Manager #1 : “Well, you know, when there’s a lot of women working in one place—”

We’re all female excluding one male vet.

Manager #1 : “—we can get kind of catty. They may seem like that, but they’re really nice and caring people when you get to know them.”

I’m a little shocked by this, as I don’t think it’s right to say that in order to excuse their behaviour, but I don’t press it.

Manager #2 : “We’ve noticed you are having a hard time with some of the day-to-day duties. The other receptionists say you don’t pull your weight.”

Me: *Shocked* “I— What? I don’t understand. I don’t have any issues with that! I take out the garbage, mop and sweep, clean the exam rooms—”

Manager #2 : “Well, the girls feel that you don’t help out as much as they would like. They shouldn’t have to tell you to do these things.”

Me: “I’m not sure I follow. I offer to do tasks when it’s slow and I check in with them to see if there are other things that need to be done, if that’s what you mean? I just wanted to be sure we’re all on the same page with what we’re doing.”

Manager #2 : “We’re also thinking about the next couple of months ahead. You take the bus here, so what will happen during winter when the weather is bad? We need to know you’ll have a way to get here. We are remodeling for the next year and it’s going to get even busier and we’re concerned you won’t be able to keep up.”

Me: “I’m concerned, as well, since I haven’t finished my training yet. I’ve asked both of you when I can resume that but it never happened. I really think I need to finish the training.”

Manager #2 : “We don’t think it will help you improve at this point.”

Manager #1 : “We’re concerned with your performance. We need you to be up to standards that everyone else is at. If you can’t do that, you need to rethink your position here.”

I almost have a panic attack right then and there, but I manage to keep it in until the meeting is over and have an attack in the bathroom. This is also near the beginning of my shift, so I have a miserable time the rest of the day and night trying to keep it together.

I’m sure I’m going to be fired soon, so I go home and talk to my parents. They’re not much help and just say, “Keep your head up and do your work,” but in my mind, I’ve already been fired and let everyone down. I barely sleep that night and do my next two eight-hour shifts over the weekend, but I feel I’m doing so poorly that I want to walk out.

On my next day off, I seriously consider what I want to do. I haven’t been sleeping at all and when I do, I dream of being at work. I think about work when I’m off and when I’m hanging out with people. I’m obsessing over it and the fact that I’m not doing well, and it’s making my anxiety go out of control. I finally decide that, for the sake of my mental health, I have to quit. I walk into the clinic the next day with my company shirt and name tag.

Me: “[Manager #1 ], I’ve been considering what we’ve discussed and I’ve decided that at this time, this position is not right for me. I’d like to resign.”

She doesn’t look the least bit surprised and just takes my things and walks out. [Manager #2 ] walks in.

Manager #2 : “So, you’re leaving us?”

Me: “Yes. I don’t think this is the best place for me right now.”

Manager #2 : *Shrugs* “Well, it’s understandable. This is a really busy clinic and not everyone is suited to it.”

I wanted to scream “I don’t care that it’s busy! This is about you not doing your job to help me succeed!” but I bit my lip and left for good.

I heard an interesting story about the clinic later: apparently, I was hired after a previous receptionist left for another job, but once I started, she asked for her job back and returned to her normal hours. I’m pretty sure this was their way of slowly pushing me to quit because they either couldn’t afford another new receptionist or they didn’t need me. Maybe both.

My thoughts were confirmed when I saw they never relisted the position on job sites. Now I have no reference for the time I was there and it’s a huge eyesore on my resume. It’s making me reconsider if I even want to stay in the field.