After This, She’s Gonna Need An Antidepressant
IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, MONEY, PHARMACY, STUPID | RIGHT | OCTOBER 26, 2008
Customer: “Hi, can I have some of those allergy medications that are behind the counter? The 24 hour kind.”
Me: “Sure thing…”
(I grab one, because law mandates that the computers only allow me to check out one 24 hour medication for a certain period of time).
Customer: “Oh, I wanted four. Can I have four, please?”
Me: “Sorry, I can only give you one. There’s a law that makes me check your ID on the computer. It won’t let me check out more than one for you, at least not in the 24 hour dose.”
Customer: “Well, can you at least try? If you’d TRY once in a while, you never know what you can do!”
Me: “All right, then…”
(I scan one and sure enough, the second won’t go through.)
Me: “Yup, it won’t let me check out the second one. Your total’s gonna be about 20 bucks.”
Customer: “Okay, now try the third one.”
Me: “What?”
Customer: “If the second one didn’t work, maybe the third one will.”
Me: “Ma’am, all four of these are exactly the same. If the second one didn’t work, what makes you think if I rang up another box of the exact same thing would work?”
Customer: “JUST DO IT!”
Me: “Okay… yeah… it’s not working.”
Customer: “Okay, now try the fourth one.”
(Suffice it to say it doesn’t work; after she buys her one box, she comes back about fifteen minutes later.)
Customer: “HOW DARE YOU SELL ME THIS EXPIRED MEDICATION!”
Me: “Err… what? I can guarantee you it’s not. I checked it before I gave it to you.”
Customer: “Oh yeah? Then what’s this? It says FEB 20!”
Me: “Yes… February… of 2020. Not February 20th.”
Customer: “Uh… well, I’m older than you and I probably make way more than you anyway, so I’m right. I’m 42 and I make $[amount] an hour!”
Me: “I’ll agree with you, you’re much older than I am. I’m only 26. But, ma’am, you are talking to a pharmacist. I make twice that. Oh, wait… I’m in overtime now… three times that. Actually, in the time it took me to help you, I just made one hour’s worth of your wage. Is there anything else I can do for you today?”
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