist for the follow-up surgery to get a replacement tooth installed; I have a general rule of never allowing medical organizations more than one attempt at destroying any of my organs.

About a year and a half later, I got a letter from the dentist saying they were going out of business and I should contact them now if I needed to get any of my medical records. I can’t say I considered their being out of business much of a loss.

Jumping Into This Relationship With Both Feet… Sort Of
Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Farm, Funny, Health & Body, Patients, USA | Healthy | February 28, 2022
I grew up on a farm. In a freak accident when I was about thirteen, I ended up losing most of my left foot. By the time I reach twenty-five, I have gotten used to the amputation; I could still walk, even though I had a slight limp, and with shoes or boots on, it’s impossible for other people to see that half of my foot is missing. That said, I’ve always been a bit self-conscious about it, so I don’t take my shoes off around other people or tell the story very often.

Sometime around my twenty-fifth birthday, I meet a woman and we start dating. A few weeks later, I take her home to meet my family, and while helping out with the farm chores, another freak accident happens and the tip of my right middle finger gets cut off. My family and my girlfriend take me to the hospital, and when we get home, she admits that she was panicking.

Girlfriend: “Oh, my God, that was crazy. I know farming can be dangerous, but I’ve never actually seen anything like that. Are you sure you’re okay?”

Me: “Yeah, I’ll be okay. It hurts, but the meds help.”

Girlfriend: “How can you be so calm about this? I’m completely freaked out and I’m not even the one who lost a finger.”

Me: *Joking* “Well, I’ve done worse, so a finger isn’t too bad.”

Brother: “Yeah, [My Name] is getting kind of used to things going missing by now.”

Girlfriend: “What do you mean?”

Brother: “His foot, and now his finger.”

Girlfriend: “Your foot? What does that mean?”

Brother: “You never told her about your foot, [My Name]?”

Me: “You’ve seen me barefoot, haven’t you?”

Girlfriend: “Apparently not? I mean, I know you limp, but I always thought that was just how you walk.”

Me: “All right, then. Do you want me to tell you the story first and then show you my foot, or show you my foot first and then tell the story?”

She decided to hear the story first, so I told her and then showed her my feet. She ended up taking the whole thing really well, and we’re still together a year later, so I think she’s the one.

We’re So Exhausted On Your Behalf
Bad Behavior, Current Events, Health & Body, Hospital, Non-Dialogue, Security | Healthy | February 25, 2022
The lack of support from security at my hospital is insane. We have limited visitation due to rising health crisis cases.

Once, a whole family showed up when a patient was really only allowed one person. On top of it, they refused to follow the masking rules. How they got by screening, I’ll never know. Even if they wore masks downstairs, there’s no way a whole group should’ve been let up.

And when staff confronted them on the floor, they threatened to get violent with the nurses. When security finally showed up, they talked to the family for maybe ten minutes and didn’t even escort them out, saying, “They promised to leave in five minutes.” What a joke.

My favorite is [health crisis]-positive patients refusing to stay in their rooms and threatening to walk the halls to give everyone their illness, coughing in your face if you argue with them.

Then, there was an old man refusing to pull up his mask when asked, saying, “Honey, I would if I could,” rolling his eyes, and walking away. Surely, it’s more uncomfortable and inconvenient to wear it improperly?

I have more stories than I could possibly recount.

Make Things Easier On Yourselves, Folks!
Australia, Ignoring & Inattentive, Medical Office, New South Wales, Patients, Stupid | Healthy | February 25, 2022
I work in a pathology collection centre where we collect blood and other delightful bodily fluids and emissions. Sometimes the doctor requests that a patient fast in preparation for their blood test for a variety of reasons, and company procedure has certain requirements for the patient to be “correctly” fasting. For example, the patient must fast for more than X hours but not more than X hours, and they can only have water and nothing else. As always, I don’t make the rules; I only enforce them.

This elderly patient presents late in the afternoon with his referral from his general practitioner, and he wants to have the blood test collected. I inquire about whether he had fasted and he hasn’t, so I explain to him that he has to fast, for how long, the consequences of not doing it “correctly”, etc. He isn’t happy but seems to accept that it has to be that way as that’s what the doctor wants.

