HEALTH CARE STORIES
 

Their Attitude Stinks

Pharmacy | Right | November 14, 2014


(An order comes to my pharmacy for a well-known antibiotic. This antibiotic is known to smell exactly like rotten eggs, so most of us just hold our breath while we count it and try not to think about it too much. We dispense it to a woman who is picking it up for her teenage son. Everything is normal and she leaves with the prescription, but about 10 minutes later she comes stomping back into the pharmacy, pretty much shoves the person that I am currently helping out of the way, and throws the bottle of medication on the counter.)

Customer: “I want to speak to your manager right now! You guys gave me rotten medication!”

Me: “Really? Let me look at the expiration date on your bottle. Normally we don’t keep anything that has one less than a year away.”

(I look at the bottle and see that the pharmacist wrote a date of over a year away, and I go over to our stock bottle and check and the numbers correspond with each other.)

Me: “Hmm. Well, ma’am, it doesn’t look like this medication is expired but I will have the phar—”

Customer: “You are just lying! I mean, come on and open that bottle! It smells totally rotten! I can’t believe that you would ever give someone bad medication! My son is very very ill!”

Me: “Oh, that’s just because the active chemical that is in this medication has a bad smell. Trust me, I wish there was something that we could do about it back here, too. Most of us hold our breath while we count it.”

Customer: “Stop ****** lying to me. You just don’t want to admit you did something wrong! I will have your job for this, b****!

(At this point the pharmacist who has been listening the whole time walks over.)

Pharmacist: “Ma’am, while I don’t like the fact that you are calling my staff names like that I will let you know two things. One is, certain chemicals have a bad smell. It’s just a fact of life. So, while I know that smell is unpleasant, it’s just one of those side effects that come with being able to take medications that will help your sick son. I assure you it’s supposed to smell that bad. If it didn’t, it wouldn’t work right. Two, since you don’t seem to want to listen to my employees and call them awful names, this will be the last time that you or any members of your family can shop or fill any type of medication here. Maybe in the future you can learn how to treat people the way you want to be treated.”

(The woman proceeded to turn bright red with embarrassment and tried to apologize, but my boss wouldn’t hear it. That was almost two years ago and he still will not allow her or her family to fill their prescriptions at his pharmacy.)

Allergic Overreaction

Pharmacy | Right | October 27, 2014


(I work at a large chemist’s shop in North Yorkshire. I am about halfway through my shift when a woman comes running into the shop and up to the register. She is scratching herself really fast and making weird faces.)

Me: “Good morning, ma’am. How can I help you?”

Customer: “ALLERGIC REACTION!”

Me: “I’m sorry…?”

Customer: “ALLERGIC REACTION!”

Me: “Okay… what about it?”

Customer: “ARE YOU STUPID OR WHAT? I NEED MEDICINE! ALLERGIC REACTION!”

(I was quite alarmed by this point and other customers in the shop were starting to stare.)

Me: “Right, what caused your reaction? Is it animal related, or—”

Customer: *scratching like mad* “I DON’T KNOW! ALLERGIC REACTION!”

Me: “Yes, but to give you the correct medication we need to know what caused your reaction. What—”

Customer: “I DON’T F****** KNOW WHAT CAUSED IT! ALLERGIC REACTION! GIVE ME SOMETHING TO MAKE IT STOP ITCHING!”

Me: “But, ma’am…”

(The customer was now running around the store pulling items from the shelves before throwing them to the ground.)

Customer: “WHERE IS THE F****** ALLERGIC REACTION MEDICINE? I NEED IT NOW!”

(The manager, hearing the commotion, runs out from the back room.)

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “I NEED MEDICATION FOR AN ALLERGIC REACTION AND THIS F****** S*** WON’T GIVE ME IT!”

Manager: “What caused your reaction, ma’am?”

Customer: “I. DON’T. F******. KNOW!”

Manager: “In that case we can’t help you. Have a nice day, ma’am.”

Customer: “F*** YOU! WHEN I DIE I’M GONNA COME GET YOU FIRED!”

(The customer runs out of the store screaming ‘ALLERGIC REACTION!’)

No Follicular Coupon Is A Folly

Pharmacy | Right | October 21, 2014


(A man comes up to the pharmacy registers to purchase a bottle of hair growth product. These items come with coupons attached to the box so customers receive instant savings.)

Customer: “I’d like to purchase this, and I have a coupon for it.”

Me: “Excellent. I’ll ring this up for you.”

