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Not Listening Is A Disease
Hospital, Ignoring & Inattentive, LGBTQ, Minnesota, Nurse, USA | Healthy | January 19, 2018 (I’m in the ER with a dislocated shoulder.) Nurse: “Are you on any medication?” Me: “Synthroid, and I have an IUD.” Nurse: “Any major surgeries?” Me: “Appendix when I was 16, I had my thyroid removed last year due to cancer, and a few months ago I had a tumor removed from my foot.” Nurse: “Any history of thyroid issues?” Me: “Thyroid cancer, yes, last year.” Nurse: “Any history of cancer?” Me: “Thyroid. Cancer. Last. Year.” Nurse: “Any chance you’re pregnant?” Me: “No.” Nurse: “You’re married. Are you sexually active?” Me: “Yes, my wife and I are active.” Nurse: “Are you sure you’re not pregnant?” Me: “No, I’m married to a woman.” Nurse: “When was your last period?” Me: “When I got my IUD put in last year. I haven’t had one since.” Nurse: *disbelieving look* “So, you haven’t had a period in several months, but you’re not pregnant?” My Wife: “Oh, my. We are sexually active. We are married. Lesbians!“ (The nurse left. A few minutes later, a male nurse apologetically came in and asked for my history again. He was much better and joked that lesbianisim was the best birth control.) |
Very Bad Reception, Part 21
Canada, Lazy/Unhelpful, Medical Office, Quebec, Reception | Healthy | January 18, 2018 (There is a small medical clinic where I live. Usually, for walk-in patients, you get to the door very early, wait until they open it, then head for the desk, where you are assigned an appointment time for the day depending on the order of arrival. Usually, people behave and do not jump forward. Rarely, but sometimes, the clinic isn’t full, and going in mid-morning, you might still get a spot. It’s about 11, and I feel I might have a feminine infection. I stop by the clinic to see if there’s room.) Secretary: “I’m sorry. There’s a new phone system in place. Now you have to call in the morning and leave your name and phone number. Someone will call you back with the time of your appointment.” Me: “Well, I’m right here. Can’t you just give me a time?” Secretary: “No, you have to call.” Me: “Okay, fine.” (I make two steps to the side, pick up my cellphone, take the card she gave me with the phone number, and start dialing. The secretary looks at me.) Secretary: “What are you doing?” Me: “Calling for an appointment. You said I absolutely had to call.” Secretary: “Ugh… Okay, I’ll give you one.” (I believe she suddenly realized that I would have left my info on the answering machine, that she would have listen to it, then call me back with the time, all while I was standing in front of her.) |
Very Bad Reception, Part 20
Music | Working | April 21, 2017 (I work at a market research firm. Part of my job involves calling the manufacturers of high-tech devices to interview them. Some of the companies I call are very large, and others are quite small family firms. Some of the smaller companies have local radio stations on instead of hold music. Usually these are country music stations with ads about farm equipment. One time though:) Me: “Hello, this is [My Name] calling from [Company]. Could I be connected with [Project Manager], please?” Receptionist: “Sure thing. Please hold.” Me: “Okay.” Hold Music: *really loud gangsta rap* “MY MONEY AND MY HOES!” (I started laughing so hard I had to hang up and call back again |
Very Bad Reception, Part 19
Bosses & Owners, Jerk, Lazy/Unhelpful, Office, Spouses & Partners, UK | Working | November 27, 2017 Receptionist: “Hello, [Business].” Me: “Hi. Could I please speak to [Manager], please?” Receptionist: *click* (I phone again, thinking I was just disconnected by accident.) Receptionist: “Hello, [Business].” Me: “Hi, I think—” Receptionist: *click* (Knowing she actually cut me off this time, I phone back again.) Receptionist: “Hello, [Business].” Me: “Why do you keep cutting me off?!” Receptionist: “Because this is a cold call, and I’m told to hang up on them.” Me: “Actually, I’m [Manager]’s husband, and I’d like to speak to him.” Receptionist: “Yeah, right!” *laughing* “I’ve met his wife.” *click* (Having had enough, I decide to just drive down.) Receptionist: *smiling brightly* “Hello, welcome to [Business]. How can I help you?” Me: “I’d like to speak to [Manager].” Receptionist: “What reason do you have to speak to him? Do you have an appointment?” Me: “I’m his husband, and no.” (She realises who I am and sneers.) Receptionist: *sarcastically* “Really? You’re that desperate?” (Coincidently, my husband happens to walk by.) Husband: “[My Name]? What are you doing here?” Receptionist: “You know this degenerate?” *smugly* “I was just about to have him removed.” Husband: “What? Why? He’s my husband!” (The receptionist blushes and we stand in awkward silence for a few seconds.) Me: *to the receptionist* “You want to explain?” (The receptionist stammered through her explanation, with me inserting her claim that he had a wife after she neglected to mention it. My husband actually found it hilarious. She isn’t allowed near the phones anymore, though.) |
Very Bad Reception, Part 18
Medical Office | Working | December 14, 2016 (I’m not the best at keeping track of things on the calendar. I realize that I have not booked an appointment to get my daughter’s follow up vaccines, so I call one morning.) Me: “Hi, my daughter needs to get her booster shots. I’m afraid I’ve put this off by two months.” Receptionist: “No problem. You can bring her in this morning.” Me: “Oh! Perfect! Thanks! We’ll be in soon.” (She takes my daughter’s name and info. I hung up and began to gather what we’d need for our time out of the house. Just as I reach the front door with diaper bag, book, and baby, the phone rings.) Me: “Hello?” Receptionist: “Hi. This is [Receptionist] from [Doctor’s Office].” Me: “Yes?” Receptionist: “I’m afraid your daughter won’t be able to get her booster shots on a walk-in basis today as she is two months past schedule.” Me: “Oh, yes, I know we’re late. What should I do then?” Receptionist: “You’ll have to call for an appointment.” Me: “Can I make the appointment now?” Receptionist: “No. You’ll have to call to make an appointment.” Me: “Okay.” (I hang up, look up the number (this was before caller ID), and call the doctor’s office.) Receptionist: *same voice as before* “Hello, [Doctor’s Office]. [Receptionist] speaking. How can I help you?” Me: “Yeah, I’m calling to make an appointment for my daughter to get her booster shots.” Receptionist: “Oh, you don’t need to call for that. She can get them as a walk in.” Me: “No, I’ve put it off too long. I was told we’ll need an appointment.” Receptionist: “No, you can just walk in.” Me: “I was told by you that we’d need an appointment.” Receptionist: “No, you can just walk in.” Me: “You called me not three minutes ago saying we’d need an appointment.” Receptionist: “No, you can just walk in.” Me: “Okay, instead, I’ll be picking up my daughter’s medical records. We’ll be changing doctors. How soon can I get those?” Receptionist: “Changing doctors? Why?” Me: “Just please get the records together. I’ll pick them up in an hour.” (We did change doctors. Sad, because I liked that one. But dealing with the receptionist was more than I could take.) |
Hey, Google, What Kind Of Cancer Do I Have?