He seems to have a little trouble understanding me, so I explain it to him a few times, write it down in bullet-point format, and give him the little handouts we have with slightly more detailed patient instructions, as well. He leaves, and I’m satisfied that he understands as I’ve explained it about five times. All in all, I’ve worked with him for about fifteen to twenty minutes.

The patient comes in the next morning around mid-morning and I ask him what time he last had anything to eat or drink other than water. The answer he gives me means that he has exceeded the maximum fasting time.

Me: “You’ve gone too long now and your results could be affected. Are you sure you want to go ahead? I wrote this all down for you. Didn’t you look at what I wrote?”

Patient #1 : “No, I didn’t bother. Just do it.”

Me: *Facepalm*

In addition to this exchange, we often have this conversation with our fasting patients.

Me: “What time last night did you have something to eat or drink other than water?”

Patient #2 : “Oh, yes, last night.”

Me: “What time?”

Patient #2 : “Dinner time.”

Me: “What time was dinner?”

Patient #2 : “Oh, around six.”

Me: “Do you think you could give me the time to the closest half hour?”

The patient rolls their eyes, exasperated.

Patient #2 : “No, I didn’t look at the clock! Just make it six o’clock!”

Me: “You haven’t had anything since then?”

Patient #2 : “Oh, I had dessert at about ten o’clock.”

Or:

Patient #2 : “I just had a cup of tea/coffee this morning.”

Another fun one:

Patient #3 : “I’m usually difficult to get blood from.”

Me: “Oh, okay. Have you had much water today?”

Patient #3 : “No, I don’t drink water.”

I have to admit though, my favourite response to the last one was, “No, I don’t drink water because fish f*** in it!”

Stick a fork in me, folks, because I am so done.

At Least SOMEONE Is Looking Out For This Dog
Bigotry, Cincinnati, Jerk, Ohio, Pets & Animals, USA, Vet | Healthy | February 22, 2022
I am a veterinarian. On the day before Thanksgiving, I have an owner bring their older dog in for a mass on her foot that grew very quickly over the past few days and seemed very irritating as the dog was licking at it. Off the bat, this makes me think of something like a local infection and/or trauma. I recommend taking a small sample of it with a needle to view under a microscope, either in-clinic or by sending it out to a lab, for more information. It starts to go downhill here, as the owner informs me that he is a human physician, and he appears to have some opinions on what should be done instead. I don’t think it helps that I am a young recently graduated female veterinarian, and this owner is an older male physician.

Me: “Taking this sample can tell us whether there is an infection or if there is truly something more concerning like a growth or cancer.”

Owner: “I don’t think I want to do all that. She is an older dog, and I just want it removed, whatever it is.”

Me: “While that is a fair goal, surgery may not be the best solution to this. Even if it is cancer, that area can be hard to remove large masses from because there is so little tissue on the limbs.”

He starts to go into medical jargon about healing, and we go back and forth a few times. I support different owners with their goals and their right to make decisions for their pets so long as they are informed, but I don’t think jumping to surgical removal of this mass is in the dog’s best interest. He eventually concedes to us taking a sample, which I do, and I get a pus-like material that makes me even more suspicious of infection. When I go to explain this:

Owner: “Well, if it is an abscess, you can just take her in the back and drain it with a scalpel blade!”

This is also something I would not want to do immediately, especially in animals who do not sit still like humans and without appropriate pain control. Since our in-clinic materials for evaluating the sample were not working, I told him that I would send the sample out to a lab and that we would hear back with results in about three to five business days, possibly longer with a holiday tomorrow.

I sent the dog home with anti-inflammatories for comfort and a cone to keep her from traumatizing the area in the meantime. The owner was so fixated on having the mass “just removed” that on the way out, he scheduled a surgery for two weeks from then. The whole appointment left me exhausted, but the icing on the cake really came over the next two weeks.

I got the results back about three business days later — six calendar days — and called the only number we had on file for this owner. No one answered, so I left a message explaining that the results were consistent with an infection, that no cancer was seen, and that I was sending them an electronic prescription for an antibiotic. I also told them to call back and let us know how [Patient] was doing.

We heard nothing back about this dog until the next week when the owners got an automatic reminder for surgery drop-off the next day. The owner’s WIFE called us, upset, and asked why her dog had a surgery scheduled. When we reviewed the appointment and explained that it had been scheduled by her husband, the wife got irritated and told us to cancel it, because — shocker — the antibiotic got rid of the mass. She also snipped about how it took a week to get the results back.

