Have A Heart, Use Your Brain

A Gross Grocery Error
EDITORS' CHOICE, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, NEW JERSEY, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | JANUARY 2, 2014
(The customer in front of me is dropping off a prescription. She’s on her phone.)

Customer: “…and then can you pick up [Child] from school, or do you want me— Hang on, I’m at the front of the line.” *to pharmacist* “Here’s my prescription, ID, insurance data. Need anything else?”

Pharmacist: “Just give me a minute to read through this.”

Customer: *on phone* “So, anyway, about the groceries. Why is taking—”

Pharmacist: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Oh, hang on.” *to pharmacist* “Sorry, I know it’s rude to talk on the phone, but—”

Pharmacist: “No, no. Your prescription. It says ‘cheese, yogurt, chunky peanut butter.'”

(There is a pause.)

Customer: *on phone* “I think I know why it’s taking you so long at the grocery store.”

Doesn’t Have A Glue
PHARMACY | RIGHT | DECEMBER 29, 2013
(We have bottles of hand sanitizer at the pick-up and drop off counters for customers to use if they please.)

Me: “Hi. Can I help you?”

Customer: “WHAT DID I JUST PUT ON MY HANDS?”

Me: “Er, what?”

Customer: *waving hands frantically* “What’s in that bottle? It’s not glue is it? My hands aren’t going to stick to my cart when I touch it?”

Me: “No, ma’am. It’s just hand sanitizer.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Thanks! Have a good day!”

(The customer leaves without getting anything from the dispensary.)

Me: *to coworker* “Why the h*** would we have glue in squirt bottles?”

Can’t Pin Him Down To A Number, Part 2
PHARMACY | RIGHT | DECEMBER 10, 2013
(It’s Friday afternoon, and I am a customer waiting for my prescriptions in the waiting area of my pharmacy. The customer ahead of me, a gruff older man, is getting upset with the cashier over a problem with the card reader.)

Customer: “I’m telling you, it’s not my card. It’s your machine!”

Cashier: “Sir, you have to enter your PIN correctly—”

Customer: “I KNOW how to enter my PIN! Your machines are wrong! This doesn’t happen to me anywhere else.”

Cashier: “I don’t know what to tell you, sir. My machine has been functioning properly all day. Your transaction failed after you entered your PIN. Would you like to try it again?”

Customer: “If I try it again, you better MAKE it work right! [Financial Institution] is going to freeze my card if I keep trying. I’m going away for the weekend so I NEED my card to work!”

Cashier: “Well, I can’t put in your PIN for you, sir. So I can’t guarantee you it will work.”

Customer: “This has happened the last two times I’ve been in here! I’ve been a customer here for 30 years and you’re saying it’s MY fault? Your machines are wrong! And now my card is going to be frozen until Monday!”

Cashier: “I don’t know what else to tell you, sir. Let me get my manager.”

(The cashier pages the manager, who arrives promptly.)

Manager: “I understand there’s some trouble with your card, sir?”

Customer: “The machine is messing up. It’s NOT my PIN. My card is going to be frozen and I’m going away this weekend!”

Manager: “I understand, sir. If you have time to wait, I’ll call [Financial Institution, which is also responsible for card reader] and try to find out what’s going on.”

(My manager dials the phone and explains the situation to tech support.)

Manager: *on phone* “Uh-huh. I see.”

Customer: “Ask them if my card is frozen!”

Manager: *on phone* “So there’s no problem with our system? Alright. Thank you.”

Customer: “Oh, wait. My PIN on this card is five digits. I only entered four!”

Intelligence Is Not The Flavor Of The Month
PHARMACY | WORKING | DECEMBER 3, 2013
(In the UK, you get your prescriptions for free if you’re age 16, 17, or 18, and in full-time education, which I am. Your age in years and months is written on your collection form. Mine reads 16 years and 9 months.)

Me: “Hello. I need to pick up a prescription. Could you show me what I need to sign?”

Pharmacist: *glances at the form* “Are you working?”

Me: “No.”

Pharmacist: “Are you in full-time education?”

Me: “Yes.”

Pharmacist: “Are any of these applicable?”

(The pharmacist points to war veterans benefits and low income benefits, as well as two others that definitely don’t apply.)

Me: “Uh. No.”