Connecticut, Extra Stupid, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | January 18, 2018 (I stop in a pharmacy to pick up some medication. I hear the following from a lady next to me.) Woman: “I want to buy this!” (She points at medicine on the shelf behind the pharmacist.) Pharmacist: “That’s prescription medication. You can’t buy that. I’m sorry.” Woman: “I NEED IT!” Pharmacist: “Okay, well, we still can’t give you the medication. You need a prescription.” Woman: “No! WEBMD SAID I HAVE CANCER AND I NEED THIS!” Pharmacist: “Ma’am, I recommend you see your doctor before you get a self-diagnosis off of the Internet.” Woman: “You’re a doctor! And I KNOW I HAVE CANCER!” Pharmacist: “Actually, I’m not a—” Woman: “YOU ALL WANT ME TO DIE OF CANCER! I AM REPORTING YOU TO THE POLICE!” (She then proceeds to run out of the store, knocking down several displays and screaming “I NEED PENICILLIN! I HAVE CANCER!”) Me: *mumbling* “How does she think penicillin will cure cancer, anyway?” Pharmacist: “That’s not even penicillin.” |
Các Bà Nghe Tôi Dặn Đây...!!
Hôm nay tôi họp gia đ́nh Có vài lời dặn..."các ḿnh" yêu thương ! Ngày mai tôi phải lên đường Về quê họp hội đồng hương mấy ngày . Các bà chú ư nghe đây Để rồi thực hiện mấy ngày ... vắng tôi . Kẻo mà khi vắng tôi rồi Các bà làm loạn ... xa rời kỷ cương ! Bà cả...nhớ phải ... làm gương Không được bắt nạt , coi thường...các em ! Giữ cho trong ấm ... ngoài êm Thay tôi quản lư ... gạo tiền ... thu chi ! Bà hai...trách nhiệm ... thứ nh́ Vắng tôi tuyệt đối cấm đi ... đánh bài . Thu vén nhà cửa ... trong ngoài . Chợ búa , cơm nước cả hai ... sáng , chiều ! Bà ba...hạn chế ... "on" nhiều Trên "phây" giờ lắm t́nh yêu ... lằng nhằng . Tháng này cước mạng ... mà tăng Tháng sau tôi sẽ cắt phăng ... 4G ! Bà tư...đang có ... con thơ Việc ǵ quá sức th́ nhờ ... chị em . Các bà c̣n lại ... phụ thêm Cấm được ca thán lèm bèm ... mất hay ! Bà năm ... từ trước đến nay Cũng v́ nhỏ tuổi tôi hay ... cưng chiều . Nên đừng cậy được ... tôi yêu Chành chọe các chị ... "cân điêu ... nói thừa" ! Các bà ... đă rơ cả chưa ? Ở nhà xử sự cho vừa ḷng nhau . Tôi đi chắc sẽ không lâu Cùng lắm cũng chỉ tuần sau ... tôi về . Bà nào không có ... vấn đề Khi về tôi thấy ô kê ... thưởng liền . Bà nào ... làm máu tôi điên . Th́ tôi "cấm vận" ngủ riêng ... một tuần ! 🤣🤣🤣 !!! Lượm trên mạng |
A Long Wait To See The Waiting Room
Awesome, Dentist, Germany, Reception | Healthy | January 18, 2018 (During all my childhood, our visits to the dentist go like this:) Receptionist: “Hello, Mrs. [Our Last Name], why don’t you and [My Name] sit down in examination room two? The doctor will be with you in a minute.” (Then, once, when I am thirteen:) Receptionist: “Hello, Mrs. [Our Last Name], why don’t you and [My Name] sit down in the waiting room for a moment? We’ll call you in.” (And that’s how I found out the dentist even had a waiting room. Scheduling level: genius.) 1 Thumbs 277 Share on Facebook Share on Reddit |
Her Hearing Is Going But Her Eyes Are Sharp As A Hawk’s
Bizarre, Golden Years, Health & Body, home, UK | Healthy | January 17, 2018 (I work in a local doctor’s surgery, running a clinic fixing hearing aids. I’m at home with my family when the doorbell rings. An elderly lady is standing outside.) Elderly Lady: “Hello, are you the hearing aid lady?” Me: “Yes…” Elderly Lady: *hands me a small package* “The hospital posted me a new hearing aid mould, but I don’t know how to fit it. I didn’t want to wait for the clinic.” Me: “How did you find me?” Elderly Lady: “I saw you going home and I recognised you. Can you put my hearing aid together?” Me: “Uh… sure.” (I do it on the spot; it’s a ten-second job.) Elderly Lady: “Thank you! Bye!” Me: *speechless* |
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415 Share on Facebook Share on Reddit 50 I Got 99 Problems, But My Age Ain’t One Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Doctor/Physician, Hospital, Ignoring & Inattentive, Nurse, UK | Healthy | January 17, 2018 (My mum had a stroke two weeks ago. As she was in the hospital at the time it was caught exceptionally quickly, and her doctors believe there will only be some short-term memory loss. I don’t believe there is any, for the reason I am about to tell you. I have dropped by to visit when there are several nurses and her doctor by her bed, arguing.) Mum: “See? There’s my son. Ask him if you don’t believe me!” Me: “What’s going on?” Doctor: “We believe it might be a sign of memory loss. You mother is adamant that her grandmother is still alive.” Me: “She is. She turns 100 next week. You met her last Friday before she was discharged.” Doctor: *stutters* “I…I see… She also believes that money has been stolen from her purse; £100 pounds to be exact. Can you confirm that she had this money in her purse while staying here?” Me: “Yes. It was for my great-grandmother’s birthday. She literally got it out of the ATM in the hospital’s atrium what, twenty minutes before she had her stroke?” (My mum nods.) Me: “In fact, that’s why I came around. She called me this morning to get a card.” (I shook the bag in my hand and the doctor blushed furiously at the realisation that everything my mum said was accurate. All the nurses then backed away, seemingly suspicious of each other. They never found the money, or figured out who stole it, but my mum demanded to be immediately moved to another hospital, and the nurses managed to pool together £100 themselves as compensation. My mum refused to take it, though, as she saw it as an admission that they collectively stole it.) |
Treating Depression With Tongue Firmly In Cheek