Customer: “I also have two coupons from previous boxes that I forgot to use before but I don’t have them with me. You can just take the ten dollars off my purchase now, though.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but unfortunately I can only use one coupon per purchase of this item as it says here at the bottom of the coupon.”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t get to use them before so I would like to use them now.”

Me: “So you would like me to give you a discount for coupons that you do not currently have with you today?”

Customer: “Yes. I don’t see what the problem is.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but that’s not the way it works.”

Customer: “Well what do you expect me to do with the coupons, then?”

Me: “Give them to your friends or relatives?”

Customer: “They won’t use them. They have hair!”

Hopefully His First Name Isn’t John

Pharmacy | Right | October 13, 2014


(I work in a well-known national chain pharmacy. The particular store that I work in provides medicine to at least half of our well-sized county, so we stay rather busy and have a lot of customers. This exchange happens far more often than it really should:)

Customer: “I’m here to pick up a prescription.”

Me: “All right, what’s the name?”

Customer: “Johnson.” *or some other common last name*

Me: “Okay, and the first name?”

Customer: “There’s more than one?!”

Me: “…”

A Thought For Your Pennies

Pharmacy | Right | September 24, 2014


(I’m a pharmacy tech working the drive thru. An older customer pulls up, and we go through getting her prescriptions.)

Me: “Okay, your total will be $67.29.”

Customer: “Okay.”

(I go and grab her prescriptions from our waiting bin and come back to finish the transaction.)

Customer: “Was that $68?”

Me: “$67.29.”

Customer: “$67.34?”

Me: *now trying to not laugh* “$67.29”

Customer: “Oh, 29.”

(I looked back at my pharmacist and he’s trying to not crack up while in view of the customer. I finish the transaction and close the window.)

Pharmacist: “Where on earth did she get 34 from?!”

Countering Those At The Counter

Pharmacy | Right | September 21, 2014


(I’m in line at the pharmacy. It’s been a long day, and I just want to pick up my prescription and go home. The customer in front of me has a basket full of groceries.)

Customer: “I need to pick up my medicine! And I want to pay for my groceries here. I only have six things.”

Pharmacist: “Sure, let me get those for you.”

(The customer puts way more than six grocery items on the counter. I am beyond irritated at this point since she’s making me wait. As the pharmacist scans the groceries, however, I decide not to let it get to me. The wait isn’t that much longer, and I’m next in line anyway.)

Pharmacist: “… and there you go. You’re all set. Have a nice evening!”

Customer: “You too.”

(The customer turns to go and notices me standing in line behind her.)

Customer: *to me* “Excuse me.”

Me: “Oh, it’s no problem—”

Customer: “I SAID, EXCUSE ME. THE SIGN SAYS YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO WAIT FOR THE PHARMACIST, NOT CROWD AROUND THE PEOPLE AT THE COUNTER. YOU ARE IN MY WAY!”

(She grabs her stuff and storms off in a huff, leaving both me and the pharmacist speechless.)

The High Point Of My Night

Pharmacy, Retail | Right | September 9, 2014


(I work as a cashier and am finally at the end of a long, frustrating split-shift. About 10 minutes to closing a group of guys in their early 20s come in and head straight for the confection aisle. They seem to be having a hard time deciding, and become panicked when my supervisor makes the closing announcement. They shove their candy, chips, and pop into the arms of one guy, and push him toward the cash. They leave the store, leaving their friend to pay. He places the items very slowly on the counter, blinking with confusion a number of times, swaying a little on his feet. I ring his items through.)

Me: “That’s $14.59. How will you be paying?”

Customer: “Uh… debit?”

(He slowly pulls out his wallet and fumbles for his card. He finally places it in the debit machine, and then stares at it, unmoving. The machine times-out, so I reset it. He manages, with some difficulty to make it through the rest of the transaction. When I place his bag in front of him, he looks confused.)

Customer: “Is this mine?”

Me: “Yes, it is.”

Customer: “These are the things I bought?”

Me: “Uh… yes. Are you all right?”

Customer: “Huh? Oh, yeah, don’t mind me, I’m just really fried.”

(He pulls a 2 dollar coin out of his pocket and puts it on the counter.)

Customer: “Don’t tell; my parents know the owner.”

(He left, marveling at the automatic doors as he did. He has been back to the store a number of times, in the same state, and makes my day whenever he shows up.)