Pharmacist: “Well, I’m afraid you’re going to have to pay for this medicine. It’ll be £7.88.”

Me: “What? It’s always been free in the past! I haven’t got any money on me.”

Pharmacist: “It’s £7.88, I’m afraid. If you want, I can hold it for you and you can pick it up later when you’ve got some money. We close at 5:45.”

Me: “Alright, I guess I could do that. I’ve never had to pay before. Are you sure that’s right?”

Pharmacist: “Have you? You should’ve been charged. Anyway, you have to pay now.”

(I leave, knowing I won’t be able to return home and back in time. I call my dad and ask him to collect it for me. He does so and gets it to me when he gets home from work.)

Dad: “Want to know why they wouldn’t give it to you?”

Me: “Why?”

Dad: “The other pharmacist was serving me. She read over your prescription and asked the woman who’d served you why she’d charged you, as your prescription form clearly said you’re 16. She looked mortified. Turns out, she’d misread the ‘9’ in your 9 months as ’19’!”

(Good to know these are the people handling our medicine!)

A Bitter Pill To Swallow
PHARMACY | WORKING | NOVEMBER 23, 2013
Me: “Hi, I’m here to pick up my prescription.”

Pharmacist: “What’s the name?”

Me: “[Name], that’s [N-A-M-E].”

Pharmacist: “[N-A-M-E]?”

Me: “Yes.”

Pharmacist: “We don’t have a prescription under that name.”

Me: “Could you look again? It should have been sent over from [School] this morning.”

Pharmacist: *without checking* “We don’t have it.”

Me: “Could you check your computers to see if you got the order?”

Pharmacist: *checks computer* “Oh! Yeah, we got the order. [Medicine] has been backordered for weeks, so no one has it.”

Me: “I see. So, you just didn’t fill the order?”

Pharmacist: “Yeah. We couldn’t.”

Me: “And you didn’t call the number in my file or my doctor to let them know the medication wasn’t available?”

Pharmacist: “We can’t just call EVERY person who orders this! That would take forever!”

Me: “So it’s better that EVERY person who needed that medication should come all the way down here just to hear that their prescription can’t be filled?”

Pharmacist: “Yeah.”

Me: *furious*

Mistaken Shaken Medication
PHARMACY | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 17, 2013
(I am counseling a customer who is receiving a prescription for her child’s strep throat. As she’s signing for the prescription, I give her directions on the medication.)

Me: “It needs to be shaken well.”

(All of a sudden, she starts shaking the electronic pen that is attached to the signature pad. After a moment she stops.)

Customer: “You meant shake the medicine, didn’t you?”

A Mother’s Duty
PHARMACY | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 12, 2013
Me: “Thank you for calling the pharmacy. How may I help you?

Customer: “Hi, my fiancè’s mother is incompetent, and I am going to be helping out with her medicines.”

(When she says ‘incompetent,’ I am thinking she might want to transfer the woman’s meds to our pharmacy, has a question about her drugs, or something of the sort.)

Me: “Okay, what can I help you with?”

Customer: “Since she is incompetent, I think she is going to need some kind of diaper or underwear. So, what do y’all sell there?”

This Story Just Drugs On And On And On
PHARMACY | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 9, 2013
(I work at a pharmacy, both as a tech and at the till when necessary. It is a Sunday, so the pharmacy is not heavily staffed. The sole customer waiting is a man, late 20s to early 30s, wearing a pink button-up shirt.)

Me: “Hello, sir. How can I help you?”

Pink Guy: “Six for [Name].”

(I search the current container and find five prescriptions. It’s not uncommon for a prescription to be put in adjacent containers if the proper one is too full, which this one likely was. I search the other containers but don’t find anything.)

Me: “One sec, I have to check the computer.”

(I check the computer. I do verify he has six prescriptions to pick up.)

Me: “Sorry about that. Can I verify the date of birth, please?”

Pink Guy: “What is this? You want my date of birth now?”

Me: “Yes sir, to verify the prescription.”

Pink Guy: “You guys never asked for that before.”

(I am roughly two years’ tenure in the pharmacy, and that has been a part of policy since day one.)

Me: “If I could just verify the date of birth to make sure there isn’t another person with the same name?”

Pink Guy: “It’s not very likely you’d have two people with the same exact name. I suppose you want me to verify my social security number in case someone has both my name and my birthday?”