In summary, he told me how to do my job (incorrectly), didn’t communicate to his spouse about the dog, didn’t update us about how the dog was doing or respond to a phone call, and complained about getting results back within the estimated timeframe during a holiday week. Well, at least the dog is better.

The Human Body Is A Shocking Wonder
Health & Body, Ignoring & Inattentive, School, Students, USA | Healthy | February 19, 2022
WARNING: INJURY

This happened many moons ago, when I was in seventh grade.

The bell rings signifying the end of lunch. In my haste to get back to my classroom, I end up trying to jump over a bench instead of going around it, falling sideways, and having all of my ninety-six pounds land directly on my left wrist. I pop up and head for class, making it in with about one second to spare before I’d be marked late. I happen to be sitting in the front row.

The teacher spends the next minute writing things on the blackboard, and we all start taking notes. When he turns around, he sees me.

Teacher: “[My Name], leave immediately and go see the nurse.”

Me: “Why? I’m fine.”

Teacher: “Do it right now.”

Me: “If you say so.”

I put my stuff back in my backpack, mutter something under my breath, and reluctantly head for the nurse’s office. Yeah, my left wrist is hurting a bit, but I just fell on it. It’s probably sprained or something. I take my watch off it and transfer it to my right wrist, figuring that’ll help.

When I arrive…

Nurse: “Sit down and don’t move. I’m calling your parents. They’ll take you to the hospital.”

Me: “What the h***? I don’t need a hospital!”

Nurse: “Yes, you do! Look at your wrist!”

I took a look. The bone was almost poking through the skin.

The doctor said the break looked like it had been cut with a laser. Thankfully, the

The Fluffiest Fraud
Australia, Fraud, Impossible Demands, Insurance, Liars/Scammers, Vet | Healthy | February 16, 2022
I work as a vet. Our computer system is set up so that we can submit our clients’ insurance claims for their visits directly to their insurer — just a few clicks to submit the notes and the invoice, minimal hassle for everyone. We don’t have any way of knowing whether or not the claim gets accepted or rejected unless the client lets us know.

Client: “The claim for Fluffy’s [condition] got rejected.”

Me: “Ah, that’s a bugger. We had discussed that it might not get through because it would probably be considered pre-existing, but at least we gave it a go and know for the future.”

Client: “Yeah, sure, but what did you write in the submission claim? Like, the wording?”

Me: “I just submitted my clinical record. There aren’t any notes we write in addition to that.”

Client: “But what did you say Fluffy had?”

Me: “[Condition]. Which is what he has.”

Client: “Do you think you could resubmit it but write that he has [similar condition, which has similar symptoms but is treated differently]?”

Me: “Uh, no.”

Client: “Why not? It’s easy; just change a couple of words and it’s all good. Then it might get approved.

Me: “[Client], I will explain this very clearly to you. The clinic system locks the records after a certain time frame because they are classed as legal documents. Any changes to said documents after the fact would be grounds for me to face disciplinary action from my professional regulator. And very simply, what you are asking me to do is commit insurance fraud.”

Client: “Are you sure about that?”

Me: “Uh, yes, definitely fraud.”

Client: “So, you can’t do anything to get around it?”

Me: “No. I like my job. I’m not risking my licence.”

Client: “So, there’s really nothing you can do about this, then.”

Me: “[Client], stop asking. The answer is no. If you still don’t like it, you’re welcome to see one of my colleagues, but they will tell you the same thing, and your insurer already has the info anyway.”

Client: “…”

He wasn’t a client of ours for much longer. I can’t say he’ll be missed. Good luck and apologies to the next clinic who ended up with him.

Thanks For The Double Dose Of Guilt
Employees, Jerk, Medication, Pharmacy, Sweden | Healthy | February 13, 2022
I take a very expensive medicine. Luckily, since I live in Sweden, I don’t even pay for one month’s full use myself until I start getting it for free. The trick with this medicine is that it needs to be refrigerated, so I cannot order it home and I always need to plan my shopping when getting it since I cannot have it in my bag for too long.

I have just gotten new instructions from my doctor saying I can take out for two months instead of one, since she doesn’t think I should need to go to the pharmacy too often in the health crisis. Unluckily, the power goes that night, and I don’t know for how long, so I call medical services to find out what I should do with the medicine. Since there is a risk that it will be ruined, they tell me to take it back to the pharmacy to get new ones. Since I need a dose for that day, I go to do so, and I have to put other plans aside for the day in order to fix this.