Not Good For Your Blood Pressure

Pharmacy | Right | August 31, 2014


(The pharmacy that I work at has a very standard closing time of 7:00 pm. We’ve had this for years, much longer than I’ve worked there. If a customer comes in around 6:58 or so they usually purchase their items quickly and leave. This customer comes in at 6:59.)

Customer: “Whoo! Made it in the knick of time!”

Me: “You certainly did! You picking up a prescription today?”

Customer: “Yes, it’s [Name].”

(The transaction goes smoothly and he heads for the door. It’s 7:01 pm and he turns and goes to the blood pressure machine which usually takes a couple minutes to finish the measurement. My boss tells me to turn the lights off because we’re technically closed.)

Customer: “Hey! Can you turn the lights back on? I can’t see my reading!”

Me: “The display is LED; you don’t need the lights on, sir.”

Those Who Can’t Be The Easter Bunny, Teach

Pharmacy | Related | August 13, 2014


(I am checking out a woman and her young daughter while I overhear their conversation.)

Daughter: “Mom, can I be a teacher when I grow up?”

Mother: “You can be whatever you want when you grow up sweetie.”

Daughter: “Can I be the Easter Bunny?”

Mother: “No… you can’t be the Easter Bunny.”

A Spoonful Of Violence Helps The Medicine Go Down

Pharmacy | Right | July 15, 2014


(I am on quite a few prescription medicines, one of which costs $170. I am picking up four refills.)

Pharmacy Clerk: “This one is $1.17. The second is $7.79. And the third is…”

(He trails off and takes a few steps back from the counter separating us.)

Pharmacy Clerk: “Uh… do you know how much this costs?”

Me: “If it’s the [Brand Name Medicine], then it will be about $170.”

(He looks relieved and returns to the register.)

Pharmacy Clerk: “Sorry. On my first week on the job, a customer assaulted me after hearing the price of his medicine.”

You Are Eavesdropping On I

Pharmacy | Related | July 11, 2014


(I’m out with my parents, running some errands. During one stop, my dad picks up a prescription while my mom and I wait in the car, since it’ll be quick. She cracks the windows, though, since it’s warm. Two women exit the store.)

Woman #1 : “Now, this is just between you and I…”

(She continues talking unaware as Mom sighs dramatically.)

Mom: “People misuse ‘I’ and ‘me’ so often. It’s so annoying!”

Me: “So is eavesdropping…”

Looking For A Needle In A Haystack Of Stupid

Pharmacy | Working | May 25, 2014


(I’m in the pharmacy picking up my prescription for insulin.)

Pharmacy Tech: “We are currently out of the insulin pens, so we’ve substituted a bottle of insulin that you can use until we get the pens back in stock in a few days.”

Me: “That’s fine, but I don’t have any syringes at home any more so I’ll need to buy some.”

Pharmacy Tech: “You’ll need to get a doctor to send us a prescription for the syringes.”

Me: “So, you are saying you don’t have the insulin pens. So you are giving me a bottle of insulin, but you won’t give me the syringes to use them?”

Pharmacy Tech: “We can’t give you syringes without a doctor’s prescription.”

Me: “Can I please talk to the pharmacist?”

Pharmacy Tech: “She’s very busy right now, and she’s going to tell you the same thing.”

Me: “I will wait.”

(The pharmacy tech huffs, and I go sit down in the waiting area. About 10 minutes later, after I’ve seen the pharmacist give several consultations, I walk up to the consultation window.)

Pharmacist: *very pleasantly* “Hi. Do you need a consultation?”

Me: “Actually, the lady at the register said that you were substituting a bottle of insulin instead of the pens because you are out.”

Pharmacist: “Oh, you need to know how to use the syringes?”

Me: “No, I know how to do that, but I don’t have any syringes.”

Pharmacist: “Oh, no problem. We’ll give you some since we are out of the pens.”

Me: “The lady at the register is refusing to give them to me without a prescription.”

(The pharmacist looks towards the registers and glares.)

Pharmacist: “She’s been doing that all day. I don’t know why I have to keep explaining it to her. At least she goes home in half an hour.”

(The pharmacist rang me up and I was on my way with syringes. I never saw the pharmacy tech there again.)

Not As Easy As ABC, 123

Pharmacy | Right | May 5, 2014


Patient: “I’m picking up some meds. My name is [Name].”

Me: “I have three prescriptions here for you today. Is that correct?”

Patient: “I think so. Can you show them to me?”