(We actually do have two people with the same name and birthday.)

Me: “Not necessarily. I would go by address or phone number first.”

Pink Guy: “I’m not comfortable giving you my date of birth.”

Me: “I already have a date of birth here. I just need you to verify at least the month and the day.”

Pink Guy: *crossing his arms* “Fine. But just know that you’ve never asked me for this before and I’ve been coming here for years. It’s [birthday].”

Me: “Thank you, sir.” *check each of the prescriptions* “Okay. And I have all six prescriptions.”

Pink Guy: “Six?”

Me: “Yes, sir, six prescriptions.”

Pink Guy: “Not seven?”

Me: “Was there more?”

Pink Guy: “There should be one more.”

Me: “Okay, let me check the computer.”

(I go back to the computer, and re-enter him just to refresh the data. I verify each prescription that I have and make sure he doesn’t have another one that he usually refilled; none pop out.)

Me: “I only have six prescriptions for you, sir.”

Pink Guy: *with an inflection implying I’m a moron* “And there aren’t any for my wife?”

Me: “Oh, I see. It’s under another name.” *without asking him, I query by address, and find his wife. I see that she does have a pending prescription, but there’s a catch* “Did you call it in today?”

Pink Guy: “Yeah, I called it in this morning. It said it’d be ready tomorrow but I figured you guys would have it ready by now.”

Me: *explaining casually* “Well, not exactly. You see, when you call it in it actually gets picked up by an outside pharmacy and they fill it and ship it to us next-day. You did it through the automated system, right?”

Pink Guy: “Well, yeah. I’ve done it before and you guys had it ready.”

Me: “Well… I’m not sure about that time, but I do know the automated system tells you when the pickup is and then asks if you want it earlier; if you select that you want it earlier it sends it to us. Maybe that just didn’t go through this time.”

Pink Guy: “No, I just assumed you’d have it ready by now.”

(Well, at least he’s honest.)

Me: “Well, I’m sorry but we don’t. But I can pull it and we can fill it here. The pharmacist is out to lunch, but when he gets back in about ten minutes he’ll fill it right away. Do you have some shopping you could do or would you like to wait in the waiting area?”

(The pharmacist is behind the counter, but I’m not going to bother him unless I absolutely have to.)

Pink Guy: “No! I don’t have time for all of this crap! If you guys aren’t ready I’ll just waste my time and gas and get it tomorrow! I’m in a hurry!”

Me: “I’m sorry about that, sir.”

(I start scanning and bagging the prescriptions. He reaches across the counter at me to tear the bag away from me.)

Me: “Excuse me, just a sec, sir. I need you to verify the information on the screen.”

Pink Guy: “I thought you already verified everything. That’s why I gave you my date of birth!”

Me: “I need you to verify everything on the screen. Make sure all of the information is correct and hit ‘next’ in the lower-right of the screen.”

(Without looking at the screen, he hits the ‘back’ button at the lower-left.)

Me: *re-initializing the verification phase* “It’s the ‘next’ button on the lower-right, sir.”

(Second time’s the charm. He still doesn’t look at the screen.)

Me: “And if you could sign to verify you’ve picked up the prescriptions.”

Pink Guy: *mutters a signing-my-life-away cliche* “There. Are we done?” *extends his hand, expectantly*

Me: “Not quite. Your total comes to $20.”

Pink Guy: “Are you kidding me!? You make me go through all that and then you expect me to fork over $20? I have insurance! It covers everything! You must not have run it through, you idiots. Go check your little computer and you’ll see. I have never had to pay anything for my meds!”

(I go to the computer and refresh his information.)

Me: “It shows here we ran it through [Insurance]. They paid [amount] toward the prescription, leaving you with a co-pay of $20. The last time you got it, on [date], they paid [amount minus $20] and therefore you had a $40 co-pay. And you’ve had a $40 co-pay the last 3 times you picked this medication up.”

Pink Guy: “This is ridiculous! Whatever.” *pulls out his checkbook* “Can I get $100 cash-back?”

Me: “No, sir, the limit is $50. And, I’m sorry, but I don’t have enough in my till.”

Pink Guy: “Well… can’t you get more?”

Me: “I could, but it’d be faster for you if you just got a bottle of water and get cash-back up at the front.”

Pink Guy: *standing up defiantly* “I’m not making two transactions. I’ll wait.”