Doctor/Physician, Medical Office, Oklahoma, Punny, Tulsa, USA | Healthy | January 17, 2018 (On my most recent office visit, I get some coffee but am hustled into a room before I can mix in cream or sugar. I spot a container of tongue depressors and grab one to stir. The nurse chuckles a bit at my audacity, but it makes perfect sense to me; it’s just like any other wooden coffee stirrer. Then, I have a bright idea. A few moments later my doctor walks in:) Me: “I think I need Zoloft for my tongue.” Doctor: “Why is that?” Me: “It’s been depressed.” (I got the laugh I hoped for. Nice to have a doctor with a sense of humor.) |
Enough To Bring Tears To Your (Infected) Eyes
Arizona, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Jerk, Optometrist/Optician, USA | Healthy | January 16, 2018 (A customer comes in for a contact lens appointment. Their last appointment was nearly two years previous. They have an eye infection, so we bill them for a medical treatment visit.) Customer: “What is this charge here? I wasn’t charged for this last time.” Me: “Last time, you didn’t have an eye infection. We had to charge you a copay for that because of your medical insurance.” Customer: “You didn’t ask me before doing all that; you can’t charge me for it.” Me: “But you did want contact lenses, right?” Customer: “Obviously.” Me: “The doctor can’t give them to you until that eye infection is cleared up; that’s why this was a medical visit.” Customer: “Well, the eye infection was your fault, anyway.” Me: “Umm, but it was from over-wearing your contacts, correct?” Customer: “Yes, but that’s your fault.” Me: “Ma’am, you made a three-months supply of contacts last 20 months. I’m quite sure we didn’t recommend you do that.” Customer: “Well, the contacts are too expensive! I couldn’t afford enough of them.” Me: “Then, might I recommend you get glasses instead? We have a large selection of frames to choose from.” Customer: “Glasses make people look stupid.” Me: *laughs awkwardly, as all the other employees wear glasses, as do I* “Well, actually…” Customer: “I don’t want glasses; I want contacts, and I’m not going to pay for things I didn’t ask for. If you don’t want people to get eye infections, you need to sell contacts cheaper.” Me: “Ma’am, if you don’t pay for your visit, we cannot provide you with a prescription for contacts.” Customer: “That’s just unprofessional!” *pays and then flounces out of office* |
Bean There, Done Cat
Arizona, Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals, Silly, USA, Vet | Healthy | January 16, 2018 (I am playing with one of the clinic cats, Bean, and toss a toy to him. Unfortunately, I miss and hit him in the face, though he doesn’t seem to mind. Bean is cute, but he’s not the brightest cat ever. Later, I am telling the vet about it.) Me: “I feel kind of bad. I beaned Bean in the head with a toy.” Doctor: “That’s okay; there’s nothing up there, anyway |
The Needling Issue Doesn’t Have To Be
Hospital, Japan, Non-Dialogue, Nurse, Tokyo | Healthy | January 16, 2018 Due to a chronic condition, I needed to have a series of blood tests done, some of which required larger gauge needles than normal. I headed to the hospital closest to my apartment in Tokyo, waited to see the specialist, and got my notes to take to the blood draw lab reception. The intake nurses were a bit flustered to be treating me, but my Japanese was good enough that I got through the first steps just fine. Then, I headed into the blood test room and the nurse there started telling me that the tests would hurt, the needles are pretty big, etc., and that in Japan, they don’t use skin-numbing cream. I assured her that I’d be fine, but she didn’t believe me and stomped out of the room to find a nurse that spoke English, despite the fact that we had been conversing in Japanese just fine. I took off my cardigan, and my heavily-tattooed arms were now visible, right when the nurse came back, dragging a young doctor behind her. He looked at me and said to the nurse, “I think she’s okay with needles,” then burst out laughing as the nurse just gawked at me. Turns out I was the first foreign patient she’d ever taken blood from and she was terrified I’d flip out or faint because of the needles |
No, There’s Not An App For That
Extra Stupid, Michigan, USA, Vet | Healthy | January 15, 2018 (I work for a vet clinic.) Me: “[Clinic]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?” Customer: “Yeah, my dog is coughing. Do you know why?” Me: “Well, that could be any number of reasons. You’d really need to come in for us to know.” Customer: “Oh, so, you can’t diagnose over the phone?” Me: “No?” |
The Bone Isn’t The Only Thing Broken Around Here
Hospital, Ignoring & Inattentive, Nurse, Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh, USA | Healthy | January 15, 2018 (I fall in my house while holding my two-year-old. As I fall, I turn my body to hold her against the wall so I do not crush her, and as a result, end up with a spiral fracture on my fibula, and a broken and dislocated ankle. When I arrive at the hospital, they try to wrench my ankle back into place but don’t quite align it, so they have to do it again. Of course, this time I know it’s coming, so they decide to use some sort of anesthesia that is meant to make the patient woozy and forget what happened. I’m concerned about whether this will work, and express that concern to the nurse preparing me for the injection.) Nurse: “Don’t worry; you won’t remember a thing! It probably won’t hurt, either.” Me: “Can’t you just use this with some actual pain medicine, too?” (The only pain medicine I’ve received at ALL has been two doses of Fentanyl administered by the paramedics, an hour ago. Fentanyl at the dose I was given lasts 20 minutes, tops.) Nurse: “Look: you won’t remember, and you won’t feel anything. The only time you might feel something is if I pricked you with a pin, or something!” *he says this as though he’s a genius for thinking of this persuasive argument* Me: “You mean like the kind of pain I’d feel if someone was moving around my dislocated ankle?!” (I remembered everything. They also acted like they were doing me a massive favor in keeping me overnight instead of sending me home with three broken bones before surgery the next day. I finally got pain medicine six hours later at the room they begrudgingly gave me, and the call button didn’t work! I had to call my own room phone number with my cell phone and let it ring until a nurse came, because I couldn’t find the nurse’s station phone number!) |