Me: “Sure”

(I pull out three bottles from the bag and show all three to the patient.)

Patient: “Okay, where’s the third one?”

Me: “I just showed you all three. What are you talking about?”

(I hold each one up and count as I go along. I get to three and he still looks confused.)

Patient: “I thought you said I had three… I don’t see the third one!”

Me: “I just showed you three bottles! What are you talking about?! Do you know how to count?!”

Patient: “Oh… okay. I’ll take your word for it but I still don’t think there’s three here”

Not A Hire Level Of Professionalism

Pharmacy | Working | May 2, 2014


(I get a call on the first of April, one day after a job interview.)

Caller: “HEY! HEY! Guess what!”

Me: “Who is this?”

Caller: “It’s [Name] from [Company] from yesterday! You’re hired! All the other applicants were total f****** idiots! That’s why we want you!”

Me: “Uhm, thanks? That’s—”

Caller: “You know what I did? Do you want to hear it?”

Me: “What did you do?”

Caller: “I called all the other applicants and told them they’re hired! And when they got all excited I screamed ‘April Fools!’ Haha, I would have loved to see their faces. The first guy told me he’d sue me! Isn’t that funny?”

Me: “So… is this a joke? Or am I hired?”

Caller: “You’re actually hired. As I said, all the others were total f****** idiots! Welcome to [Company]!”

(I’m not sure if I’m going to take this job…)

Likes To Party Hard

Pharmacy, Retail | Right | May 1, 2014


(I am the cashier at a convenience store that also has a pharmacy on the back. It is a slow day and my pharmacy coworker asks me to watch his station for a minute. A mustached, gallon-hat wearing cowboy (boots and all) comes up to me and asks in a very deep voice:)

Cowboy: “Do you carry generic Viagra?”

Me: *stunned* “I’m sorry. If you could just wait for a minute?”

(Thankfully my coworker heard him and took over. I went back to my station and then the same customer appeared. His purchases? Generic Viagra, a tequila bottle, and a 25-pack of lollipops…)

Please Keep Customer Interaction To A Condominimum, Part 2

Pharmacy | Right | April 29, 2014


(It is a Friday late afternoon. I am mechanically ringing up sales adding “have a nice weekend” to my normal “here’s your receipt” spiel. I realized after saying this to a male customer that he is buying several high-quantity boxes of condoms. I also remember he had a work shirt on with his name sewn on it. I stepped into the pharmacy and talk to my coworkers.)

Me: “Oh, my God!”

Coworker: “What is it?”

Me: “I just told a customer to have a good weekend, before noticing he was buying nothing but condoms! He obviously has plans to do so!”

(About thirty minutes later the phone rings, and the pharmacist picks it up.)

Coworker: “[My Name], you have a phone call.”

(I answer.)

Caller: “Hi, I’m [Customer With Named Shirt]. I’m calling because I want to go out with you this weekend!”

(Um, that would be ‘NO,’ creepy condom dude!)

Seeing Eye Dog

Pharmacy | Right | March 19, 2014


(I am serving on the counter of a small pharmacy on a busy Saturday. A middle aged lady approaches my desk.)

Customer: “Hi. Can I get something for infected eyes, please?”

Me: “Of course. When did the problems with your eyes begin?”

Customer: “Oh, it’s not for me. It’s for my dog. His eyes looked really sore this morning!”

Me: *slightly alarmed* “We don’t sell medicines for pets here, unfortunately. You would have to go a vet to get something for your dog.”

Customer: “No, it’s fine. I give him human medicines all the time!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t sell you anything for your dog. I’m not allowed to do that, and what’s more, I wouldn’t want to cause him any harm.”

Customer: “But… his eyes are the same size as human eyes!”

Your Ears Must Deceive You

Pharmacy | Working | January 25, 2014


(It’s eight in the morning on a Saturday, at a very small shop that’s located by a big shopping centre. There’s literally nobody in the car park or in the shops of this place. The only people in the area are the pharmacist and the cashier.)

Me: “Could I get my ears pierced, please?”

Pharmacist: “Sorry. We’re too busy on weekends to pierce ears.”

(There’s a moment of awkward silence as I look around the empty, silent shop.)

Me: “You’re too busy?”

Pharmacist: “Yes. We only pierce ears on weekdays because weekends are too busy.”

(I’m lost for words for a moment, as I stand alone in the customer area where not even all the aisles have their lighting on.)

Me: “Could you make an exception?”

