It’s An Emergency! But It Can Wait. JERK, MEDICAL OFFICE, NURSES, USA | HEALTHY | SEPTEMBER 7, 2020

Unfiltered Story #189642
MONTANA, PHARMACY, USA | UNFILTERED | MARCH 15, 2020
(An older man comes up to the register at the pharmacy with six boxes of diabetic testing strips. The strips are specifically for monitoring blood glucose levels, not urine. The man knows this because I overheard the pharmacist explicitly tell him that.)

Ringing him up:
Me: Will this be all for you today?
Customer: I put my water on these. (Pointing to the test strips.)
Me: Sorry. What?
Customer: My water. I put these in my water.
Me: (Really hoping this isn’t the urine question again) Your tap water, sir?
Customer: No *my* water. You know, like making water.
Me: I’m sorry, sir, did you have more questions for the pharmacist on the proper use of these items?
Customer: No. Do you know what I mean? My water.
Me: (Realizing this is a hopeless situation, and wanting to move him along) Sir, your total is $xx.xx.
Customer: But do you know what I mean? You know, your water, my water. Do you know what ‘making water’ means?
Me: Sir, your total is $xx.xx. The pharmacist will be more than happy to discuss the proper use of these items after we have finished this transaction.
Customer: Did I embarrass you? I didn’t mean to embarrass you. But do you know that I mean by ‘my water’?
Me: Sir, the pharmacist will be here momentarily to answer your questions. Your total is $xx.xx, please.
(He finally paid for the test strips and then stood at the counter, ostensibly to repack his shopping bag, while staring at the tech and I. The pharmacist asked if he had any more questions, to which he didn’t respond, but he finally did leave.)

Mondays And Medicine And Babies, Oh My
BIZARRE, GEORGIA, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | MARCH 13, 2020
(After delivering medicine and receiving payment by a customer, I’m ready to leave so I can go home.)

Me: “All right, Ms. [Customer], have a great evening.”

Customer: “All right, I’ll probably be calling you on Mon… Oh, wait, y’all are closed Monday.”

Me: “No, ma’am, we’re open on Monday, same hours as usual.”

Customer: “Oh, right, tomorrow is Saturday; that’s what I meant.”

Me: “No, ma’am, we’re open tomorrow, as well. We are open every day except Sunday.”

Customer: “My stomach has been hurting. I’m gonna take some of the medicine now.”

(The medicine in question is a cream for itching/discomfort on the skin.)

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “You know, I don’t have any kids, so I can buy myself anything I want.”

Me: “Oh, well, that sounds really nice.”

Customer: “I used to live in New York, you see.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: “I had to go to the movies to see how a baby came out.”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “I’ve never been married, so I had to go to the movies to see how a baby came out.”

Me: “Oh, really?”

Customer: “Okay.”

Me: “Okay, Ms. [Customer], have a nice evening.”

Being A Pill About The Pills
CALIFORNIA, PATIENTS, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | MARCH 12, 2020
(I work in a community pharmacy. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard this story in some variation, as have my staff and coworkers in this field.)

Patient: *comes up to the counter* “Hi, I need to fill my medication.”

Clerk: “Oh, of course. Which medication did you need today?”

Patient: “I don’t know; it’s on my profile.”

(The clerk reviews the patient’s profile, which has more than 25 prescriptions dating back years.)

Clerk: “Do you know which one? There’s a bit of a list on your profile.”

(At this point, they will usually say one of two things

Patient: “I don’t know. Just fill all of them.”

(Or…)

Patient: “It’s the white pill.”

(This is where the clerk will grab one of the pharmacists.)

Pharmacist: “I’m sorry, sir, but we can’t just fill everything on your profile, as we don’t know which of these medications you take or have stopped taking.”

(Also, the staff hate having to fill a dozen or more prescriptions, only for the patient to say they need one or two of them; the rest we have to put back, wasting all the time and effort we needed to fill.)

Pharmacist: “Do you know what you take it for? Diabetes? Blood pressure?”