Got A Triple Of Problems With Your Diagnosis
Chicago, Illinois, Medical Office, USA | Healthy | January 15, 2018 (I’m at my ob-gyn office for a prenatal check-up. I’ve been going to this office for six years. A doctor I’ve never seen before walks in.) Doctor: “You’re here to renew your hormonal birth control prescription?” Me: “No?” (I’m just entering my third trimester with triplets. He could see my belly if he’d look up from his phone. You could see my belly from the other side of the state at this point!) Doctor: *looks confused for a second but still doesn’t make eye contact, instead condescendingly says* “You are aware that condoms aren’t 100% effective, right?” Me: “Gee, I wish you’d told me that seven months ago…” (He finally looked up and tried to pass it off as there being another patient in the office right that minute with my very unusual first and last name.) |
That’s What I (N)Said
British Columbia, Canada, Pharmacy | Healthy | January 14, 2018 Customer: *holding a box of OTC medication* “Excuse me. My wife is allergic to the Niacide family.” Me: “Pardon? Do you mean NSAIDs?” Customer: “No! NIACIDES!” (I give him a puzzled look.) Customer: “You know, ibuprofen and stuff!” Me: “Right… NSAIDs.” Customer: “Oh, whatever. Can she take this or not?” (Then he showed me a box of acetaminophen.) |
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242 Share on Facebook Share on Reddit 0 Pregnancy Brain Affects The Men Even More Hospital, Indiana, USA | Healthy | January 13, 2018 (My cousin is a nurse. One of the doctors, male, at the hospital where she works has gotten a few complaints for dismissing women complaining about certain symptoms as “pregnant.” One day she’s talking to a fellow nurse and another doctor, female, in the hallway, when they hear this from a nearby room:) Patient: “HALLELUJAH! I’M PREGNANT WITH THE SECOND COMING OF JESUS!” (My cousin and her coworkers exchange looks as an energetic and loud speech about “virginal conception” and “accepting my heavenly duties” sounds from the room.) Cousin: “Isn’t [Doctor #1 ] in there right now?” Nurse Coworker: “He just wrote someone off as pregnant again, didn’t he?” Doctor #2 : “Ladies, let’s roll.” (She went in and took over the rest of the exam while my cousin and her coworker escorted the other doctor out. She said the look on his face was priceless! Needless to say, the story quickly spread around the hospital staff, and the doctor in question got in some trouble with the higher-ups thanks to this and the previous complaints. It’s been two months now, and he has yet to dismiss another woman’s complaints since then.) |
Pray That Incompetence Isn’t Airborne
Florida, Hospital, USA | Healthy | January 12, 2018 (I am doing clinicals at the hospital as part of my certified nursing assistant (CNA) program, on the communicable disease ward. I enter at patient room. Now, in this program students aren’t even allowed in the rooms of any patients with airborne contagious diseases. It is also a rule of the hospital that signs be placed on the front of the door along with masks for airborne diseases. I’m making my rounds and enter a room where the patient is sleeping, and grab the chart. He has a serious infectious airborne. I backtrack out of the room and look at the door. No sign, no masks. I approach my teacher about this, and then the head nurse.) Me: “I read the chart in 334—” Nurse: “You shouldn’t be in 334. He’s airborne and you’re a student.” Me: “That’s why I came to you. There is no—” Nurse: “Why were you in there? You could get seriously sick.” Me: “You assign—” Nurse: “It doesn’t matter what I assigned you to. You should know the rules. That’s why I hate working with students. Too stupid to even notice the sign on the door.” (Now I’m irritated at the interruptions as well as the insinuation of stupidity.) Me: “Look, lady, I’m not dumb; I’m top of the class. If you’d let me finish a sentence, I could tell you–” Nurse: “Oh, God. If you’re top of the class, I’d hate to see—” (I finally snap and interrupt her.) Me: “And if you’re the head nurse here who is in charge of making sure people are doing their jobs so patients don’t die, I’d hate to see your mortality rate. As I was saying before, there is no sign, no masks, nothing on the door to indicate airborne. There aren’t masks inside or out. As the head nurse, shouldn’t you know this? You assigned me three rooms. When I said the room number you immediately knew he was airborne without pulling a chart. One could figure you knew this upon assigning my rooms, and ignored the rules, or have come across this information since, and rather than changing my assignment, or at least informing me, you just let it go.” Nurse: “I shouldn’t have to tell you not to enter an airborne room. Now you say you went in without a mask?” Me: “You should be sure that airborne is indicated as per the rules.” Nurse: “You’re rude to me. You make a mistake then you’re rude to me. Your teacher will hear about this. Go work on your other patient rooms.” Me: “My teacher has already heard about this. From me. And I’m not going to work with other sick people when I may have been contaminated. I’m going to tell my teacher I’m going home. I’d suggest you get a d*** sign and masks on that door before you get someone killed.” (I go to my teacher and fill her in on the conversation. My teacher said she would deal with it, I should go, and to be sure to get tested as well. Then she says this…) Teacher: “Maybe don’t apply to work here?” |
