Have A Heart, Use Your Brain - Page 38 - VietBF
 
 
 
News Library Technology Giải Trí Portals Tin Sốt Home

HOME

NEWS 24h

ZONE 1

ZONE 2

Phim Bộ

Phim Lẻ

Ca Nhạc

Go Back   VietBF > Other News|Tin Khác > Health Care in English


Số bài trả lời (Reply's) : 1879   -   Số người đă xem (Viewers) : 23008
Reply
Page 38 of 38 « First 283637 38
 
Thread Tools
Old 4 Weeks Ago   #1851
florida80
florida80's Avatar
 
R10 Vô Địch Thiên Hạ
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 88,453
Thanks: 6,213
Thanked 36,767 Times in 10,622 Posts
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 511 Post(s)
Rep Power: 110
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
Reputation: 165673
Default

Phoning In The Excuses
CANADA, CURRENT EVENTS, LIARS/SCAMMERS, OPTOMETRIST/OPTICIAN, PATIENTS, RECEPTION, VANCOUVER | HEALTHY | MAY 3, 2020
I work as a medical receptionist for a retinal specialist. The medical building where our office is located has nineteen floors and each floor has up to five medical offices in it.

Due to the current health crisis, the main door of the building is closed; for the patients to get access, someone has to physically let them in. For the last month, this has been my task. When someone approaches the door, I have to greet them, ask them to step back six feet as required by CDC and WHO, and ask them about their recent travel and health history.

There are still quite a few of the specialists in the building that need to see their patients in person, but not all of them have enough staff on payroll to have a greeter. I am only authorized to let my own doctor’s patients in after they have passed the screening and check them off my list. I am forbidden from letting anyone else in unless they are an employee that I recognize or has a valid pass.

A lot of the people stopping by do not feel that they have to be inconvenienced by the rules meant to protect them.

One of the doctors I don’t work for requires that once their patients arrive, they call their office so one of the staff can come down and collect their patients. I am the one that has to explain this to them. The majority comply but quite a few give me trouble. One particular lady, though, takes the cake.

Me: “I am sorry, but due to the current crisis, I can only let my own patients in and no one else.”

Lady: “I do not have my phone with me.”

Me: “I am unable to help you since I do not work for your doctor.”

Lady: “YOU HAVE TO LET ME IN! I AM ALREADY LATE!”

She moves very close to me, less than two feet. I quickly close the door. She starts banging on the glass. I gesture for her to move further for nearly five minutes before she will comply. I look around for the security guard but do not see him.

The lady moves away from the door. I open the door and repeat the rules to her. She screams at me that she does not have her phone with her. I repeat that, in that case, I am unable to help her since I can’t leave my station.

A few minutes later, as I escort a leaving patient out — both because said patient has mobility issues and to prevent the lady from sneaking in — I spot her staring at her phone.

Me: *Somewhat smugly* “I was under the impression that you did not have your phone with you?”

The lady turned bright red and glared at me.
florida80_is_offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4 Weeks Ago   #1852
florida80
florida80's Avatar
 
R10 Vô Địch Thiên Hạ
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 88,453
Thanks: 6,213
Thanked 36,767 Times in 10,622 Posts
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 511 Post(s)
Rep Power: 110
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
Reputation: 165673
Default

Time To Terminate Your Relationship With This Receptionist
JERK, MEDICAL OFFICE, RECEPTION, USA | HEALTHY | MAY 2, 2020
I recently found out that I am pregnant. After discussing it with my husband and taking into account our extensive family history of medical problems along with our own, we decide to terminate the pregnancy.

I call a well-known health and wellness center to schedule a date for the procedure and am told that, due to my health history, I have to go to my gynecologist before I can terminate. I call to schedule that appointment.

Receptionist: “[Doctor]’s office.”

Me: “Hi. My name is [My Name]. I’d like to schedule an appointment with [Doctor].”

Receptionist: “Okay, is this an annual review?”

Me: “Um, no, I’m pregnant.”

Receptionist: “Oh, [Doctor] only deals with exams. She doesn’t do anything with pregnancies.”

Me: “Oh. I was told to meet with her—”

Receptionist: “Who said that?”

Me: “[Wellness Center].”

Receptionist: *With an attitude* “Why are you going there?”

Me: “That’s something I’ll be discussing with the doctor, thank you.”

Receptionist: “Are you having an abortion?”

Me: “Again, that is something I will discuss with the doctor.”

Receptionist: “Well, like I said, she doesn’t do those appointments.”

Me: “Fine. I’d like a wellness visit, then.”

Receptionist: “No, we can’t see you.”

She hangs up on me. Unfortunately for her, the doctor’s office has recently started using an app to help patients get in touch with their doctor and track their health. I send a message to my doctor, detailing my interaction with the receptionist.

The next day, I get a call from the office. It is the same receptionist.

Me: “Hello?”

Receptionist: *Huffy* “[My Name]?”

Me: “Yes.”

Receptionist: “The doctor will see you on [date] at [time]. Will that work for you?”

Me: “Yes, that’s fine.”

Receptionist: “Fine.”

She hung up again. At my appointment, the doctor apologized for the receptionist and said she was dealt with. I don’t know if she was fired or they just had a conversation. My doctor supported my decision and I had no complications.
florida80_is_offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4 Weeks Ago   #1853
florida80
florida80's Avatar
 
R10 Vô Địch Thiên Hạ
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 88,453
Thanks: 6,213
Thanked 36,767 Times in 10,622 Posts
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 511 Post(s)
Rep Power: 110
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
Reputation: 165673
Default

Always Be Honest At The Doctor’s
EDITORS' CHOICE, HEALTH & BODY, MEDICAL OFFICE, PATIENTS, PENNSYLVANIA, PITTSBURGH, USA | HEALTHY | MAY 1, 2020
I have to go get routine blood work and I am not required to fast. I normally get lightheaded and dizzy when doing blood work but only when I have to fast. Still, I’m not the best with needles so I always try to warn the phlebotomist ahead of time.

Me: “Hey, just so you know, I’m not good with getting blood drawn and I have nearly fainted in the past once.”

Phlebotomist: “Nope, not again. Stand up.”

She has me get up off the chair so she can recline it so I’m less likely to get woozy.

Me: “What did you mean not again?”