Pharmacist: “What if ten people with prescriptions were to suddenly arrive? Then what would we do? There’s only two of us behind the counter.”

(I end up leaving pretty soon after without getting anything, as the pharmacist continued to insist that ten people with prescriptions would materialise from the empty car-park.)

A Gross Grocery Error

Great Stuff, Ignoring & Inattentive, New Jersey, Pharmacy, USA | Right | January 2, 2014


(The customer in front of me is dropping off a prescription. She’s on her phone.)

Customer: “…and then can you pick up [Child] from school, or do you want me— Hang on, I’m at the front of the line.” *to pharmacist* “Here’s my prescription, ID, insurance data. Need anything else?”

Pharmacist: “Just give me a minute to read through this.”

Customer: *on phone* “So, anyway, about the groceries. Why is taking—”

Pharmacist: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Oh, hang on.” *to pharmacist* “Sorry, I know it’s rude to talk on the phone, but—”

Pharmacist: “No, no. Your prescription. It says ‘cheese, yogurt, chunky peanut butter.'”

(There is a pause.)

Customer: *on phone* “I think I know why it’s taking you so long at the grocery store.”

Doesn’t Have A Glue

Pharmacy | Right | December 29, 2013


(We have bottles of hand sanitizer at the pick-up and drop off counters for customers to use if they please.)

Me: “Hi. Can I help you?”

Customer: “WHAT DID I JUST PUT ON MY HANDS?”

Me: “Er, what?”

Customer: *waving hands frantically* “What’s in that bottle? It’s not glue is it? My hands aren’t going to stick to my cart when I touch it?”

Me: “No, ma’am. It’s just hand sanitizer.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Thanks! Have a good day!”

(The customer leaves without getting anything from the dispensary.)

Me: *to coworker* “Why the h*** would we have glue in squirt bottles?”

Can’t Pin Him Down To A Number, Part 2

Pharmacy | Right | December 10, 2013


(It’s Friday afternoon, and I am a customer waiting for my prescriptions in the waiting area of my pharmacy. The customer ahead of me, a gruff older man, is getting upset with the cashier over a problem with the card reader.)

Customer: “I’m telling you, it’s not my card. It’s your machine!”

Cashier: “Sir, you have to enter your PIN correctly—”

Customer: “I KNOW how to enter my PIN! Your machines are wrong! This doesn’t happen to me anywhere else.”

Cashier: “I don’t know what to tell you, sir. My machine has been functioning properly all day. Your transaction failed after you entered your PIN. Would you like to try it again?”

Customer: “If I try it again, you better MAKE it work right! [Financial Institution] is going to freeze my card if I keep trying. I’m going away for the weekend so I NEED my card to work!”

Cashier: “Well, I can’t put in your PIN for you, sir. So I can’t guarantee you it will work.”

Customer: “This has happened the last two times I’ve been in here! I’ve been a customer here for 30 years and you’re saying it’s MY fault? Your machines are wrong! And now my card is going to be frozen until Monday!”

Cashier: “I don’t know what else to tell you, sir. Let me get my manager.”

(The cashier pages the manager, who arrives promptly.)

Manager: “I understand there’s some trouble with your card, sir?”

Customer: “The machine is messing up. It’s NOT my PIN. My card is going to be frozen and I’m going away this weekend!”

Manager: “I understand, sir. If you have time to wait, I’ll call [Financial Institution, which is also responsible for card reader] and try to find out what’s going on.”

(My manager dials the phone and explains the situation to tech support.)

Manager: *on phone* “Uh-huh. I see.”

Customer: “Ask them if my card is frozen!”

Manager: *on phone* “So there’s no problem with our system? Alright. Thank you.”

Customer: “Oh, wait. My PIN on this card is five digits. I only entered four

Intelligence Is Not The Flavor Of The Month

Pharmacy | Working | December 3, 2013


(In the UK, you get your prescriptions for free if you’re age 16, 17, or 18, and in full-time education, which I am. Your age in years and months is written on your collection form. Mine reads 16 years and 9 months.)

Me: “Hello. I need to pick up a prescription. Could you show me what I need to sign?”

Pharmacist: *glances at the form* “Are you working?”

Me: “No.”

Pharmacist: “Are you in full-time education?”

Me: “Yes.”

Pharmacist: “Are any of these applicable?”

(The pharmacist points to war veterans benefits and low income benefits, as well as two others that definitely don’t apply.)