Doctors Need To Have Patience With The Patients
Florida, Nursing Home, USA | Healthy | January 12, 2018 (I am a student in a Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA) program doing rotations in a nursing home shadowing a CNA working there. This patient is not part of our assigned rooms but is screaming for help. I ignore it at first, as I’m literally surrounded by medical professionals and figure her CNA or nurse will be in soon. Instead it carries on.) Me: “Shouldn’t we check in on her?” CNA: “She’s not ours, and she’s always like this. She just wants attention.” Me: “Okay.” (Ten minutes later, she is still screaming for help. Nobody is paying attention, and my CNA goes to do something without me. So since I have a 15-minute break without anyone to shadow, I decide to check on the woman. If she just wants attention, no harm done, I can talk a few minutes.) Me: “Hi, I’m a student. Can I help?” Patient: “My stomach.” Me: *picks up chart* “How does your stomach feel?” *I look at the page detailing all she has ate and drank and any output, or waste, that day, thinking it’s an upset stomach* Patient: “It’s exploding.” Me: “That’s awful.” (Then I notice she’s on a catheter, but no urine output has been recorded on her otherwise detailed chart. I look at her cath bag, and there is no urine in it. For those who don’t know much about caths there is always something. The body is constantly producing urine, and with a cath it drains straight off. This seems dangerous to me.) Me: “I’m going to get you some help.” (To the nurse at the station.) Me: “The patient who has been screaming, I just checked in with her.” Nurse: “She wants attention. Ignore it.” (I find my teacher.) Me: “This patient isn’t mine, but she’s been screaming. I keep getting told she’s attention seeking, but she has a cath and no output.” Teacher: “I’ll check her.” (I go about my day, and right before the students meet with the teacher for end of the day, I check in with the patient and she starts crying and thanking me profusely, saying nobody else listens, and I helped, and now she is ok. I note there is urine output in the bag. I go on to meet my class, and my teacher starts our reporting. As her final note:) Teacher: “Oh, and [My Name] saved a woman’s life today!” Me: “I did?” Teacher: “Her catheter was misplaced. She had no urine output. You noticed while everyone else ignored her. When I placed her catheter correctly, the bag overflowed. Her bladder was close to bursting, which could have been serious or even killed her. Let this be a lesson, class: don’t ignore a patient just because they aren’t yours or want attention.” |
Eating In Reverse
Hospital, Ohio, USA | Healthy | January 12, 2018 (I am in the ER waiting to be treated for a severe migraine with EXTREME nausea. In the next cubicle is a man who apparently had a blockage in his digestive system. A stomach pump has just begun when I am shown to my cubicle. I am very happy not to have been an “ear-witness” to the tube insertion!) Female In Next Cubicle: “Oh, look! There’s a jelly bean! And that must be the chicken from dinner!” (She continued describing every morsel being pumped from his stomach. My nausea increased to the point that I vomited on the floor near the curtain. She wasn’t as excited about seeing what I had eaten. It stopped her narrative, though.) |
Benzo Combo No No
Pharmacy, USA, Virginia | Healthy | January 11, 2018 (I work in a popular chain pharmacy/convenience store as a pharmacy technician. It is a week before Christmas and patients are swarming in to get medications refilled before they depart for the holidays. I’m currently working at a prescription filling station that is directly across from where the pharmacist verifies them, allowing us to talk as we work. Another technician takes in a couple of prescriptions and preps them for data entry; however, when the pharmacist spots them, he immediately sees a problem.) Pharmacist: “Whoa, I am not filling this.” Other Technician: “Why, what’s up?” Pharmacist: “This drug combo, carisoprodol, benzo, and an opiate…” Me: “Bad combo?” Pharmacist: “It’s outright lethal. I need to speak with the patient.” (We try to page the patient back to the pharmacy via the store intercom, but it appears that they’ve already left. The pharmacist decides to contact the doctor who prescribed the drug trio to alert them to the potentially fatal consequences. He immediately identifies this doctor as being a sketchy one that he has dealt with in the past. Nonetheless, he steels himself for the call and gets him on the line.) Pharmacist: “Hi, I’m calling because of a couple of prescriptions that you’ve prescribed for [Patient]. When taken together these drugs are a potentially lethal combo. I wanted to see if perhaps we could if we could get the carisoprodol switched to, say Flexeril.” Doctor: “There’s been no issues in the past.” Pharmacist: “Right… but you are aware that is THE Unholy Trinity of drugs, correct? If nothing has happened previously then great, but all it takes is a single time or misstep and the patient is going to die. I highly suggest a switch here.” Doctor: “I don’t want to do that.” Pharmacist: *blinks* “So, just so we’re on the same page, you want to knowingly prescribe this potentially deadly combo to the patient, rather than switching?” Doctor: “I’ve already discussed it with the patient. It’s fine.” Pharmacist: “Okay, well, I’m going to notify the patient of your decision and make them aware of what’s going on here. I need to cover my bases.” Doctor: “All right, sure.” (The pharmacist was shocked by the nonchalant nature of the doctor, but decided to follow his gut instinct and not fill all three scripts. While there are noted instances of patients taking these drugs together, they are few and far between, and the benefits do not outweigh the risks; finally, the sketchy nature of the doctor meant that the pharmacist was less than comfortable doing so. He notified the patient of the situation (who seemed more disappointed with the fact that we wouldn’t fill all three drugs than with the fact that the combo was lethal) and wrote a note on the prescription stating that it was denied as well as our contact number should the patient try to have it filled elsewhere.) |