Me: “Hi. I’m so sorry, but the power went and they said to exchange this in case it has gone bad.”

The pharmacist takes the medication and looks at it, then me, then to her computer, and then me again.

Pharmacist: “Do you know how expensive this is?”

Me: “Yes. As I said, the power went off, so the medicine might have been compromised.”

Pharmacist: “This is for two months!”

Me: “Yes, I know. I took it out yesterday — worst luck!”

She frowns and looks at her computer for a while.

Pharmacist: “Well, we don’t have any here, but you can find it at [Other Pharmacy].”

Me: “All right, should I just leave this here and go there, then?”

Pharmacist: “No, you need to bring this with you, or you can’t take out new medication again. Also, next time, perhaps you should only take out for one month; that way you won’t ruin as much of it.”

I did as she said and went a few blocks over to another pharmacy, only to have almost exactly the same conversation. I did get to make the exchange this time. I was so embarrassed and felt guilty about the whole thing, yet it was not even my fault, so thinking back, I wonder why they needed to keep rubbing it in?

I Just Learned Something New
Bizarre, Health & Body, Idaho, Medical Office, Nurses, Patients, USA | Healthy | February 10, 2022
My cat passes away, and in the stress of dealing with his illness, I do forget to wear a mask outside a couple of times. The following days after his death, I suddenly get very sick, and naturally, all I can think of is that I caught something when I forgot to wear a mask. I have almost entirely lost my voice. So, I decide to get tested.

The nurse looks down my throat.

Nurse: “Yeah, you look a bit torn up in there from coughing. Let’s get the tests started.”

She swabs for a couple of different things, and while we are waiting for the results, she says:

Nurse: “Also, your tonsils looked kind of inflamed and oddly shaped…”

Me: *Croaking* “My what?!”

Nurse: “Tonsils, in the back of your throat?”

Me: *Coughing* “I had a tonsillectomy seven years ago!”

Nurse: *Pauses* “That would explain the odd shape they’re in. Well, you’re negative for [contagious illness], strep, and flu, so it’s probably tonsillitis.”

It turns out that, much like if you have part of your liver cut off, your tonsils can grow back, too. I’m the first person I know to

Making Your Eyes As Big As Dishes
Health & Body, Optometrist/Optician, Patients, Stupid, Sweden | Healthy | February 7, 2022
I finally graduated as a licensed optician this year, and seeing as I have a love for storytelling, of course, I take every chance I get to ask my new coworkers about the weirdest or dumbest customers/patients they’ve encountered. So far, this story I heard from one of the sales assistants absolutely takes the cake, although I do have a close runner-up, as well.

A woman comes in, complaining over something regarding her contact lenses. My coworker asks some general troubleshooting questions: how often do you change your contacts, do you sleep with them, are you cleaning them properly? That last question is where it all goes south.

Patient: “Of course, I clean them, but that cleaner you sold me doesn’t work very well, so I just use dish soap, instead.”

Coworker: *Pauses* “You use what now?”

Patient: “Yeah, dish soap and water. See, the cleaner doesn’t get the contacts clear enough; I still see all blurry when I put them back in. The dish soap makes them much cleaner.”

Coworker: *Absolutely dumbfounded* “You can’t… do that. Your eyes could get really badly damaged from that. Please don’t. You need to use the cleaner that your optician recommended for you.”

Patient: “Well, I still think the dish soap works better.”

Lady, how have you, for your entire life, missed the glaring labels on every single dish soap ever telling you NOT to let it come in contact with your eyes?

Congratulations On The (Frustrating, Long-Awaited) All-Clear!
Doctor/Physician, Insurance, Money, Non-Dialogue, Oklahoma, Oklahoma City, Stupid, USA | Healthy | February 4, 2022
Some years ago, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I went through all the treatment, surgeries, chemo, you name it. A couple of years later, at the three-month follow-up, my oncologist, upon consultation, didn’t like that he could feel some lumps under my arm, so he put in a request for a PET scan.

A PET scan is an imaging test where you are given a slightly radioactive glucose IV shot, wait an hour, and then go through a machine. Cancer being sugar-avid, if there is any tumor, it will light up on the screen.