Phlebotomist: “I’ve had three appointments already today where people have fainted because they neglected to tell me they had issues with getting blood drawn until after they were on the ground.”
florida80_is_offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4 Weeks Ago   #1854
florida80
florida80's Avatar
 
R10 Vô Địch Thiên Hạ
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 88,453
Thanks: 6,213
Thanked 36,767 Times in 10,622 Posts
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 511 Post(s)
Rep Power: 110
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
Reputation: 165673
Default

Feeling A Little Sore About This Nurse
EMERGENCY ROOM, ILLINOIS, NURSES, SILLY, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 30, 2020
I’m working on a project at home and slice my thumb pretty bad. Don’t play with Exacto knives, kids! After forty-five minutes, the bleeding still hasn’t stopped, so my husband and I decide to head to the ER to see if I need stitches.

Fortunately, the doctor is able to glue it back together and I don’t need stitches after all, but I do need a Tetanus shot. The doctor leaves the room and the nurse comes in.

Nurse: “Which arm would you like it in, sweetie?”

Me: “Is it going to cause any muscle soreness tomorrow?”

I ask her this because I’m a photographer and need to use my right arm. I know some shots have this side effect but can’t remember for sure. If it’s not going to cause soreness, then I prefer it in my right arm since I cut my left thumb and don’t want to double up on the discomfort, but if it is going to be sore, then I do want it in my left so my right arm can still be functional for work the next day.

I probably should explain all that, but it’s 1:00 am and I’m tired.

Nurse: “Oh, no, you’ll be fine!”

Me: “Okay, right arm, then.”

She gives me the shot and is cleaning up and getting ready to leave when the doctor comes back in with my discharge instructions.

Doctor: “Okay, so, your arm is going to be pretty sore tomorrow from the shot, but don’t worry; that’s completely normal.”

The nurse freezes in the doorway when he says this, and I look at her in shock.

Nurse: *Muttering* “Rats, almost made it.”

Me: *Incredulous* “You dirty liar!”

I say this very jokingly because we’ve been lighthearted all along and in the grand scheme of things this doesn’t really matter much.

Nurse: “If I had told you that you’d be sore, you would have refused the shot!”

I sigh over-dramatically, turning to the doctor.

Me: “I’m gonna need a work note.”
florida80_is_offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4 Weeks Ago   #1855
florida80
florida80's Avatar
 
R10 Vô Địch Thiên Hạ
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 88,453
Thanks: 6,213
Thanked 36,767 Times in 10,622 Posts
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 511 Post(s)
Rep Power: 110
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
Reputation: 165673
Default

Leave The Medicine To The Medical Professionals
CURRENT EVENTS, CUSTOMER SERVICE, FLORIDA, PATIENTS, POLITICS, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 29, 2020
I work for a mail-order pharmacy that also manages pharmacy benefits. I work in our Medicare division, so 95% of my customers are over 65. This is just after the president has started to praise a certain medication for Lupus as a treatment for this recent widespread illness.

I get a call from a woman nearly sobbing.

Me: “This is [My Name]; how can I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, this is [Caller]. I saw on the news that the president was saying [Drug] could treat the outbreak.”

As I am pulling up our scripting about this, I look at her account and see she is already taking the medication and has claims going back a couple of years.

Me: “Well, ma’am, we understand the concern—”

Caller: “Is there going to be a shortage? What if I can’t get my Lupus medication? I’ve been taking this for ten years!”

This poor woman is sobbing.

Me: “Ma’am, I certainly understand your concern. And we are keeping up with the reports coming out. At this time, I want to assure you that we are prioritizing our patients who already have a valid prescription. If you’re still worried, then when it’s time to renew the prescription, have your doctor state the reason it’s being prescribed. At this time, we have not received word of a shortage, but we are monitoring the situation daily.”

Caller: “Oh, thank you! I just heard the president saying it on TV and now I’m afraid everyone is going to buy it up!”

Me: “Again, I can understand, ma’am. Please know that if there is an issue, we will let you know right away! Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Caller: “No. Oh, God bless you! Thank you!”

She was one of eight that week. Do these politicians not realize their words have effects on people?
florida80_is_offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4 Weeks Ago   #1856
florida80
florida80's Avatar
 
R10 Vô Địch Thiên Hạ
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 88,453
Thanks: 6,213
Thanked 36,767 Times in 10,622 Posts
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 511 Post(s)
Rep Power: 110
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
Reputation: 165673
Default

Nonagenarians Living On The Edge
ASSISTED LIVING, HEALTH & BODY, HOME, PENNSYLVANIA, PITTSBURGH, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 28, 2020
I am an aide for the elderly. I’ve been sick for a few days and since all of my clients are high-risk — as am I because of asthma — I decide to call in sick for a week, just to make sure it isn’t anything serious.

One of my clients has managed to get my personal number and gives me a call.

Client: “[My Name]? Hello!”

Me: “Hello, Miss [Client], how are you?”

Client: “I’m fine. Listen, I was just talking to my son and he is worried about all this nonsense. He wants to cancel your appointments for the month.”

Me: “Oh, that’s actually a great idea! You’re very high-risk because you’re in your nineties and on oxygen. I’m glad you listened to him. Plus, I’m sick, too, so I was really worried about infecting you if this is more serious. “

Client: “You know I don’t care. If I get this disease, then it’s a good day.”

I’m used to her talking like this.

Me: “No, no, no, you don’t want to die from this; it’s pretty bad. You want to go peacefully in bed, remember?”

Client: “Right, right. So, I won’t see you during this month. But you can stop by anytime if you’re in the neighborhood!”

I’m trying not to laugh.

Me: “Miss [Client], I can’t. The whole purpose is to keep you safe.”

She is one of my favorite clients. She’s one of those tough cookies but has a good heart. I’m sure she’s going to be super lonely this month but I told her to call me anytime she wanted to! Also, for those curious, I am feeling a little better but still coughing and having trouble breathing. Yay, asthma.
florida80_is_offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4 Weeks Ago   #1857
florida80
florida80's Avatar
 
R10 Vô Địch Thiên Hạ
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 88,453
Thanks: 6,213
Thanked 36,767 Times in 10,622 Posts
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 511 Post(s)
Rep Power: 110
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
Reputation: 165673
Default

Pussies Playing Possum
AUSTRALIA, BIZARRE, NEW SOUTH WALES, PETS & ANIMALS, VET | HEALTHY | APRIL 27, 2020
I have a cat who had a rough life before she came to me. She was wandering around in the bushland for most of her life and leaving her kittens with people who worked in a building in the area. She was eventually trapped and brought to me as a feral for my barn program. However, we discovered she was friendly and I adopted her and named her Possum.

Possum has some health problems which means a trip to the vet every six months or so. She’s had to have most of her teeth removed, and she has skin problems, pre-cancerous nodules on her throat, and arthritis.

