The Only Reaction We’re Having Is Annoyance
Health & Body, Patients, Stupid, Tennessee, USA, Vet | Healthy | November 9, 2018
(I work for a 24-hour emergency vet. It’s about one am; I usually get strange calls at this time of night.)

Client: “Hi. I was putting some flea medication on my dog and I think I’m having a reaction to it.”

Me: *thinking I misheard her* “Oh, he’s having a reaction to it?”

Client: “No, I am! My hands are breaking out, and I think my throat is getting tight.”

Me: “Oh! I’m sorry; you’ve called an animal emergency hospital!”

Client: “I know. You guys know what I need to take to fix it right?”

Me: “No, ma’am, you need to call 911 or go to your local emergency room; we only treat pets here.”

Client: “Well, that’s okay. If you guys treat pets, you know what I can take, right? I really wasn’t planning on going anywhere tonight; just tell me what medication you give to pets and I’ll just take a larger dose of it.”

Me: “Ma’am… I’m sorry, but we can’t give medication advice over the phone for pets, and we definitely can’t for people! You need to call 911 or go to the emergency room!”

Client: “You’re just being no help. Do you have a number I can call a different animal hospital? I don’t have Internet, so I can’t look up anything.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t give you another number for an animal hospital that’s open right now, but I would gladly give you directions to the emergency room closest to you! You definitely need to go to a hospital for people if you’re having a reaction, not animal hospitals.”

Client: “Fine, y’all are just no help! You know, you really should give better advice to people when they call; you are a hospital, you know! I guess I’ll just have to go to the hospital down the road and see if they can help me. I’m never calling you again!” *click*

(I was so mind-blown I had to sit and collect myself for a few minutes. She sounded like a normal, middle-aged woman, so I hope it was a prank call, but unfortunately I don’t think it was.)