Patient: “I don’t know. It’s the white pill.”

Pharmacist: “Most of the pills on your profile are white. Do you know how many times you take it? Was it big or small? The first letter of the name or the doctor who wrote it?”

Patient: “How am I supposed to know?! You’re the pharmacist! You should know this! IT’S A WHITE PILL! I KNOW IT’S ON THE COMPUTER!”

Pharmacist: “Sir, I need a little more information to go on than just the color. Here’s our card; you can go home, find it, and then call it in. Or bring the bottle with you next time and we can help you more.”

(The patient stomped off. Seriously, if you come to the pharmacy, please know something about what you want to pick up. The vast majority of all the pills on the shelf are white. Bring the bottle, take a picture of the bottle, write down the name. Something!)

Unfiltered Story #189057
PHARMACY, TEXAS, USA | UNFILTERED | MARCH 11, 2020
(I work at a pharmacy. A few feet back from the pick-up counter, there is a yellow line on the floor, marked with large letters instructing customers to wait behind this line until called. There are also large signs on each side of the line with the same instructions. This line exists so that customers picking up medications or receiving consultations at the counter will have some privacy from the customers waiting in line. Often, people will ignore the yellow line and come up to the counter, and depending on what is happening at the counter, we may have to ask them to step back. I don’t like doing that, because while some customers don’t have a problem with it, some do, and you never know what will set someone off.)
(I am consulting a customer at the counter. Another customer approaches, stops behind the yellow line, and waits to be called. While he is waiting, a third customer barges up, passes the waiting customer, and stands right next to the customer I am consulting. I mentally brace myself and quickly try to think up the politest way I can tell the impatient customer to step back, when the waiting customer speaks up)
Waiting Customer: “Oh, that’s fine, sir, you can go ahead of me.”
(The impatient customer turns around to see the waiting customer giving him both a smile and a glare at the same time)
Impatient Customer: “What? You weren’t in line. If you were in line you should have moved up!”
Waiting Customer: “You’re right, sir, what was I thinking? I’ll move up as far as I’m supposed to.”
(The waiting customer very deliberately looks down at the yellow line, then back up to the impatient customer and maintains eye contact. He raises up his foot dramatically, and takes a tiny step forward so his toes are on the line. The impatient customer reads the line and the signs, blushes, and moves back behind the waiting customer.)
Impatient Customer: “Oh, fine, you go first.”
Waiting Customer: “Oh, thank you sir, that’s very kind of you.

Cashback, Self-Attack
AT THE CHECKOUT, EMPLOYEES, JERK, MASSACHUSETTS, NON-DIALOGUE, PHARMACY, USA | WORKING | MARCH 4, 2020
I am picking up a small item at a well-known pharmacy chain and I use a self-checkout machine with a sign that says, “No cash, card only.” That’s fine because I don’t have any cash on me anyway; however, it is late, and in a moment of auto-pilot, I press the “cashback” button.

“Is this amount correct?” the machine asks me, and I press the “no” button, but somehow it is too late and the machine has already processed my payment. One staff member comes over and gives me a huge eye roll and has to find a manager to fix it.

The manager comes over and has to unlock the machine and manually take out the cash box to give me the cash. “I’m sorry,” I say, and offer to take a refund on the cashback but she says that’s not possible and makes a big show of how annoyed she is opening the machine. She says to me, “It’s a really big sign.”

Listen, I work in customer service, too. I’m sure these staff members deal with people who make this mistake all day and I’m certain that it is super annoying, but I’m human, okay? Save your snide comments for rude people instead of shaming the apologetic ones.

One Catty Pharmacist
CALIFORNIA, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, JERK, NON-DIALOGUE, PETS & ANIMALS, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | MARCH 2, 2020
I work as a veterinary assistant at a cat clinic and know basic information about feline pharmacology. My friend’s cat takes 5 mg of a medication every day to control stress-mediated urinary crystals. His prescription is for 45 of the 10 mg tablets, with directions to give half a tablet each day.