Possum has a purr that sounds roughly like a cross between a demented kookaburra and a lawnmower with a broken blade. She’s also incredibly loud to the point where it’s difficult to hold a conversation in the same room with her when she’s stressed, which means most of this conversation is carried by yelling over the top of her.

I’m leaving the consult room with Possum in a carrier.

Me: “Thanks again for everything. I’ll see you soon.”

Possum: “BRAAAAAAAAAP!”

Me: “How much do I owe?”

Vet Nurse: “It’s [price]. We’ll just get the tablets for you.”

Possum: “BRAAAAAAAAP!”

Other Client: “What do you have in there?”

Me: “Possum.”

Possum: “BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!”

Other Client: “You have a possum in there?”

Me: “What? No, she’s a cat. Her name is Possum.”

The other client looks into the carrier. Possum chokes on her purr and squawks like a dying chicken.

Other Client: “What the f***?”

Possum: “BRAAAAAAAAP!”

I laughed so hard I had to put the carrier down and hang on to the counter.
florida80_is_offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4 Weeks Ago   #1858
florida80
florida80's Avatar
 
R10 Vô Địch Thiên Hạ
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 88,453
Thanks: 6,213
Thanked 36,767 Times in 10,622 Posts
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 511 Post(s)
Rep Power: 110
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
Reputation: 165673
Default

Suffocating Under The Weight Of Lazy Doctors
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, EMERGENCY ROOM, HOSPITAL, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, USA, WASHINGTON | HEALTHY | APRIL 26, 2020
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

I have a medical condition that makes colds and the flu very dangerous for me. I could die from either. I catch the flu despite having gotten vaccinated; the shot doesn’t always work 100%. I am prescribed antiviral medication and actually start feeling better.

But then, I wake up in the middle of the night feeling like I am trying to breathe through Jello. The flu has triggered bronchitis, so I pack a bag and go to the ER.

The doctor there isn’t taking it seriously at all but I know I am in no shape to go home with oral antibiotics. The ER doc has been on the phone with my specialist.

ER Doctor: “Doctor [Specialist] said to send you home with oral antibiotics.”

Me: “Absolutely not. This is probably the sickest I’ve ever been. You never even listened to my lungs, so how can you give my doctor an accurate picture of what’s going on? I’ve had doctors listen to my lungs when I come in for a sprained ankle!”

ER Doctor: “Well, the hospital is pretty full right now, so we’re not going to admit you.”

Me: “Yes, you are! Figure it out, because I’m not going home!”

ER Doctor: “Uh, well… I’ll see what I can do.”

He had a nurse come in and put a pulse-ox monitor on me to measure my pulse and oxygen level and then had me walk. I didn’t make it twenty feet before my oxygen tanked. The doctor was shocked. He thought that everything would be fine and it would prove to me that I was healthy enough to go home. But I obviously wasn’t fine, so they admitted me.

I had a room upstairs about an hour later. He never did listen to my lungs which infuriated my specialist. I spent a week in the hospital and another month recovering at home. I also filed a grievance against that ER doc.
florida80_is_offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4 Weeks Ago   #1859
florida80
florida80's Avatar
 
R10 Vô Địch Thiên Hạ
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 88,453
Thanks: 6,213
Thanked 36,767 Times in 10,622 Posts
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 511 Post(s)
Rep Power: 110
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
Reputation: 165673
Default

Did You Try Reading The Directions?
PHARMACY, RHODE ISLAND, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 25, 2020
A customer comes up to me with a book and a pair of reading glasses.

Customer: “Hi. I have a question. Maybe you can help me.”

Me: “Okay. I can try.”

Customer: “My doctor told me I should get reading glasses, but I don’t understand. Do I put the glasses on over my others? I asked my doctor and he didn’t answer me.”

Me: “Um… no. You just put the reading glasses on.”

Customer: “Oh. Okay. I mean, I can see the writing better this way, but I don’t know why my doctor wouldn’t answer when I asked him. I mean, how am I supposed to wear two pairs of glasses?”
florida80_is_offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4 Weeks Ago   #1860
florida80
florida80's Avatar
 
R10 Vô Địch Thiên Hạ
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 88,453
Thanks: 6,213
Thanked 36,767 Times in 10,622 Posts
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 511 Post(s)
Rep Power: 110
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
Reputation: 165673
Default

Hope You Like Puppies
PETS & ANIMALS, STUPID, USA, VET | HEALTHY | APRIL 24, 2020
I work in a veterinary hospital. A client walks up to the desk.

Client: “I want to give the vaccine to my dog to make her have no more babies.”

Me: “Pardon?”

Client: “You know! The vaccine you give so she can’t have babies.”

Me: “Unfortunately, there is no vaccine that can do that.”

Client: “Oh, then how do you do it?!”

Me: “It’s a surgery; we remove their uterus and their ovaries.”

Client: “Dios mío, no. I’ll leave now. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Me: “Have a good day.”
florida80_is_offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4 Weeks Ago   #1861
florida80
florida80's Avatar
 
R10 Vô Địch Thiên Hạ
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 88,453
Thanks: 6,213
Thanked 36,767 Times in 10,622 Posts
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 511 Post(s)
Rep Power: 110
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
Reputation: 165673
Default

“Opportunistic” Might Be Less Harsh
CRIMINAL & ILLEGAL, FINLAND, PHARMACY | HEALTHY | APRIL 23, 2020
Customer: “To whom can I give this medical waste?”

I notice that the product contains a mild opiate.

Me: “You can give it to me; I’ll make sure it’s properly discarded.”

Customer: “Yeah, I figured that I could have made some money selling it on the street, but that would have been too much of a hassle!”

Me: “Not to mention illegal…”
florida80_is_offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4 Weeks Ago   #1862
florida80
florida80's Avatar
 
R10 Vô Địch Thiên Hạ
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 88,453
Thanks: 6,213
Thanked 36,767 Times in 10,622 Posts
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 511 Post(s)
Rep Power: 110
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
Reputation: 165673
Default

Just What Labor Needs: Complications
CURRENT EVENTS, EMERGENCY SERVICES, HEALTH & BODY, SILLY, UK | HEALTHY | APRIL 22, 2020
The hospital where I’m going to have my baby is currently restricting the number of people who can enter due to a global outbreak of illness. This means my partner can’t be with me for the delivery. This has led to a couple of interesting conversations.

The main one is when my labour starts at home. My partner is talking to the 999 operator on speakerphone to get an ambulance. Halfway through, this happens.