Me: “Okay. Your total is $70, and the date is [date].”

Pink Guy: “You said it was $20 before!”

Me: “Right. $20, plus $50 cash-back is $70.”

(He proceeds to write his check.)

Pink Guy: “Can I have my cash-back?”

Me: “I need to run the check first.”

(With a great show of impatience and contempt he tears the check out and hands it to me. It’s policy to verify the check by hand before running it through the feeder. Before even turning it my direction, I see he hasn’t signed it.)

Me: “Could you please sign the check?”

(He clicks his pen and makes a very dramatic and flourish display of signing the check.)

Me: “Thank you.” *I start to validate the check, the date is wrong by a few days* “I’m going to change it to today’s date and initial it, okay?”

Pink Guy: “Fine, whatever.”

(I check everything, saving the amount for last since I know it’s cash-back and I want to verify they match properly. But… there’s a problem.

Me: “Sir, I’m afraid I’ll need you to write a new check.”

Pink Guy: “What the he-why!?”

Me: “Because. You wrote the amount for $120, but the limit for cash-back is $50, and that’s how much I asked for.”

Pink Guy: “Well here!” *takes the check from me, scribbles all over it, and writes the new amounts in as tiny as he can above the errata* “There. You need my driver’s license?”

Me: “No, sir, I need you to write a new check. This one is illegible and I can’t accept it into my till.”

Pink Guy: “Screw you! Fine, forget the cash-back. I’ll just pay with my card.”

(He pulls the card out, and swipes it. But it’s too fast, I have to hit a button first.)

Me: “Okay, your card is ready to swipe.”

Pink Guy: “I already swiped it.”

Me: “I wasn’t ready in time, sorry. I have to hit a button for it to take. It’s ready now, though.”

Pink Guy: “The machine said it was ready!”

Me: “That’s the default screen. It always says that. I know it’s irritating. I wish they’d change it.”

(He swipes his card again, and poises with his pen. I expect him to start with the card transaction, but notice he’s still standing there after a second.)

Pink Guy: “Well?”

(I look at my screen, and realize it hasn’t taken the card still. I clear it and prime it again.)

Me: “Try it again, please?”

Pink Guy: “No! You’ll charge me twice!”

Me: “It won’t charge you twice. I promise. It only charges when you approve the amount and sign.”

Pink Guy: “If it charges me twice I’ll get you fired.”

Me: “I promise. It won’t charge you twice.”

(He poises with the card and practically stares me down as if judging the worth of my soul as he slides the card through. It’s then I notice the magnet strip is in his fingers.)

Me: “May I see your card, sir?”

Pink Guy: *apparently giving up, he responds less angrily than I expected* “Take it.”

(I take the card and swipe it through the correct way, setting it on the counter. Once again he poises with the pen, waiting for the prompt, and again, I notice it’s taking him a tad longer than other people. I look at the screen just as he comments.)

Pink Guy: “It’s still not doing anything.”

(I pick up his card, and take in a breath. It’s a ditch effort, but I enter the card number manually. No dice. I hand his card back.)

Me: “I’m sorry sir, your card won’t go through. Do you have another method of payment?” (It has been rejected.)

Pink Guy: “What the h***!” *literally throws the card at me, hitting my chest, and I catch it* “That’s a new f****** card! Of course it’ll take! Your computer is stupid!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir.”

(He leaves, and I continue the day setting any emotions aside to deal with for later. I put his credit card in with one of the scripts and make a note of it for whoever has to handle it. Later that week, the pharmacist, who had been sitting behind the counter that whole time, talks to me during a slow hour.)

Pharmacist: “Hey, [My Name], you remember Mr. [Pink Guy] from the other day?”

Me: “Yeah, what about him?”

Pharmacist: “His wife came by the next day. I did the transaction. She picked up all seven scripts. She didn’t say anything about the price. Paid with a perfect check, and got the $50 cash-back.”

Me: “So, she didn’t give you any trouble?”

Pharmacist: “No, not at all.”

Me: “Well, good. At least that whole thing happened on a slow day.”

Pharmacist: “Yeah. Anyway, here.” *takes a Barnes & Noble gift card from his smock pocket and sets it on the counter* “Consider this an apology from Mr. [Pink Guy].”

(The gift card was for $75.)

