A Big Mayo No No, Part 2
Catering | Right | October 6, 2015
(I’m handing out boxed lunches at a construction site. A customer walks up.)

Customer: “How does this work?” *holds up a mayo packet*

Me: “Rip it open a little bit and squeeze it.”

Customer: *blank stare*

Me: “Tear the corner.”

Customer: *Blank stare*

Me: “Here, I’ll do it for you.”

(I tear off the corner and give it to him. The customer then bends over and holds the mayo packet in his hand the way you would a can of soda. It’s also upside down – so before I can say anything, he squeezes as hard as he can and sprays the mayo in his face.)

Customer: “HEY! This thing didn’t work!”

Me: “You held it upside down, sir.” *I hold out a napkin but he just glares*

Customer: “Your fault! Your mayo packet was broken!”

(I honestly wish he did that with a mustard packet…)