Partner: “Will they get here soon? I think the baby’s coming.”

Operator: “Ma’am, we have to ask that you and your baby stay at home. We can only take the patient. We’re trying to limit the number of people in hospital to reduce the infection rate.”

Partner: *Pauses* “I think you misheard me. I mean the baby currently exiting my wife’s uterus.”

I started laughing so hard I was distracted from contractions for a few minutes.
florida80_is_offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4 Weeks Ago   #1863
florida80
florida80's Avatar
 
R10 Vô Địch Thiên Hạ
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 88,453
Thanks: 6,213
Thanked 36,767 Times in 10,622 Posts
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 511 Post(s)
Rep Power: 110
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
Reputation: 165673
Default

The Editors Are Dying (Of Laughter)
COLORADO, FUNNY, HEALTH & BODY, MEDICAL OFFICE, PATIENTS, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 21, 2020
When I started college, I lived on campus and had a meal plan. I ate a lot of pizza and whatever else you’d expect college kids to eat. I did not drink alcohol and I considered myself pretty healthy.

One day, I started having cramps in my abdomen. It got worse over a few days and I was worried that maybe my appendix was getting ready to burst or that I was having some other issue like that. I went to the local medical clinic to get checked out and make sure I wasn’t dying.

The doctor had me get up on the exam table so she could press around on my abdomen and see what to do next. I was so worried I’d need surgery and have to stay in the hospital with my family being more than four hours away.

As the doctor was pressing around, trying to find the offending area, she told me that I was not dying. I was just constipated and needed to eat some more vegetables; she made a few suggestions.

When I got done, I never told anyone what was actually wrong, just that the doctor said I wasn’t dying.
florida80_is_offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4 Weeks Ago   #1864
florida80
florida80's Avatar
 
R10 Vô Địch Thiên Hạ
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 88,453
Thanks: 6,213
Thanked 36,767 Times in 10,622 Posts
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 511 Post(s)
Rep Power: 110
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
Reputation: 165673
Default

Time Travelling Is No Fun In The Real World
DATE, DEPARTMENT STORE, GOLDEN YEARS, HEALTH & BODY, OREGON, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 20, 2020
I work as a cashier at a department store. This elderly couple comes up to the register. They’re regulars and also happen to be the grandparents of my Person In Charge.

The woman writes a check, like she always does, and hands it to me when she’s finished. I do a quick once-over but then notice something strange. The date she has just written is wrong. And I don’t mean, oh, she put last month or the wrong day on. We are in August of 2018 and the date she wrote was December 13th… 1947. I have her correct it and off she goes.

I call my PIC over to my register.

Me: “Um, [PIC], I need to tell you something. Your grandma came through my line and wrote a check but she got the date wrong. Like… really really wrong.”

I pull the check out and show it to him.

Me: “I think you need to take her to the doctor as soon as possible. My brother is a fireman and I’ve heard of things like this happening. I don’t think it’s life-threatening at the moment; she seemed fine aside from the date. But something is wrong.”

The next day, he took her to the doctor to get checked out. It turned out she’d had a small stroke and had the onset of dementia.
florida80_is_offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4 Weeks Ago   #1865
florida80
florida80's Avatar
 
R10 Vô Địch Thiên Hạ
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 88,453
Thanks: 6,213
Thanked 36,767 Times in 10,622 Posts
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 511 Post(s)
Rep Power: 110
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
Reputation: 165673
Default

Definitely The Wrong Call
ALBERTA, CANADA, EMPLOYEES, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, PHARMACY | HEALTHY | APRIL 19, 2020
I see a missed call on my phone and recognize the number from a store where I used to work over ten years ago. I check my voicemail and it’s from the pharmacy.

Pharmacy: “Hi, [My Name], it’s [Store Pharmacy]. We aren’t able to get your prescription in; can you call us back?”

I moved my prescriptions since I quit and haven’t been to the doctor recently, so I call back, confused.

Pharmacy: “Hello, [Story Pharmacy], how can I help you?”

Me: “My name is [My Name] and I just had a missed call about a prescription?”

Pharmacy: “Yes, we aren’t able to order the cream in but we called [Doctor] to ask about an alternative.”

Me: “That’s not my prescription; I haven’t had anything filled there in years. It must be for someone else?”

Pharmacy: “Is your name [Full Name]?”

Me: “Yes.”

Pharmacy: “Is your phone number [number I called from]?”

Me: “Yes.”

Pharmacy: “Is your birthdate June 2—”

I cut them off.

Me: “That is not my birthdate; I’m not allowed to hear that information. This is someone else’s prescription.”

Pharmacist: “Oh, sorry about that, then!”

Am I glad I switched pharmacies…
florida80_is_offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4 Weeks Ago   #1866
florida80
florida80's Avatar
 
R10 Vô Địch Thiên Hạ
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 88,453
Thanks: 6,213
Thanked 36,767 Times in 10,622 Posts
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 511 Post(s)
Rep Power: 110
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
Reputation: 165673
Default

When Mom And Dad Are Scarier Than The Dentist
BIZARRE, DENTIST, PATIENTS, PHONE, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 17, 2020
I used to work in a children’s dental clinic. One of my jobs was to contact the parents to remind them of their child’s appointment. One afternoon, I dialed a number and it went to voicemail. This is what I heard:

“Death waits for all of us. It casts a shadow before the young and dances on the back of the old. It comes whenever it will: in your sleep, while you eat, while you drive…”

There was a pause.

“Hmm, maybe even in a voicemail message. If you are brave, leave one.”

Then came the beep.

I’ve never left my message so quickly. And it was for two kids!
florida80_is_offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4 Weeks Ago   #1867
florida80
florida80's Avatar
 
R10 Vô Địch Thiên Hạ
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 88,453
Thanks: 6,213
Thanked 36,767 Times in 10,622 Posts
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 511 Post(s)
Rep Power: 110
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
Reputation: 165673
Default

A Difference As Simple As Black And White
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, SILLY, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 15, 2020
Even though this incident had me briefly worried, I really love it in retrospect simply because of what it meant about the young man involved. His heart was in the right place, and I have to say, he had a good world view.

I’m in the hospital for what the doctor tells me is major surgery. As often happens in these hospital jaunts, I meet the entire staff of people who will be attending my operation.

Just before surgery, the anesthesiologist and his — rather new and green and eager — assistant come in to bid me a good day. They are in masks, scrubs, and caps.