Needs To Take A Chill Pill
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JANUARY 29, 2013
(I’m at a chain company pharmacy/mini-stores getting a bottle of water. As I pass by the pharmacy, I witness an exchange between a very burly, muscular customer and a short, skinny female clerk.)

Customer: “I need to refill my prescription.”

Clerk: “Well, I’m sorry, but according to our systems, you have no refills left. You’ll need to contact your doctor and get a new prescription.”

Customer: “What?! I want my pills. Give me my pills!”

(The exchange continues for a while, with the customer getting more and more agitated. The clerk appears to be frightened and close to tears. The commotion is drawing the attention of the people around.)

Customer: “You dumb b****, are you f***ing stupid? Give me my pills or there will be a problem.”

(At this point, I step between him and the clerk behind the counter.)

Me: “Look buddy, she already said that she’s not giving you pills and told you what to do. So you better just listen to her, leave, and stop making an a** of yourself.”

(For a moment he looks like he is going to hit me, then just stomps away swearing under his breath.)

Me: *to the clerk* “I’m sorry you had to deal with that.”

Clerk: “It’s alright. Thank you for that. Here, that water is on me, okay?”

Paging Charlotte On Aisle 5
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JANUARY 16, 2013
(I am at the cashier, ringing up a long line of people. I notice when customers walk in, they suddenly skirt around the theft detectors. A lady approaches the counter.)

Lady: “There is a big spider in the entrance!”

(Note: I don’t want to leave the counter because of the enormous line.)

Me: “Okay, cool.”

Lady: “You have to kill it. You work here.”

Me: “It’s not hurting anyone.”

(The lady’s husband chimes in.)

Husband: “Kill it, she’s right!”

(Everyone in the line seems to agree with the lady and her husband.)

Me: “Okay, I’ll just move it outside.”

Husband: “No, kill it!”

Me: “No, it wont do any harm out there in the parking lot.”

(I move the spider outside.)

Lady: “I can’t take it anymore!”

Me: “Can’t take what?”

(Suddenly, the lady grabs a basket made for carrying products outside and finds the spider. She starts violently smashing the red basket on the spider.)

Lady: “Why is it not dying?!”

(It turns out the basket has little legs on the bottom, preventing it from making contact with the spider. She eventually figures this out and kills it, but not before it charges her one last time and causes her to flip out!)

You Got Dad’s Back
HEALTH & BODY, JERK, PHARMACY | RIGHT | MARCH 26, 2013
(I am eight years old. My mother, father, and I are all in the chemist to get some medication. My father has a rare spinal condition which is causing him to wobble when he walks, even with a frame. We’re waiting at the counter and hear a customer behind us make a remark under their breath; deliberately loud enough for us to hear.)

Customer: “Drunk at nine am; you should be ashamed.”

(We try to ignore it.)

Customer: “This is disgusting; you should be so embarrassed.”

(I don’t like this person being rude to my father.)

Me: “Watch your tone lady. If you’d bother to be polite and ask if my father is okay, you’d know he has a special illness that makes him this way. He’s not drunk; he’s my father, and I love him. Now apologize for being so mean about him.”

(She went red, stammered, and went down an aisle. The pharmacist gave me a lollipop.)

He Came First
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MARCH 19, 2013
(Two customers enter at the same time. One is a woman, and the other is a man in his 70s. I get their scripts ready. As the woman is done first, I send her up to the tills while I finish with the man. Since there is another customer at the tills, I end up putting the man through before the woman is served.)

Woman: “I was here first! How come he is served before me? What does he have that I don’t?

(The man responds without a second thought.)

Man: “Raw sex appeal.”

(If I was allowed to discount scripts, I would have given him his for free.)

High School Dropouts Work On The Pharm
PHARMACY | LEARNING | MARCH 12, 2013
(I work as a pharmacy tech at a chain pharmacy. I am also currently in pharmacy school and will be a pharmacist one day.)

Customer: “You should be ashamed of yourself!”

Me: “I’m sorry. Can I help you with something?”

Customer: “No! I refuse to be helped by a high school dropout! You should be ashamed of yourself for working where children can see you! You are going to make them think that it is okay to not have an education!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am not a high school dropout. I have a high school diploma and I am currently in pharmacy school working towards a Doctor of Pharmacy. I am going to be a pharmacist one day.”

