A Pathological Vapo-Rub User
Chicago, Grocery Store, USA | Healthy | December 11, 2017
(I’m out grocery shopping, and I’m having trouble finding something, so I go to find a store employee. It’s worth noting that I’m a very petite blond woman in my early thirties.)
Me: “Excuse me, do you happen to know where the VapoRub is?”
Stocker: “Oh, yeah, it’s over here.”
(He hands me a tub of the stuff formulated for babies, and I thank him and immediately swap it out for a jar of the menthol mint formula.)
Stocker: “Ma’am, you don’t want to use that stuff with your kids. It’ll be too strong for them.”
Me: “Well, that’s good, because I don’t have kids.”
Stocker: “What’s it for, then?”
Me: “Cadavers. I’m a pathologist, and peppermint oil just doesn’t last through the workday. Water deaths, especially; you would not believe the smell…”
(The guy went sheet-white, and hurried away as fast as he could without running. I felt kind of bad, but it was definitely the funniest part of my day! My mentor always said that pathologists have the weirdest sense of humor…)
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