My friend went to pick up the cat’s prescription from a large corporate pharmacy after work and did not think to check the prescription until she got home. What the pharmacy gave her was 90 of the 10 mg capsules, which cannot be cut in half, with instructions to give one capsule each day, which would be a double dose. The margin for error in many cat medications is pretty small, and a double dose could well cause serious harm. They also charged her about three times what that particular drug should cost from that pharmacy.

My friend called the pharmacy to complain and was put on with the pharmacy manager, who angrily insisted she had called the vet, the vet had changed the prescription, and the pharmacy had filled it according to the vet’s instructions. My friend knew this was nonsense but couldn’t prove it at that time because the vet clinic had closed for the evening.

The next day, my friend called the vet, whose receptionists confirmed that the prescription hadn’t changed and the pharmacy had never called them. My friend went back to the pharmacy after work with the information from the vet clinic, and they refunded her money and filled the correct prescription so fast she didn’t even get to ask for a manager. Another friend and I are encouraging her to make a formal complaint with corporate, as the mistake of instructing a patient to take a double dose could get the patient killed if the drug was, say, heart medication or a sedative.

Wait Until She Discovers The Beatles!
MUSIC, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | MARCH 1, 2020
The county fair is currently going on, and a band popular in the 60s and 70s is playing tonight. I am delivering medicine to a customer.

Customer:
“Are you going to the fair tonight? I know a lot of people are going tonight. Hey, what are [Band]?

Me:
“They’re a band that was popular in the 70s, I think. Have you ever heard[lists off their most popular songs]?”

Customer:
“Yeah, I guess. I didn’t know it was their song, though. I’m too old to keep up with that stuff!”

I thanked her and left, trying not to laugh at the fact that the band had formed in the early sixties, before my parents were even born, and I knew who they were. She had to have been about in her thirties at the time they were popular. But hey, maybe thirty is the new sixty for her!

Unfiltered Story #187697
PHARMACY, USA | UNFILTERED | MARCH 1, 2020
(I work at a very well n own pharmacists as a cashier. It’s Easter and we’ve been getting a lot of calls asking whether we’re are open and if we close early. I start work at 11am)
The phone rings
Me: hello this is you pharmacy how can I help you?
Callers: yea I just wanted to know if you guys close early today?
Me: nope. We close at 10
Callers: so is that 10 this morning or 10 tonight?
Me:…

Having A Meow Meow Pow Wow
BIZARRE, NON-DIALOGUE, PHARMACY, SERBIA | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 24, 2020
I was in a pharmacy with two pharmacists working. I was waiting in the left line while in the right there was one of “those” customers, a woman who wanted a “spray that heals cuts.” There was previously an antibiotic spray on the market which did something similar but it’s not available anymore.

The pharmacist explains and explains and the woman says that’s not even it; this spray she is talking about basically heals the injury instantly. (NASA would love to have those, probably!) They go back and forth for a long time.

We all watch with sympathy as the scene unfolds. Since I can be a bit of a complicated customer, I also watch and think, “Whew, there you go. You are not the worst one; that one is definitely crazier!”

As I get called up to the pharmacist on the left, I tell her what I need and she turns around to get it for me. I sort of stare into space and get lost in thought and start quietly singing to myself, “Meow, meow, meow…” to the tune of an ad jingle. Before you ask, I have no idea why.

The pharmacist turns around to see me quietly meowing to a melody to myself and, as our eyes meet, I can just see her thinking, “The crazies are everywhere.”

Unfiltered Story #187020
NEW YORK, PHARMACY, USA | UNFILTERED | FEBRUARY 24, 2020
(I work at a pharmacy/ general store near my house. I usually work behind the register closest to the door, so i get asked about where certain products are. I am also the guy who has to deal with all the refunds. On this day, a old lady and a little girl walk in together. I greet them, and they go on their way. A few minutes later they are at my register.)

Me: “Hello, how are you?”

Old Woman: “I’m good, thank you. I’d like to buy these.”

She hands me a box of tampons.

Me: “One moment please.”