Even The Paperwork Is Making Assumptions
Hospital, USA | Healthy | January 11, 2018 (I have a concussion and am getting a CT scan. The tech hands me a waiver where I sign that I’m not pregnant. I have to check a reason that I know this. I look up and down the list, and see reasons such as “I’ve had a hysterectomy,” “I’ve had tubal ligation,” “I had a negative pregnancy test done in the hospital today,” and “I have gone through menopause.” I don’t see one that describes my situation so I draw a box at the end of the list, and write, “I’m a virgin.” I check my box, sign it, and hand it back to the tech.) Tech: “Do we really not have an option for that? Wow.” |
This Is Not A Test(es)
New York, USA, Vet | Healthy | January 11, 2018 (I work as a receptionist in a small, single-doctor veterinary practice. A first-time dog owner drops off his 6-month-old male Golden Doodle to be neutered. The surgery is routine, and the dog goes home that evening. I get this phone call the following day.) Me: “Good morning. [Veterinary Hospital]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?” Client: “This is [Client]. I brought Fluffy in to be neutered yesterday. Did you also remove his testicles?” Me: “Pardon me?” Client: “Did the doctor remove Fluffy’s testicles yesterday when he was in to be neutered?” Me: “Y-yes. That’s what the procedure is.” Client: “I wish someone had explained that to me before I agreed to the surgery. Dr. [Name] only said Fluffy would be castrated, not that his testicles would be removed.” Me: “…” |
They Get Sex, You Get Fish
Canada, Clinic, Manitoba, Winnipeg | Healthy | January 10, 2018 (My husband and I had decided to go on a trip to the Dominican Republic with another couple. This couple is about 10 years younger than we are and more attractive. When we go to get our vaccinations before the trip, this happens.) Nurse: *to the other couple* “Now, you two weren’t planning on getting up to anything naughty with the locals, were you?” Male Friend: *grinning* “Like what?” Nurse: *wags finger coyly* “You know what I mean. No sexual activity, okay? You could catch something that these shots won’t prevent.” Female Friend: “Don’t worry, we won’t.” Nurse: “Good to know. Have fun. Next!” Me & My Husband: “That would be us.” Nurse: *suddenly very business-like* “I have a warning for you two, as well.” Me: “Don’t have sex with the locals?” Nurse: “What? No, I was going to warn you not to eat the fish. It might make you sick.” (As we walked away, my husband said “I feel vaguely insulted and I’m not sure why.”) |
Would Have Thought That Was Obvious
Hospital, Melbourne, USA, Victoria | Healthy | January 10, 2018 (I go to get an internal ultrasound due to some gynecological issues. The place I’ve been referred to is specifically for women’s ultrasounds and while they do things for not-pregnant women, most of their work is women who are trying to get pregnant, currently pregnant, or just had a baby. They need to check off a couple of things before they start and the technician is going through my file notes.) Tech: “I see here that you have the copper IUD.” Me: “Yeah, I got it about six months ago.” Tech: “Why do you have one?” Me: “…because I don’t want babies?” Tech: *laughs* “Yeah, that was a stupid question. I meant copper was an unusual choice. Why not the [Brand]?” |
Their Attitude Is Nothing But A Puff Of Air
Medical Office, USA | Healthy | January 10, 2018 (This is back when the “puff of air” type of glaucoma test was still common. I am 13 or so at this point and have a very strong blink reflex, as well as anxiety that makes me very uncomfortable in medical offices, meaning I have a bad startle reflex, as well. My dad has warned me that the glaucoma test is unpleasant, so I make a request of the nurse doing the test.) Me: “Can you please count down before you shoot the air? I’ll jump really badly otherwise.” Nurse: *dismissively* “Uh huh, got it.” (I’m shaking like crazy when I put my eye up to the machine but trust that the nurse will honor my request. I hear her making some adjustments, and then suddenly she shoots me with the air and I nearly fall out of my chair.) Me: *startled and close to tears* “You said you’d count.” Nurse: “I can’t; you’d move away if you knew when it was coming. Oh, come on, you jumped so fast my results got messed up, so we’ll have to redo that eye.” (She has to do the test three times on one eye and two on the other because I keep jumping so badly. By the time she finishes, I am a wreck and terrified of coming back the next year. Fortunately, shortly after that they raise the minimum age for the test to 18, but when I reach 19 and have an appointment at a new practice I’m still petrified at the thought of the test.) Me: *to the nurse* “Is there any way I can opt out of the glaucoma test? I don’t have a family history of it and I’m not old enough to be at risk yet.” *I explain my bad experience from years earlier* New Nurse: “Oh, don’t worry, we actually don’t use that version of the test here. It’s not as accurate, anyway.” (The new version involves numbing drops and having the eye touched with a small instrument, and I didn’t feel a thing. The new nurse said the other woman had no reason not to count down for me.) |