Customer: “Stop lying! I have never heard of a pharmacist before. You are a high school dropout!”

Manager: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes! Your employee is lying to me! She says she is going to be a pharmacist! That job doesn’t exist!”

(The manager looks at our pharmacist who is near tears from laughing so hard.)

Manager: “Ma’am, see the man over there? He’s the one who filled your prescription. He is a pharmacist.”

Customer: “No he isn’t! He just counts pills! You don’t need school for that!”

You Can’t Make This Advice Up
PHARMACY | WORKING | MARCH 11, 2013
(I am buying some make-up for myself. I have oily skin and very mild acne, so my dermatologist has recommended using powder foundations. I’m a student working part-time so I can’t afford the high range stuff, but I still buy reliable branded products.)

Cashier: “Are you wearing this now?” *screws up her nose at my powder*

Me: “Um yeah, I always get that one.”

Cashier: “Well, you should get [famous brand] matte foundation instead. We’ve got it for like $80. I bought some myself.”

Me: “Oh thanks, but I can’t really afford it! I like this powder because I just want some light coverage for blemishes and it looks quite natural. And it’s on special for $38, which sounds good to me!”

Cashier: “Ugh, but you’re so pale, and I can see you’ve got some gross little pimples by your chin! This stuff is way better. See?”

(The cashier points at her own face. True, she doesn’t seem to have any acne showing, but she hasn’t blended it to her neck and consequently looks like she is wearing a mask. On top of this, she seems to have applied several layers of the stuff and a load of bronzer, so the makeup resembles orange cake mix, set off nicely with false eyelashes and bright blue eyeshadow.)

Me: “Oh, yeah it is quite nice… but I think I’ll stick with my powder.”

Cashier: “Whatever…” *rolls eyes* “You’ll find the cheap tanning sprays over in the corner!”

Mistaken Shaken Medication
PHARMACY | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 17, 2013
(I am counseling a customer who is receiving a prescription for her child’s strep throat. As she’s signing for the prescription, I give her directions on the medication.)

Me: “It needs to be shaken well.”

(All of a sudden, she starts shaking the electronic pen that is attached to the signature pad. After a moment she stops.)

Customer: “You meant shake the medicine, didn’t you?”

Don’t Ask What He Puts In His Granola
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MAY 3, 2013
(A customer comes in, and looks confused for several minutes.)

Me: “Sir, can I help you find something?”

Customer: “Where is the yogurt?”

Me: “All of our dairy products are in the cooler.”

Customer: “No, yogurt. You know, yogurt that you put under your arms.”

Me: “…you mean deodorant?”

Customer: “Yes, yogurt!”

Me: “…aisle four.”

Herd Behavior, Part 2
PHARMACY | ROMANTIC | APRIL 26, 2013
(I’m a 25-year-old Brony. I use a Brony lanyard with several Pony buttons on it to wear my name tag, and a wallet that has a short leather Rainbow Dash tail sticking out of my back pocket. I also have looks that some consider girly, and am often confused for a girl. I am serving a male customer who appears to be around my age.)

Customer: “Hi… I’m here to pick up my Dad’s prescriptions.”

Me: “Certainly, I just need the name and date of birth.”

Customer: “So, when do you get off?”

Me: “Uh… why?”

Customer: “Well, I was wondering if you might want to go out for drinks a little later.”

Me: “Whoa, buddy, stop right there. I’m probably not your type, anyway, since I’m a guy.”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, I can tell. I like your wallet by the way.”

Me: “Thanks. I’m a Brony, but, uh… I don’t really swing that way, man. I have a girlfriend; she actually gave me the bracelet as a gift.”

(I take out my wallet, and show him the picture of us in the front.)

Customer: “Oh! That’s a cute picture. That’s too bad.”

Me: “No big deal, though. I’m actually kind of flattered; you’re the first guy to hit on me thinking I’m a guy. Usually it’s some pervert that thinks I’m a girl. It’s usually one of those ‘anything that moves and has boobs’ types.”

Customer: “Hah! No way! Have a good one. Gimme a brohoof, and tell your girlfriend she’s lucky.”

(We brohoof, and he leaves. Thank Celestia for people who can take ‘no’ for an answer!)