I scan her item, and hand it to her. She pays in full, and the old woman, takes the girl, who I’ve assumed to be her daughter with her.

Four days later, the women return, clearly angry. They approach me.

Old Woman: “I’d like a refund.”

She holds up the box, with has been opened. We have a strict policy for not refunding opened items.

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t give you refunds on used items.”

Old Woman: “Your goddamn faulty products got my daughter pregnant!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Old Woman: You heard me, you son of a b****! These tampons didn’t stop my daughter from getting pregnant.”

By now the whole store is hearing what the lady is saying, and a few of the women on line are laughing quietly.

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, but tampons don’t stop pregnancy.”

Old Woman: What the hell are you talking about? Are you trying to bulls*** me?”

Me: “No, I’m serious. Tampons are for your periods. If you wanted a contraceptive, I would’ve gladly help you out.”

The woman is clearly embarrassed now, since the whole store is laughing at her.

Old Woman: *whisper* “Where are the contraceptives?”

Me: “Aisle three, by the tampons.”

The woman quickly hurries off, and grabs the birth control pills.

Old Woman: “I’m so sorry.”

Me: “It’s alright.”

The lady pays, takes her daughter and runs out the door. My coworkers and I start laughing, and one of the female employees said, “She was a woman right? How did she not know what tampons are?”

Me: “I don’t know, but at least her daughter knows what to look for.”

Unfiltered Story #187008
DETROIT, MICHIGAN, PHARMACY, USA | UNFILTERED | FEBRUARY 24, 2020
(I’m ringing out a customer who wants to update the information on her card. This requires scanning it twice, once for the update, and once for the actual transaction)
Me: Alright, let me see your card so I can update your phone number. Thank you, and please leave it out so I can scan it again during the transaction.
Customer: *puts card away*
Me: Okay then, your current phone number is now attached to your card. Can I please see your [Store] card again? I need to scan it so that you can receive the sale prices on our items.
Customer: Oh…I didn’t know you actually meant what you said earlier.

Unfiltered Story #186928
CANADA, PHARMACY | UNFILTERED | FEBRUARY 19, 2020
(The pharmacy I work at offers a drive-thru service. A customer pulls up, looking irate and holding his medication bag up to his window. Keep in mind I’m very obviously a teenager, voice cracks and all.)

Customer: You f***ing idiots overcharged my medications!

Me: I’m sorry about that, give me a moment and I’ll take care of this.

Customer: You better! If you bunch of jacka**es can’t handle something as simple as charging the right amount, I’ll take my business elsewhere!

(This customer has a complicated billing arrangment between us and his insurance company. The pharmacist who knows the situation is at home, so I call this pharmacist from the drive-thru window. Every few seconds, the customer starts shouting about how stupid I am, how long I’m taking, and that he’s going somewhere else. I assure him I’m working on it, but his shouting gets so loud it overpowers the pharmacist on the phone, making this take even longer. Finally, I have enough.)

Customer: I CAN’T BELIEVE –

Me: *hand over the receiver, almost growling* Shut. Up. Now.

(The customer sputters to a stop, clearly surprised that a teenager still voice cracking would stand up to him like that. But he stayed quiet for the rest of the transaction. I understand being frustrated when a business screws up. But once the employees start fixing it, just be quiet and let them do their job!)

Unfiltered Story #186490
PHARMACY, USA, WASHINGTON DC | UNFILTERED | FEBRUARY 8, 2020
(I am the customer and I am picking up cough meds and an inhaler because I have bronchitis/walking pneumonia. Also, I haven’t slept much in the last week because I’m up all night coughing.)

Me: Hi, I’m here to pick up a prescription.

*pause*

Me: Obviously, since I’m at a pharmacy.

Pharmacist: laughs

Unfiltered Story #185167
CALIFORNIA, PHARMACY, USA | UNFILTERED | FEBRUARY 6, 2020
(I work in a pharmacy and this scenario happens almost weekly)

Tech: I’m sorry, we can’t fill your prescription, we don’t have the medication in stock

Patient: Why can’t you?! I have a prescription!