Anesthesiologist: “Hi, [My Name]. My name is [Anesthesiologist] and this is my assistant, [Assistant]. We will be taking care of the anesthesia for you this morning.”

We chat, and I ask questions. [Assistant] desperately wants to prove to the two of us that he knows what is going on and makes a couple of comments that are really gauche and a little stupid, but since it has nothing to do with anesthesia or surgery, I am not concerned. His boss occasionally rolls his eyes, and he tells me, “He really knows his stuff but he’s a little awkward socially,” when [Assistant] leaves the room.

I’m not concerned; I trust my doctor, the anesthesiologist has been very reassuring, and I figure it’s a little late to turn back now.

The surgery goes fine and I wake up a few hours later. Eventually, two handsome young men walk into my room.

Anesthesiologist: “Hi, [My Name]! Do you remember us?”

Me: “I sure do.” *Pointing* “You’re [Anesthesiologist] and you’re [Assistant].”

Anesthesiologist: “Wow. You’re really sharp. You remembered our names!”

Assistant: *In awe* “And, hey. She got us right, too. You couldn’t even see us when we first met. We were in masks! She was still able to tell us apart!”

[Anesthesiologist] and I look at each other and [Anesthesiologist] cheerfully smacks [Assistant] in the shoulder.

Anesthesiologist: *To me* “Tell him how you could tell us apart! Go on. Tell him.”

[Assistant] looks at me expectantly.

Me: “I could tell you apart because [Anesthesiologist] is black and you are not.”

[Assistant] stares at us for a few minutes as if just noticing that he and his mentor look nothing alike, even down to the fact that [Anesthesiologist] is small and compact and [Assistant] is tall and lanky.

It is the cutest moment ever. And I just love the fact that [Assistant] never considered it. When I speak with my doctor later, I mention the incident. She bursts out laughing.

Doctor: “Yeah, [Assistant]’s a little ditzy, but I have to say we should all have his world view.”
florida80_is_offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4 Weeks Ago   #1868
florida80
florida80's Avatar
 
R10 Vô Địch Thiên Hạ
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 88,453
Thanks: 6,213
Thanked 36,767 Times in 10,622 Posts
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 511 Post(s)
Rep Power: 110
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
Reputation: 165673
Default

A Hearty Dose Of Stupid Questions
EMPLOYEES, FLORIDA, HOSPITAL, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 13, 2020
I’m a nurse at a busy hospital. We often get calls about anomalous readings regarding the heart monitors from the techs who monitor them remotely. Usually, it’s an easy fix like changing out the batteries of the monitor, making sure the connection is secure, or reattaching leads — those sticky things they stick all over your chest and belly at the hospital.

One afternoon, I get this call.

Heart Monitor Tech: “Are you the nurse for room [number]? Oh, my God, your patient is in asystole!” *Meaning they’re flat-lining* “You need to check on them right away.”

Me: “Hmm, I assure you she is not. I’m standing in front of her and she is breathing and talking to me right now.”

Heart Monitor Tech: “Are you sure?”

Me: *In my head* “Yes, I’m absolutely sure I’m not talking to a f****** corpse.”

Me: *Out loud* “I’ll be sure to check the monitor and leads, thanks.”

Patient: “So, I’m definitely not dead? Right?”
florida80_is_offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4 Weeks Ago   #1869
florida80
florida80's Avatar
 
R10 Vô Địch Thiên Hạ
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 88,453
Thanks: 6,213
Thanked 36,767 Times in 10,622 Posts
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 511 Post(s)
Rep Power: 110
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
Reputation: 165673
Default

The Hamster Is Probably More Self-Aware
CURRENT EVENTS, HEALTH & BODY, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, JERK, SOUTH CAROLINA, STRANGERS, USA, VET | HEALTHY | APRIL 12, 2020
I’m in my mid-forties. My beloved hamster started to have blood in his urine at about the worst possible time, during the start of a widespread illness. I got a same-day emergency appointment and took him to my local vet who, thankfully, was open.

There was a large sign on their door asking patients not to enter if they showed any signs of the illness, but rather to call for further instructions. I stopped, read the sign, and then carefully entered, stopping at the tape marker before the receptionist’s desk. The receptionist was a woman in her sixties wearing gloves and other protective equipment.

I noted after greeting her that I had read the sign and had no symptoms. The vet, the receptionist, and I were all careful to keep separation as much as possible during the visit.

The visit went well and my hamster was prescribed antibiotics. As I was waiting to check out and pay, a woman in her sixties walked in the door with no pet and stood right next to me, despite the fact that the place had no other clients and she could easily have moved further away.

I moved away as far as I could get and still conduct my transaction.

The receptionist told the woman, “I need to ask you if you have read the sign.”

“What sign?” the woman asked.

“Please go outside and read the sign.”

The woman stepped out, huffing, and read the sign while the receptionist and I looked at each other in horror like, “Duh? There is a flipping world-wide crisis going on.” The receptionist actually smacked her forehead and I shook my head in sheer disbelief.

The woman stepped back in and said, “I read the sign. I’m fine,” and then flopped down in a chair as close to me as she could possibly get.

I looked at the receptionist like, “Help!” and she got me checked out and on my way as fast as possible. I fled out the door with my sweet boy — the receptionist was kind enough to hold the door for us — and I hear the woman asking her if she could buy a commonly available brand of dog food you can get at nearly any store.

I still can’t believe she’d risk her life in an international health crisis for dog food she could have ordered online or had delivered to her car at the nearest pet store, and then further do so by standing right next to someone.

If I get this illness, I have a pretty good chance of making it. People her age are dying at a rate of one out of three. If the CDC and WHO and everyone else tell you to separate as much as possible, do it!

Much as I am annoyed by young people partying on the beach during this, it’s not just them that are acting foolishly.

My hamster, by the way, is doing fine.
florida80_is_offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4 Weeks Ago   #1870
florida80
florida80's Avatar
 
R10 Vô Địch Thiên Hạ
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 88,453
Thanks: 6,213
Thanked 36,767 Times in 10,622 Posts
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 511 Post(s)
Rep Power: 110
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
Reputation: 165673
Default

Putting The Wrong Person Under Pressure
HOSPITAL, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, PATIENTS, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 11, 2020
I work in an ER as a health unit coordinator, which means one of my many jobs is answering the phones. I’m not allowed to give medical advice over the phone, and neither is anyone else. The phone rings.

Me: “[ER], this is [My Name].”

Man: “Hey, uh, so, I’m sitting in [Other Local ER]’s waiting room. They just took my blood pressure and it seemed high; can you tell me if it’s high or not?”