Childish Behavior
Dentist, UK | Healthy | January 9, 2018 (I arrive for a dentist appointment to have some X-rays of my jaw. I am sitting in the waiting room for around 10 minutes when I am called through.) Dentist: “Okay, sit yourself back down and we’ll take a look.” (She starts feeling around my gum line. I’m not sure why, but just assume it has something to do with the X-ray.) Dentist: “How does that feel?” Me: “What do you mean?” Dentist: “Is it numbed up yet?” Me: “No?” Dentist: “Hmmm. We can’t give you any more anaesthetic today. We’ll give it another few minutes.” Me: “Umm, you haven’t given me any anaesthetic.” Dentist: *turns back to computer* “Are you [Name]?” Me: “No, I’m [My Name].” Dentist: “Oh, you’re my next appointment. Looks like [Assistant] called you in by mistake.” (I was sent back out and the other patient is called in — a young girl, while I’m a 27-year-old man. I was honestly so shaken by how the dentist didn’t realise the difference that I left and forgot the appointment. I didn’t go back for another two years until the pain in my jaw reached unbearable, at which time most of the staff had been replaced (including my old dentist). I had to register again, but I was put with someone more competent. I got my X-rays and found out I have temporomandibular disorder. I was sent to my GP (which admittedly I should have gone to initially) and prescribed antidepressants to try and relax the muscles. I put myself through two years of additional pain because I was mistaken for a child.) |
Both Ends Of The Insides
Medical Office, USA | Healthy | January 9, 2018 (I’m at my annual check-up, discussing heartburn.) Doctor: “With patients your age, I try to schedule upper GI exams with colonoscopies, to take a good look from both ends while you’re sedated.” Me: “Makes sense.” Doctor: “Different scopes, though, for either end! No sharing allowed!” |
89 And Feeling Fine
Columbia, Medical Office, South Carolina, USA | Healthy | January 9, 2018 (My dad, who is in his late 80s, goes in for his yearly check up.) Doctor: “Well, Mr [Dad], Everything looks good except the fact you have gained a little over 10 pounds since I last saw you.” Dad: *sighs* “Does that mean I have to go on a diet? With Christmas coming up it’s going to be hard. My daughters, grandchildren, and son are all great cooks and they always make all sorts of yummy things for me for gifts.” Doctor: “Sir, you are 89 years old. I wish my blood pressure was as good as yours. Your cholesterol is perfect, your blood sugar is perfect, your heart is as healthy as any 30-year-old, you can see perfectly with a little help of glasses for reading, you take NO medication of any kind, not even aspirin. You walk. Frankly, I wish I was in as good of health as you are and I am over 35 years younger. Honestly, at this point in your life, I vote you just eat anything and everything you want. You obviously are doing just fine.” (Dad really loves his doctor and he enjoyed Christmas thoroughly!) |
A Large Cavity In Their Diagnosis
Arizona, Dentist, USA | Healthy | January 8, 2018 (Recently I’ve had some tooth pain on the lower left jaw which prompts going to the dentist. As I have severe anxiety and my medication causes some dry mouth, it’s necessary to inform the dentist about it. Note that I’ve had anxiety since about thirteen and am now in my twenties.) Dentist #1 : *after having done nothing more than look in my mouth* “Do you have any medical conditions?” Me: “I have anxiety.” Dentist #1 : “Okay, so, when you have anxiety and stress you can grind your teeth and since you have some gum disease you must be creating a sore spot. I’m not seeing any evidence of grinding, but let’s go ahead and get you treated for gum disease. We’ll need to schedule four [Expensive Treatments].” (He then leaves, ‘finished’ with his exam, and cannot be found when I go to leave. I am furious that he’d brushed it off as being my anxiety, and I promptly found another dentist who was able to get me in quickly.) Dentist #2 : *having spent a good ten minutes poking and prodding the teeth along my left side* “Okay, and do you have any medical conditions?” Me: “I have anxiety and take medication for it.” Dentist #2 : “Do those medications cause any dry mouth or irritation?” Me: “A little dry mouth.” Dentist #2 : “Okay, that’s probably contributed to the little bit of gum disease I’m seeing, but that can be fixed with a deep cleaning. The biggest problem I’m seeing is that you have a wisdom tooth with a massive cavity. It is possible that wisdom tooth is transferring the pain down to here—” *indicating exactly where I’d showed him it was hurting earlier* “Pulling that should help. We can do either pulling, the cleaning, or do them both today.” Me: “What about the teeth grinding?” Dentist #2 : “What teeth grinding?” Me: “Another dentist told me it was just my anxiety making me grind my teeth.” Dentist #2 : “Did he mention the grand-canyon sized cavity in the wisdom tooth?” Me: “No.” Dentist #2 : “Then you might want to never go there again. That was the first thing I saw, and I can’t find a trace of teeth grinding.” (I ended up getting the wisdom tooth pulled and aside from the pain of having said tooth pulled, my mouth felt better! He also prescribed some antibiotics to help prevent infection from the cavity and that would help clear up some of the gum disease. The cleaning is scheduled for a few weeks from now to give my mouth plenty of time to heal. He also recommended I look into a dry mouth rinse and asked if there were any special procedures to keep in mind for my next appointment because of my anxiety. It just goes to show that looking at the entire problem and not just a small part of it can fix things a lot faster and easier!) |
What A Bloody Fiasco!