Tech: I know you do, but we don’t have the medication. We can order it for you for tomorrow or you can take it to another pharmacy

Patient: I always get my medication here, why can’t you fill it?

Tech: Well we can order it for tomorrow, but I don’t have the medication in stock

Patient: But I need it today, just fill it!!

Tech: We don’t have the medication, I can’t give you something we don’t have.

Patient: I don’t get why this happened! You should always have it, I need it now.

Tech: We can order it for tomorrow or you can go to a different pharmacy. There’s nothing else I can do for you. We don’t have the medication *walks away*

Tech: *to me* I don’t get why people come last minute and demand their medication, that prescription was a week old and she knew she was going to run out anyways.

Me: And I don’t get why they always think we should have every medication in stock, like we are a magic vault that can hold every single medication

Unable To Digest That Women Have Other Parts
BIGOTRY, FRANCE, HEALTH & BODY, JERK, PHARMACY | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 5, 2020
(My aunt wakes up one day with very bad stomach pain and gas. My uncle goes to the pharmacy for her and has this conversation with the pharmacist at the counter.)

Uncle: “My wife has stomach pain; what kind of medicine should she take?”

Pharmacist: *in a nonchalant tone* “It must be period cramps. Don’t worry.”

Uncle: “My wife who’s menopaused for two years? I don’t think so.”

Pharmacist: “Then it’s her menopause. Again, no worries.”

Uncle: “I didn’t know menopause could cause stomach pain.”

Pharmacist: *now with a more pedantic tone* “Well, you see, it’s not her stomach. Don’t worry about it.”

(By now my uncle is getting a little pissed off by the pharmacist’s insistence, so he puts his hands on the counter and speaks slowly.)

Uncle: “Listen here. My wife wakes up with stomach pain. The upper part of her belly is swollen; that’s where the stomach is. And she has gas coming from her digestive system, where the stomach is connected. Can I have a medicine for that or not?”

(The pharmacist went to his manager, who found the correct medicine in one minute. We don’t know why he was so insistent with his false diagnosis.)

Unfiltered Story #195015
PHARMACY, TEXAS, USA | UNFILTERED | MAY 30, 2020
I work as a pharmacy clerk, checking out patients with their prescriptions. Our card readers are a little behind schedule, only being updated to take debit in 2015, and the lack of card reader for the new chips cards come with has caused some confusion. A coworker made some bright pink signs reading “Sorry no chip” and taped them over the card slots at each card reader. Despite this, customers still asked daily:

“‘Sorry no chip.’ What does that mean?”

“No chip? Does that mean you can’t take cards?”

*trying to lift the pink note and insert their card* “So do y’all take the chip yet?”

Maybe She Should Take Half The Normal Dose Of That?
FRANCE, PARIS, PHARMACY, WORDPLAY | RIGHT | MAY 29, 2020
I’m a customer, waiting to have my prescription filled. One of my medicines is called UVdose.

Near me, another customer, an elderly lady, is asking for the same one.

Lady: “Oh, yes, I forgot! I need a box of overdose!”

We Know A Few People Who Could Use That Procedure
CRAZY REQUESTS, JERK, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | MAY 27, 2020
I’m a pharmacy technician at a national pharmacy chain. On this particular morning, it’s just me and the pharmacist working. About two minutes after opening, an old woman comes up to the register.

Me: “Good morning. Could I get your name and date of birth, please?”

She gives me her name and birthday. I punch her information into the register and see that we have a prescription ready for her. I grab her prescription from the bin.

Me: “Okay, so, I’ve got your [commonly used blood pressure medication] ready for you.”

Customer: “No, no, no! I don’t need that; I need my Valium!”

From having entered her information into the register, I know we do not have any Valium ready for her, nor are we currently working on any for her. However, if a patient’s medication is on hold, or if we’ve just received it from the doctor and haven’t entered it yet, it won’t show up on the register. I inform the woman there’s no Valium in process for her but that I will check my computer to see if we have any for her.