Me: “Did you say you’re sitting at the [Other Local ER]?”

Man: “Yeah! So, my blood pressure was [a very normal and perfect pressure]; is that high?”

Me: “Unfortunately, sir, I can’t give you any medical advice over the phone, but since you’re sitting in another ER, you could ask them, or I could refer you to a nurse hotline number.”

Man: “Could I get that number, please?”

Me: “Uh, sure.”

He took the number and hung up. For the life of me, I can’t figure out why he would think to call another ER to find out if his blood pressure was high.
florida80_is_offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4 Weeks Ago   #1871
florida80
florida80's Avatar
 
R10 Vô Địch Thiên Hạ
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 88,453
Thanks: 6,213
Thanked 36,767 Times in 10,622 Posts
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 511 Post(s)
Rep Power: 110
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
Reputation: 165673
Default

A Grand Effort To Prevent Disease
CURRENT EVENTS, GRANDPARENTS, HEALTH & BODY, MEDICAL OFFICE, MICHIGAN, NON-DIALOGUE, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 10, 2020
My aunt was about to become a grandmother and wanted to make sure she was clean of any diseases before visiting her daughter and newborn grandchild in the hospital. She had suspected that she had a cold and wanted to make sure it wasn’t anything worse, so she set up a doctor’s appointment.

When she went in for her appointment, the doctor came into the exam room in a full hazmat suit.

The doctor apologized and explained that it was a new protocol when seeing patients who might have a certain disease. My aunt was given a clean bill of health and will see her first grandchild soon.
florida80_is_offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4 Weeks Ago   #1872
florida80
florida80's Avatar
 
R10 Vô Địch Thiên Hạ
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 88,453
Thanks: 6,213
Thanked 36,767 Times in 10,622 Posts
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 511 Post(s)
Rep Power: 110
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
Reputation: 165673
Default

Weird Is The Word
HOSPITAL, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, PATIENTS, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 9, 2020
I work in an ER as a health unit coordinator, which means one of my many jobs is answering the phones. I’m not allowed to look up patients’ medical records except for in certain circumstances.

The phone rings.

Me: “[ER], this is [My Name]; how can I help you?”

Man: “What’s this word?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Man: “This word in front of me; what does it mean?”

Me: “Sir, I can’t see what’s in front of you. Could you spell the word out for me?”

He spells out a word and I write it down; it’s not a word, term, or medication I’ve ever heard of before. I pronounce it how I assume the word would be pronounced.

Man: “What is it?”

Me: “I’m not sure. Uh… how can I help you?”

Man: “This paper here said to call this number for the pharmacy if I had any questions, so I did!”

Me: “Sir, this is the ER.”

Man: “Oh, really?! Can you, like, look up medical records?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but unfortunately, I can’t do that.”

Man: “Really? You can’t look it up for [Man]?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry, I’m not allowed.”

Man: “Aw, man! Okay, well, have a good night!”

That was one of the weirdest calls I have ever gotten.
florida80_is_offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4 Weeks Ago   #1873
florida80
florida80's Avatar
 
R10 Vô Địch Thiên Hạ
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 88,453
Thanks: 6,213
Thanked 36,767 Times in 10,622 Posts
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 511 Post(s)
Rep Power: 110
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
Reputation: 165673
Default

Self-Isolate Before It’s Too Iso-Late
AUSTRALIA, CURRENT EVENTS, HEALTH & BODY, HOSPITAL, STUPID | HEALTHY | APRIL 8, 2020
This call takes place in mid-February 2020, just as the panic is starting but before any of the major lockdowns in Australia. My hospital has just opened up a testing clinic but is only accepting patients who meet certain criteria. I’m a switchboard operator, and we’re not medically trained and are not meant to give advice, but in this strange new world we’re in we are finding ourselves having to triage callers to help lighten the load.

Caller: “I heard you guys are testing for that Corona? Where do I go?”

Me: “Okay, first, I just need to check that you meet the criteria to be tested. Are you currently experiencing flu-like symptoms?”

Caller: “Yes, my husband and I have a fever and sore throat.”

Me: “Okay, and have you been overseas in the last fourteen days?”

Caller: “Yes, we just got back from Italy two days ago.”

Me: “Okay. It sounds like you do meet the criteria to be tested.”

I give specific instructions for how to access the clinic using a special entrance.

Caller: “Okay, thanks. We’ll come in soon. Oh, also, my aunty is admitted there with you guys at the moment. Might as well kill two birds with one stone and visit her while we’re there!”

Me: “Umm, no, please don’t do that.”

Caller: “Huh? Why not?”

Me: “Uh… They ask you to self-isolate if you believe you have it. I would not recommend visiting an inpatient.”

Caller: “What? Oh, yeah, I guess that makes sense. Okay, we won’t visit her, then. Thank you, bye!”

This is why it’s spreading!
florida80_is_offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4 Weeks Ago   #1874
florida80
florida80's Avatar
 
R10 Vô Địch Thiên Hạ
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 88,453
Thanks: 6,213
Thanked 36,767 Times in 10,622 Posts
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 511 Post(s)
Rep Power: 110
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
Reputation: 165673
Default

A Depressing Misunderstanding
CALIFORNIA, LOS ANGELES, MEDICAL OFFICE, NURSES, USA, WORDPLAY | HEALTHY | APRIL 7, 2020
I’ve recently started antidepressants, and a nurse calls me a few days later to check on me.

Nurse: “How are you feeling? Are the meds working for you?”

Me: “A bit better, but I’m still taking stock.”

Nurse: “What was that?”

Me: “I’m taking stock? To see if I feel better?”

Nurse: “You shouldn’t be doing that.”

Me: “What? Why not?”

Nurse: “You shouldn’t be taking anything not prescribed by your doctor.”

Me: “But I’m taking stock; it’s just an idiom. Because I’m not sure yet whether the medicine is working.”

Nurse: “Would you like me to have the pharmacy give you a call?”

Me: “That would probably help. Thank you.”
florida80_is_offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4 Weeks Ago   #1875
florida80
florida80's Avatar
 
R10 Vô Địch Thiên Hạ
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 88,453
Thanks: 6,213
Thanked 36,767 Times in 10,622 Posts
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 511 Post(s)
Rep Power: 110
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
Reputation: 165673
Default

America, Ladies And Gents!
BILLING, COLORADO, EDITORS' CHOICE, HEALTH & BODY, HOSPITAL, NON-DIALOGUE, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 6, 2020
My dad needed to get his physical done and went to our family doctor. The doctor’s office was located in a sort of strip mall setup along with other private practitioners and specialists. This building was, in turn, located directly adjacent to the actual local hospital, even sharing the same parking lot.

