This Cashier’s Number Is Up

Pharmacy | Michigan, USA | Working | June 9, 2013


(I am 20 years old at this time. Valentine’s Day is approaching, so I go out to the store to buy some fake wine and chocolates for my boyfriend.)

Cashier: “Oooh, a date for Valentine’s Day?”

Me: “Yep! We’re going out to dinner, and I thought I’d buy this stuff for dessert.”

Cashier: “Nice! Can I see some ID for the wine?”

Me: “Oh, that’s grape juice. It doesn’t have alcohol.”

Cashier: “No, I need to see your ID for the wine. I can’t sell it to you if you’re under 21.”

Me: “No, it’s sparkling grape juice. I’m 20 and I’ve bought it before. It doesn’t have any alcohol in it.”

Cashier: “I suppose I can let it slide for a pretty girl like you.”

Me: “Excuse me? First off, that would be illegal if this was real wine, and second, I just mentioned I have a boyfriend. It’s fake wine. Please just let me buy this and leave.”

Cashier: “No need to be like that. I’ll sell it to you.”

Me: “Thank you! What’s my total?”

Cashier: “Your phone number.”

Me: “What?”

Cashier: “I’ll give this to you for your phone number! I can take you out someplace really nice to eat, and then we can go back to my place if you know what I mean. I get free condoms for working here!”

Me: “Here’s $10. This should cover my purchases. I’m going to leave and pretend you didn’t just ask me to have sex with you in exchange for dinner and my groceries.”