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I don’t have any Valium in my system for you anywhere. It’s possible that the doctor’s office hasn’t sent it to us yet; I would recommend that you give the office a call.”

Customer: *Now furious with me* “No! You’re lying! I know they sent it to you! They sent it to you yesterday and I need it now because I’m having brain surgery in forty-five minutes at [Hospital in a town thirty minutes away]!”

I’m just dumbstruck that someone would plan this poorly, but I maintain my professional composure.

Me: “I’m so sorry, ma’am, but I have not received any Valium prescription for you.”

Customer: “Well, this is just f****** ridiculous. This kind of s*** is why I changed pharmacies months ago.”

Me: *Slight pause* “Well, then… perhaps your prescription was sent to your current pharmacy?”

Customer: “No! I know for a fact that it was sent to you because I was standing right there when the doctor called you!”

I know this is a lie because of two things. First, doctors never call prescriptions in themselves; they have a nurse or receptionist do it. And second, Valium is a class IV controlled substance and therefore, in our state, it can only be sent to the pharmacy electronically, not over the phone.

Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am, but again, I don’t have any prescription here for you. My best recommendation would be that you call the doctor and ask them to send it again as soon as possible.”

Customer: “No, there’s no time for that. When I get there, I’m gonna tell them it’s your fault that I have to postpone this operation!”

The woman storms off and I walk back to my workstation, almost in a daze.

Pharmacist: “Well, if she’s having brain surgery, I hope that means they’re going to install one.”

Unfiltered Story #194923
IOWA, PHARMACY, USA | UNFILTERED | MAY 25, 2020
(I’m a Certified Pharmacy Technician. It’s a pretty busy day at the Pharmacy. An older –but not elderly– woman walks up to pick up her prescriptions. I start taking care of her and then she explains she needs to get her insulin syringes refilled as well. I look at her profile to get the syringes refilled. As it turns out, it’s about 17 days too soon to get them refilled. I explain this to her)

Customer: No, that’s not right! I’m all out.

ME: Well, you’re using them once a day, correct?

Customer: No, the doctor told me to use them twice a day.

ME: Right, well, we need that as a new prescription from him.

Customer: But he told me..

ME: Yes, ma’am, I understand that he told you that, but your insurance won’t let us put it through until we have the new prescription with the correct instructions. So we just sent a fax requesting the new prescription from your doctor with new instructions.

Customer: Well, what am I supposed to do until he approves it? I’m all out!

ME: Well, we sell a ten pack of insulin syringes for $7 if you’d like to buy some.

Customer: Yeah, I’ll take the box then.

ME: No, ma’am, I can’t sell you the entire box without a prescription. I can only sell you a ten-pack from the box. That’s ten syringes for $7.

Customer: No! That’s too expensive!

ME: (obviously weary. shrugs)

Customer: Well, what am I supposed to do?!

MEweary smile) Buy a ten-pack for $7? (Customer leaves after paying for her other prescriptions which she also gave me a hard time about. Claiming that they needed to be paid for on separate cards even though she had not informed me of this. I’m so sorry ma’am. I must have forgotten to turn on my telepathic abilities for you!)

Pharmacist: $7 too expensive for 10 syringes?

ME: The tweakers that come in here never gripe about paying $7 for clean needles.

Five Little Cents Of Pure Evil
AT THE CHECKOUT, CANADA, JERK, PHARMACY | RIGHT | MAY 24, 2020
It’s seniors day at the drug store where I work. Usually, the worst customers are on seniors day, and this one is no exception. I am serving an older woman at the cash register.

Me: “Did you need a bag at all?”

Customer: “Do you charge for bags?”

Me: “Yes, 5¢ a bag.”

Customer: “Hmph, I knew when I saw you; some people are just evil.”

Me: “All the money from the bags goes to [Store] foundation!”

I finished serving her and she left without a bag, but she continued to rant at me about being evil as she left and as she got her stuff together on a bench in the mall just outside the store.