As part of the physical, my dad was getting blood drawn but the nurse had difficulty getting their needle into his veins, meaning he had a needle probing in his body much longer than usual. Eventually, his body decided enough was enough and he seized.

Worried for his health, they quickly loaded my dad onto a gurney and wheeled him across the parking lot to the ER where he was quickly diagnosed as being fine. After he recovered, the blood draw was rescheduled and he headed home.

Fast forward a few weeks: a bill from the hospital arrived. Since he’d gone to the ER, my dad was expecting a high price, but this proved to be even more than expected by several hundred dollars.

Looking through the itemized bill, it was mostly the expected expenses: ER visit, fluids, etc. What stuck out was the several-hundred-dollar ambulance service my dad apparently got from being wheeled across the parking lot on a gurney.

He fought the bill, saying he might have paid if they’d at least put him in an ambulance and let him turn on the siren.
florida80_is_offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4 Weeks Ago   #1876
florida80
florida80's Avatar
 
R10 Vô Địch Thiên Hạ
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 88,453
Thanks: 6,213
Thanked 36,767 Times in 10,622 Posts
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 511 Post(s)
Rep Power: 110
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
Reputation: 165673
Default

Finally, Someone With A Dose Of Sense
CALIFORNIA, PHARMACY, RECEPTION, USA, VET | HEALTHY | APRIL 3, 2020
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

There are certain medications that can be used in both humans and animals, but usually, the dosages are very different. One of these medications is Phenobarbital, a seizure medication. Our office doesn’t keep this medication in stock so we have to call it in to a human pharmacy.

One of our canine patients is on Phenobarbital. He has been stable on his dose for years, but they do not make a pill in the size he needs, so we prescribe him two different sizes to add up to the right amount. Apparently, this is not regularly done with humans, because every time we call in his medication we get a call from the pharmacy to confirm some things. So, we put a note on his file with what to say when they call back.

I am training a new receptionist and have just had her call in his refill authorization. Soon after. we get the expected call from the pharmacist. She has the pharmacy on hold and asks what to do, so I tell her to open his chart and read the script.

New Receptionist: “Hello. Apparently, I have to read this note to you. Yes, he needs both sizes. Yes, at the same time. Yes, we know this is a very large dose for a human, but he is a dog. He is a very large dog. He has been taking the pills like this for years now. Thank you.”

I am sitting there listening to her side of this, fighting the urge to facepalm, and thinking it was pretty obvious that those were meant to be the responses to questions she would be asked and not to be read straight through like that.

The pharmacist says something and she replies:

New Receptionist: “I’m not sure. Um, looks like the note was dated four years ago.” *Pause* “Um, I think so; let me check.” *Turns to me* “Hey, [My Name], have we been saying this every time we call his medication in?”

I nod and she turns back to the phone.

New Receptionist: “Yeah, we have.” *Pause* “Really? That’d probably save everyone some time. Thanks.” *Hangs up* “They are going to put a copy of our note on their computers so they don’t have to keep calling in every time.”

Me: “Wait, they could do that? I thought it was a requirement for them to confirm odd-sounding doses, and that the phone calls were just formalities so they could check a box saying they did it. How did none of them ever notice that we were having the same conversation every four months?”

We no longer get confirmation calls for that patient.
florida80_is_offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4 Weeks Ago   #1877
florida80
florida80's Avatar
 
R10 Vô Địch Thiên Hạ
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 88,453
Thanks: 6,213
Thanked 36,767 Times in 10,622 Posts
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 511 Post(s)
Rep Power: 110
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
Reputation: 165673
Default

Didn’t Pass The Think-It-Through Checkpoint
ALBERTA, CANADA, CURRENT EVENTS, HEALTH & BODY, MEDICAL OFFICE, PARENTS/GUARDIANS | HEALTHY | APRIL 2, 2020
It’s -17C, windchill to -19C, but the cutoff for “don’t take the baby outside unless the house is on fire” is -20 including windchill, so I bundle her three outfits deep under her snowsuit, mittens, toque, and bunting, and catch the bus to an appointment. She’s asleep by the time we get there, but I’m wide awake, cheeks frosty, steps quick. Stepping in, I find an antiviral checkpoint just inside the front door, manned by a guy in a white bodysuit and a blue mask.

My first thought: “Oh, no, zombies!”

I might be very slightly drunk on sleep deprivation.

Checkpoint Guy: “Hi, there! Just before you step in, can I ask you some questions?”

Me: “Sure.”

[Checkpoint Guy] asks about travel and a list of symptoms. I answer each question the same way.

Me: “Nope.”

Checkpoint Guy: “All righty, then. Let me just check your guys’ temperatures — or I assume you’ve got a passenger in there!”

Me: “Yup!”

I crack open one of the hoods, displaying a bundle of cloth that has two cheeks, two closed eyes, a nose, and no other visible skin.

Checkpoint Guy: “Awww! I shouldn’t have to wake her up. Just that little cheeky-cheek should be good!”

I think of my own frosty cheeks.

Me: “Her cheek’s going to be pretty cold.”

Checkpoint Guy: “Yup! Little cheeky-cheek!”

His remote thermometer beeps and shows 30.

Checkpoint Guy: “Okey-dokey! Now, I need to do you.”

Me: “Sure.”

[Checkpoint Guy] beeps my cheek.

Checkpoint Guy: “Yup! You’re good! Just have some hand sanitizer and you’re on your way!”

Me: “Sure.”

I use sanitizer, go through, and push the elevator button.

New Voice Behind Me: “Aren’t you cold?”

Checkpoint Guy: “Nope! I’m good! I’ve got long johns, extra shirts, and warm gloves under the medical gloves. Standing right by the door all day — I’m prepared!”

Pause.

Checkpoint Guy: “You know, everyone I’ve checked has read really low, like 30 degrees. Do you think it’s because they just came in from the outdoors?”

Yes, I mentioned this hitch to the doctor I saw.
florida80_is_offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4 Weeks Ago   #1878
florida80
florida80's Avatar
 
R10 Vô Địch Thiên Hạ
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 88,453
Thanks: 6,213
Thanked 36,767 Times in 10,622 Posts
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 511 Post(s)
Rep Power: 110
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
Reputation: 165673
Default

On April First, Trust No One
EDITORS' CHOICE, FAMILY & KIDS, HOLIDAYS, HOSPITAL, NURSES, PENNSYLVANIA, PRANKS, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 1, 2020
My wife was in labor for about twenty hours before deciding to do a cesarean section. I am 6’8″ tall and about 300 pounds. During our visits through the pregnancy, I regularly joked around with the doctor. Even in the Lamaze classes, I would joke around, typically embarrassing my beautiful wife.