My insurance denied the request because I didn’t have a CT scan done that would warrant the need for a PET scan; PET scans are more expensive than CT scans.

The oncologist then put in a request for a CT scan.

The insurance denied it because I didn’t have an MRI scan done that would warrant the need for a CT scan, CT scans being more expensive than MRI scans.

Then, my oncologist put in a request for an MRI scan.

The insurance promptly denied that because I didn’t have an XRay done that would warrant the need for an MRI scan.

And this is how I ended up having an XRay, an MRI scan, a CT scan, and a PET scan because insurance wanted to save the money for the PET scan. I got subjected to way more radiation than necessary for them to pay five times the cost they wanted to save.

It was negative. Years later, I am still cancer-free.

Don’t Sprain Yourself Trying To Be Helpful
Florida, High School, Jerk, Nurses, USA | Healthy | February 1, 2022
I am about fifteen and in high school, and cell phones aren’t really a thing yet. Yesterday, I sprained my ankle. It’s very painful and swollen, but an x-ray shows no breaks. I have a chemistry test, but it’s second period, so I figure I can limp around until then. My mom tells me to go to the office when I finish the test and call her, and she’ll come get me. She says she’ll call if she doesn’t hear from me by a certain time. I finish my test, which takes longer than I thought, and my teacher dismisses me to the office. I hobble in. The nurse is at the front desk.

Nurse: “Did you hurt yourself?”

Me: “I sprained my ankle yesterday. I came in to take my chem test, but I need to go home. It really hurts. Can I call my mom?”

Nurse: “Oh, a Tylenol will fix you right up. I’ve got some in my office. What’s your name?”

Me: “[My Full Name]. My mom said I could call her after the test and she’d come get me.”

Nurse: “No, no. All you need is Tylenol. Can’t have you missing class.”

Me: “Look, it’s really swollen and it hurts and—”

Nurse: “I know what you’re trying to do. You’re not going to skip.”

Me: “What?! I’m not skipping! It really hurts! I need to ice it!”

The phone rings.

Nurse: “Don’t even think about leaving. Sit down.”

I sit and pop my foot up on a chair. The nurse answers the phone.

Nurse: “[School].” *Pauses* “You need to pick your daughter up early?” *Pauses* “Sure, what’s your name?” *Pauses* “And her name?” *Pauses* “Oh.”

She glares daggers at me.

Nurse: “She’s in the office now.” *Pauses* “Due to the number of students skipping, we had to be sure before we called.” *Pauses* “Yes, she says she’s in pain.” *Pauses* “Yes, she says it’s swollen.” *Pauses* “Uh-huh.” *Pauses* “Okay.” *Pauses* “You’ll need to come in with ID.” *Pauses* “Thank you.”

She hangs up.

Nurse: “Don’t move. Your mom is on her way.”

Less than ten minutes later, my mom comes running in. My ankle has ballooned up at this point. There are now other office staff around. She waves her ID at the nurse and signs me out. Then, she helps me out of the chair and I hang on to her for balance.

Mom: *Loudly* “Don’t accuse a kid of trying to skip when she’s very clearly hurting. All you had to do was look at her foot to see she wasn’t faking.”

Nurse: “I’m sorry—”

Mom: “Nope. We are leaving.”

She took me home, where I iced and elevated my foot for the rest of the day. I didn’t see that nurse again!

I Hereby Diagnose Your Cat With Cat
Bizarre, Doctor/Physician, Massachusetts, USA, Vet | Healthy | January 29, 2022
A number of years ago, my husband and I took our beloved cat to the vet for hot spots that had been causing her a great deal of grief. The vet advertised himself as holistic, which we saw as an advantage at the time.

Once we were in the examination room, he asked:

Vet: “Can one of you place one hand on [Cat]’s back while extending the other arm out straight?”

He then proceeded to hold up vials of unknown contents near our lovely cat’s body. With each one, he pushed on the outstretched arm, using his perceived resistance as an indicator of our poor cat’s sensitivity to its contents.

Sadly, my former husband wasn’t up to the task. He excused himself and went outside to stand by our car. From my vantage point near the window, I could still see him, bent double, laughing until he cried, while I was trapped inside, forced to freeze my face while the vet tested vial after vial.

The result? A $375 bill and a diagnosis of “sensitivity to strange smells,” which, if I’m not mistaken, covers all cats, ever.