Coworkers-In-Arms
PHARMACY | WORKING | APRIL 22, 2013
(When we get truck, they normally try and schedule it so at least one male is working to help, since the boxes are stacked up very high and often quite heavy. On this particular day however it’s me and the store manager who is notoriously lazy. I’m only five feet tall and he’s well over six feet.)

Store Manager: “[My name], I need you to start sorting the totes.”

Me: “I’m going to need some help.”

Store Manager: “There’s no reason you can’t do it!”

Me: “So, you think I should be able to scale the ladder, lift a bulky 35 pound tote and make my way safely back down?”

Store Manager: “Yes, why is that so hard?”

Me: “It’s not safe.”

Store Manager: “I don’t care how you do it. Just get it done!”

(He stalks off while I try and figure out how to do this. One of our pharmacy techs cuts through the backroom and sees me; I’m visibly upset at this point.)

Pharmacy Tech: “Hey, what are you doing?”

Me: “[Store manager] left me alone to try and get all these totes down.”

Pharmacy Tech: “Right, like that’s totally safe.”

Me: “He doesn’t care. I’m just trying to figure out the best way to do it to avoid not only hurting myself, but breaking anything.”

Pharmacy Tech: “Yeah, hang on…”

(He goes back into the pharmacy before reappearing and shucking his vest.)

Pharmacy Tech: “We’re slow, and like h*** I’m letting you do this by yourself. The pharmacist told me to go ahead and help you.”

Me: “Won’t you get in trouble?”

Pharmacy Tech: “I’d like to see him try and get me in trouble.”

(The tech helps me get the down so I can more easily sort the totes. After we’ve finished, the store manager shows back up.)

Store Manager: “I can’t believe you’ve only gotten this much done!”

Me: “Well, maybe if you were actually halfway competent you would have realized that you were supposed to be helping me! I’m one person, what exactly have you been doing all this time? Sit around on your butt texting in the office, most likely!”

Store Manager: “You can’t talk to me that way! I’m your boss!”

Me: “Not anymore!”

(I threw my name tag at him and walked out. Several other members of management called to try and get me to come back, but I refused. I found a job at another pharmacy and shortly later, my pharmacy tech buddy joined me there!)

Prescribing Perspective
PHARMACY | RIGHT | APRIL 16, 2013
Me: “How may I help you, ma’am?”

Customer #1 : “I’m picking up a script for [name].”

(I proceed to look it up. However, the system alerts me that we do not have anything ready.)

Me: “I don’t see that we have anything ready for you, ma’am.”

Customer #1 : “What do you mean, you don’t have anything! They called two days ago!”

Me: “I apologize, ma’am. If a prescription sits on our shelf for too long, we have to put it back on our stock shelf.”

Customer #1 : “It’s only been a week! That’s just stupid! Give me back my script! I’ll go to [rival store]! Only one week! Absurd!”

(I escort her to my co-worker, so that I may help the other customers in line.)

Customer #2 : “Oh, honey, I think I may have done the same thing and waited too long; can you check?”

Me: “Certainly, sir.”

(I check, and indeed his was placed back to stock as well.)

Me: “Yes, sir, I’m afraid so.”

(Customer #2 speaks loud enough for everyone to hear.)

Customer #2 : “Oh, shoot. IT’S PURELY MY FAULT FOR FORGETTING, EVEN AFTER Y’ALL WERE SO NICE TO CALL ME TWICE. Thank you, sugar; I’ll go talk to [co-worker].”

Prescription Affliction
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MARCH 27, 2013
(I am a pharmacy technician. The pharmacist receives a call.)

Caller: “This is Lisa; I am calling from Dr. [Name]’s office. I need to call in a prescription for a patient.”

Pharmacist: “Sure, what is the patient’s name?”

Caller: “It is [Patient].”

Pharmacist: “And the prescription?”

Caller: “It’s [narcotic], 90 pills, three times a day.”

Pharmacist: “Okay, thanks.”

(The pharmacist hangs up and turns to me, frowning.)

Pharmacist: “Do you know anything about this?”

Me: “What? No, why?”

(The pharmacist shows me the called-in prescription.)

Me: “Oh! Lisa was fired months ago. You had better call the police.”

(When Lisa came in to pick up the narcotic prescription for her boyfriend, the police were there to arrest her. The doctor she used to work for is my father; she was trying to use his license number to get pills from a dozen nearby pharmacies.)