My oldest son was born via C-Section at 11:50 PM on March 31st. I was there, I watched, and I was exhausted. It was gruesome and awesome at the same time.

I was extremely emotional — had a son! I was crying tears of joy.

After he was extracted from his nine-month sentence inside of my wife, he was swaddled appropriately by the nurses in the operating room. We were both then whisked away: him to the nursery to get de-munged, and me to see my large family — brothers, parents,

Godparents, etc. — all of whom were at the hospital waiting in anticipation of the big event.

So, there I was, telling my family that we had a beautiful boy, and that everyone was okay. I was blubbering as tears were still streaming.

All of a sudden, in an over-the-top manner, a nurse came running around the corner and said, “Mr. [My Name], Mr. [My Name]! They need you back in the operating room! The second one just came out!”

Huh, what? What? WHAT?! Oh, my God! I started running down the hall to go back to the operating room. I’ve never been considered graceful, and it really wasn’t pretty to see me lumbering down the hall.

I heard the nurse call out again, “MR. [MY NAME]!”

My response was dramatic and immediate as I spun to look at her. “WHAT?” I exclaimed.

With a very calm demeanor and a twinkle in her eye, she said, very matter-of-factly, “April Fools.”

I could have been knocked over with a feather. I stammered and stammered. Meanwhile, my family, who witnessed the event, were in stitches enjoying the whole scene as it played out in front of them.

In the operating room, my wife was laughing (while being stitched back together). All of this was the doctor’s idea, II suppose a little of my own medicine after enduring me throughout the pregnancy.

It’s a story that I tell often, not only for the humor in it, but also because it was one of the greatest days of my life: the day I met a great person, my wonderful son.
florida80_is_offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4 Weeks Ago   #1879
florida80
florida80's Avatar
 
R10 Vô Địch Thiên Hạ
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 88,453
Thanks: 6,213
Thanked 36,767 Times in 10,622 Posts
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 511 Post(s)
Rep Power: 110
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
Reputation: 165673
Default

April Is A Nice Name
CALIFORNIA, CHILDREN, HOSPITAL, PRANKS, SONS & DAUGHTERS, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 1, 2020
It is April Fool’s Day. I go into the hospital for a scheduled cesarean for my third child. Thanks to both a blood test and an ultrasound, we know we’re having a boy. The surgery starts, and it doesn’t go as expected.

Doctor: “Oh, wow, look at that!”

Surgical Tech: “Oh, my gosh.”

Me: “What?”

Doctor: “Okay, it’s a girl.”

Me & Husband: “What?”

Husband: “Did you say, ‘girl’?”

I just started laughing. And that’s how our daughter entered the world — by conning us into thinking she was going to be a boy, and revealing her true nature on April Fools Day. Well played, baby. Well played.
florida80_is_offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4 Weeks Ago   #1880
florida80
florida80's Avatar
 
R10 Vô Địch Thiên Hạ
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 88,453
Thanks: 6,213
Thanked 36,767 Times in 10,622 Posts
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 511 Post(s)
Rep Power: 110
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9florida80 Reputation Uy Tín Level 9
Reputation: 165673
Default

At Least The Names They Picked Had Letters In Them
CALIFORNIA, EDITORS' CHOICE, FUNNY NAMES, PETS & ANIMALS, SILLY, USA, VET | HEALTHY | MARCH 30, 2020
I work for a vet, and I’m checking in a new patient. She was adopted from a shelter about a year ago and is now due for her annual exam and vaccines. Her entire family comes with her: Mom, Dad, and three pre-teen or teen children.

Me: “The shelter paperwork says her name is Princess. Is that still her name?”

I get five very clear negative responses.

Me: “So, what is her new name?”

Simultaneously, each from a different person, I hear the names Molly, Fluffy, Annie, Coco, and Jessie. They then fall into a several-minute-long discussion of names where they actually end up adding at least three other options. I let them continue until an exam room is available and then lead them in and put the chart on the doctor’s ready pile. When the doctor grabs her chart, he gives me a look.

Me: “It’s the only thing they all agreed on.”

The doctor shrugs and walks into the room.

Doctor: “So, this is the dog formerly known as Princess?
florida80_is_offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Page 38 of 38 « First 283637 38

User Tag List

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Facebook Comments


 
iPad Tablet Menu

HOME

Breaking News

Society News

VietOversea

World News

Business News

Other News

History

Car News

Computer News

Game News

USA News

Mobile News

Music News

Movies News

Sport News

ZONE 1

ZONE 2

Phim Bộ

Phim Lẻ

Ca Nhạc

Thơ Ca

Help Me

Sport Live

Stranger Stories

Comedy Stories

Cooking Chat

Nice Pictures

Fashion

School

Travelling

Funny Videos

NEWS 24h

HOT 3 Days

NEWS 3 Days

HOT 7 Days

NEWS 7 Days

HOT 30 Days

NEWS 30 Days

Member News

Tin Sôi Nổi Nhất 24h Qua

Tin Sôi Nổi Nhất 3 Ngày Qua

Tin Sôi Nổi Nhất 7 Ngày Qua

Tin Sôi Nổi Nhất 14 Ngày Qua

Tin Sôi Nổi Nhất 30 Ngày Qua
Diễn Đàn Người Việt Hải Ngoại. Tự do ngôn luận, an toàn và uy tín. V́ một tương lai tươi đẹp cho các thế hệ Việt Nam hăy ghé thăm chúng tôi, hăy tâm sự với chúng tôi mỗi ngày, mỗi giờ và mỗi giây phút có thể. VietBF.Com Xin cám ơn các bạn, chúc tất cả các bạn vui vẻ và gặp nhiều may mắn.
Welcome to Vietnamese American Community, Vietnamese European, Canadian, Australian Forum, Vietnamese Overseas Forum. Freedom of speech, safety and prestige. For a beautiful future for Vietnamese generations, please visit us, talk to us every day, every hour and every moment possible. VietBF.Com Thank you all and good luck.


All times are GMT. The time now is 22:01.
VietBF - Vietnamese Best Forum Copyright ©2006 - 2021
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2021 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Log Out Unregistered

Page generated in 0.19767 seconds with 14 queries