Indiana, Indianapolis, Medical Office, Non-Dialogue, USA | Healthy | January 8, 2018 My mom is having some blood tests done. The technician takes the sample and has my mom put pressure on her arm for a few minutes. Mom then puts on her coat, leaves the office, and heads for the elevator. When the elevator arrives, the woman inside looks at my mom and shouts, “LADY!” Mom looks down and sees blood running down her arm and hand. She goes back to the doctor’s office, where the staff bandage her arm, clean her coat as best they can, and make her wait half an hour to make sure she’s OK before sending her home. The next morning, she gets a call from the doctor’s office. “Could you come in again today? The driver who came to pick up the samples yesterday dropped and broke them all.” |
Taking Them All Into Custard-y
Hospital, UK | Healthy | January 8, 2018 (I am in hospital for a suspected concussion. It is lunch time and I have ordered some custard. I am about to start eating it when a nurse on the ward comes up to me.) Nurse: “Sorry, [My Name], but you can’t have that.” Me: “Why not?” Nurse: “It doesn’t meet his dietary requirements.” *points to patient on other side of the ward* Me: “It doesn’t meet his?” Nurse: “No.” Me: “Well, it meets mine.” Nurse: “That’s not how it works.” Me: *looking around* “Two other people have ordered custard, too. Are you going to take theirs as well?” Nurse: “…” *walks away* (I asked the head nurse about it later, and she told me that she does it repeatedly through the week with the head trauma patients, and secretly eats it herself. They’ve found her in the wet room several times, sometimes with multiple servings. They’ve all tried to complain, but whenever she’s at risk of losing her job, she claims to be of [Country] descent, which seems keeps the higher-ups at a distance, cautious of racial discrimination claims.) |
Don’t Need X-Ray Vision To See What’s Wrong
Phone, UK | Healthy | January 7, 2018 (I have requested copies of a recent chest X-ray, as for whatever reason therapist has been unable to receive them. I have decided to just to pay for them, as overall the process is easier and faster. Curious, I decide to look at them once they arrive, and end up calling the department again.) Me: “I’ve just looked over these X-rays and they aren’t mine.” Person: “I’ll just put you onto the technician; he usually handles requests.” Technician: “I doubt you would understand the difference between yourself and another person in terms of an X-ray, so I must disagree. They are yours.” Me: “Are you looking at them now?” Technician: “Yes.” Me: “And you don’t see anything odd, like breasts?” Technician: “…” Me: “Or, nipple piercings?” Technician: “Let me just check that for you.” *mumbles* “Who the h*** has an X-ray with nipple piercings in?!” Me: “I don’t know, but I trust this matter will be resolved quickly.” Technician: “Of course. I will ring you back later today.” (He didn’t ring back, and I ended up ringing up every day for weeks before I could get through to him. He finally, and begrudgingly, admitted that my X-rays had gone missing and I needed to come in for more. I assume he must have discovered they were missing, and decided to just send out someone else’s instead. I was horrified by the whole experience, and had my therapist request I have the X-rays done elsewhere. I submitted a formal complaint, but I don’t know if anything happened as I have put myself at distance from them.) |
Should Have Been A Better Pupil
Canada, Medical Office, Saskatchewan | Healthy | January 6, 2018 (I’m in high school, having dinner with my first girlfriend and her family, when her mom leans over to me.) Girlfriend’s Mom: “Did you know your pupils are different sizes?” Me: “…no?” Mom: “Have you been in an accident? Hit your head recently? This is really serious!” Me: *starting to get freaked out* “N-no, nothing like that!” Mom: “You NEED to get this checked out! You might have a brain tumour!” (I go home and tell my mom, who makes me an ophthalmologist appointment, but the soonest I can get in is in a month. I spend that month terrified I have cancer. Finally my appointment arrives, and they run a barrage of tests on my eyes.) Doctor: *casually* “You know; I’m still going to dilate your pupils just to make sure; about 25% of people’s pupils are just naturally different sizes.” (I’m glad everyone was concerned and thorough, but they couldn’t have told me that earlier? More than ten years on, my pupils are still different sizes.) |
There Will Be Blood
Blood Donation, USA | Healthy | January 5, 2018 (I’m donating blood, and the donor phlebotomist is an absolute klutz. We’re in a donor bus (like a camper that they park at places to have mobile donor drives) and she keeps on knocking into other phlebotomists, dropping things. She has just finished freaking out that she started another donor at just the wrong time, and she’ll have to start his and stop mine at the same time. She comes over to take out my needle, bumbles for a bit, and then pulls it out, leaving a trail of blood down my arm. I’m trained in phlebotomy, so I know that she just has angled the needle down and it’s dripping, and I’m not freaked out by it. But this is her response.) Phlebotomist: “Oh, whoopsie!” *yells* “CLEAN UP ON AISLE FOUR!” (She then wiped it up, and continued to bumble around like nothing happened, while the rest of the bus stared at us.) |
Will Need Therapy About Your Gene Therapy
Family & Kids, Medical Office, Ohio, USA | Healthy | January 5, 2018 (For a few years now, several doctors have suspected that I have some form of an autoimmune disease, as I’ve had problems with excessive bleeding and joint pains most of my life. I’ve just been to a specialist, who, based on the limited information I had about my family’s medical history, concluded that the odds of me having a genetic disease are limited. I’m at my GP’s office, with a list from my mother. My mother and I have the same GP, and I’ve been seeing her my whole life.) GP: “I know you mother has [Condition #1 ], and you’re saying her sister has it as well?” Me: “Yes, and another one of her sisters has [Condition #2 ]. Then I have a cousin with [more severe Condition #1 ], and another cousin with [more severe Condition #2 ]. My grandmother had [Condition #3 ], which her mother died of.” GP: “Luckily, no one dies from [Condition #3 ] today. Is your grandmother still alive?” Me: “No, but she died of old age and stubbornness.” GP: *chuckling* “Right. And this is all on your mother’s side?” Me: “Yes.” GP: *reading through the list again* “Well, I’ll send the information to [Specialist] and we’ll see if that’ll change her diagnosis.” *somewhat jokingly* “Let’s hope you get most of your genes from your father’s side.” Me: “Really? Because Dad has epilepsy, his sister had breast cancer, they both have diabetes, and Grandpa thinks he’s back in the 1950s.” |
Too Busy For An Active Lifestyle
Call Center, Insurance, Lazy/Unhelpful, USA | Healthy | January 5, 2018 (I work at a call center for medical insurance.) Me: “Do you have income from work?” Customer: “No.” Me: “In the next 12 months do you expect any income changes?” Customer: “No.” Me: “Did you leave a job in the last 30 days?” Customer: “No.” Me: “How do you support your household?” Customer: “Family supports me.” Me: “Do you go to school?” Customer: “No, I don’t have time for that.” (Talk about motivation.) |
This Joke Is Out For Blood
Hospital, Italy | Healthy | January 4, 2018 (I’m receiving a dose of chemo treatment, which in this hospital means sitting at desks in a room with several other patients. Probably as a result of their job risk assessment, the nurses are all wearing funny-looking, disposable filter masks, which is a novelty and a noticeable one.) Patient: “Nurse, why are you wearing those masks today?” Nurse: “It’s a safety measure, so we don’t accidentally breathe the chemotherapy drugs.” Patient: “Then why aren’t we given masks as well?” Nurse: “Because they wouldn’t do much of a difference, since you’re getting the drugs straight into your bloodstream anyway?” (Despite the usually sombre atmosphere in the room, there was some chuckling.) |
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