He Officially Wins At Excuses
CHICAGO, FUNNY, HEALTH & BODY, ILLINOIS, MEDICAL OFFICE, USA | HEALTHY | JUNE 4, 2021
I graduated massage school in 1986 and promptly started working at a place in a very well-to-do town. We had acupuncture, chiropractic, and other modalities, as well as massage therapy.

I quickly developed a roster of regulars with standing weekly appointments. One particular fellow was my standing Tuesday 6:00 pm for years. He was always right on time, impeccably dressed, the model of a perfect executive. (Nice guy, too.)

But one Tuesday, [Regular] didn’t come in and didn’t call. With most people, I would have assumed they’d just flaked, but [Regular] had never flaked on anything in his life. I was concerned.

It turned out that [Regular] had gone in to have a lipoma removed — I knew he had it, of course — and during what should have been very minor surgery, his heart stopped. They had to resuscitate him.

He called the next day.

Regular: “Sorry I missed my appointment yesterday. I was dead.”

Best excuse EVER.