Me: “Uh. No.”

Pharmacist: “Well, I’m afraid you’re going to have to pay for this medicine. It’ll be £7.88.”

Me: “What? It’s always been free in the past! I haven’t got any money on me.”

Pharmacist: “It’s £7.88, I’m afraid. If you want, I can hold it for you and you can pick it up later when you’ve got some money. We close at 5:45.”

Me: “Alright, I guess I could do that. I’ve never had to pay before. Are you sure that’s right?”

Pharmacist: “Have you? You should’ve been charged. Anyway, you have to pay now.”

(I leave, knowing I won’t be able to return home and back in time. I call my dad and ask him to collect it for me. He does so and gets it to me when he gets home from work.)

Dad: “Want to know why they wouldn’t give it to you?”

Me: “Why?”

Dad: “The other pharmacist was serving me. She read over your prescription and asked the woman who’d served you why she’d charged you, as your prescription form clearly said you’re 16. She looked mortified. Turns out, she’d misread the ‘9’ in your 9 months as ’19’!”

(Good to know these are the people handling our medicine!)

A Bitter Pill To Swallow

Pharmacy | Working | November 23, 2013


Me: “Hi, I’m here to pick up my prescription.”

Pharmacist: “What’s the name?”

Me: “[Name], that’s [N-A-M-E].”

Pharmacist: “[N-A-M-E]?”

Me: “Yes.”

Pharmacist: “We don’t have a prescription under that name.”

Me: “Could you look again? It should have been sent over from [School] this morning.”

Pharmacist: *without checking* “We don’t have it.”

Me: “Could you check your computers to see if you got the order?”

Pharmacist: *checks computer* “Oh! Yeah, we got the order. [Medicine] has been backordered for weeks, so no one has it.”

Me: “I see. So, you just didn’t fill the order?”

Pharmacist: “Yeah. We couldn’t.”

Me: “And you didn’t call the number in my file or my doctor to let them know the medication wasn’t available?”

Pharmacist: “We can’t just call EVERY person who orders this! That would take forever!”

Me: “So it’s better that EVERY person who needed that medication should come all the way down here just to hear that their prescription can’t be filled?”

Pharmacist: “Yeah.”

Me: *furious*

Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 5

Pharmacy | Right | November 19, 2013


(I’m a pharmacist, and one day at work, a young woman comes up to the counter to pick up a script. I notice she is wearing one of those insertable birth control rings around her wrist.)

Me: “Ma’am, you know that’s not how those work, right?”

Customer: “Huh?”

Me: “Your birth control ring. Those are meant to be worn… you know… internally.”

Customer: “Oh, shoot, really? I… I didn’t know that. Excuse me.”

(She walks away and returns with a pregnancy test, clearly worried and very embarrassed.)

Customer: “I guess I’ll be needing this, too.”

The Pharmacist Calls The Shots

Pharmacy | Working | November 7, 2013


(I have numerous health problems, and have to take 10 different prescription medications. Because of the risk of drug interactions, I don’t take as much as a vitamin without running it past a pharmacist. I’m in the pharmacy to buy an over-the-counter drug allergy tablet.)

Me: “Before I get that, I’d like to speak to the pharmacist please.”

Assistant: “The pharmacist is very busy. What’s the problem?”

Me: “I take several prescription drugs. I’d like to make sure this tablet’s not going to cause a bad interaction.”

Assistant: *rolling eyes* “I shouldn’t think it would.”

Me: “I would like to speak to the pharmacist, please.”

Assistant: “The pharmacist is very busy. I’m sure I can answer your questions.”

Me: “I’m concerned about drug interactions and I WOULD LIKE TO SPEAK TO THE PHARMACIST, PLEASE.”

Assistant: “Well, it’s just Lipitor or something, isn’t it? That’s no problem.”

(Instead of answering, I place on the counter the bag I carry my meds in; I bring it to new pharmacies so there’s no possibility of mistaken dosages or anything forgotten. I open the bag and begin to take out my various medications, including the injectible, and the ones plastered with warning labels. The assistant’s eyes get bigger with each new box.)

Assistant: “…I’ll just go get the pharmacist.”

Me: “You do that.”

Drive Flu

Pharmacy | Right | October 30, 2013


(I work at a pharmacy that has a drive-thru. We do flu shots and they are in high demand. We have never administered a flu shot at the drive-thru. A customer drives up to the window in her mini-van.)

Me “Good afternoon! What can I help you with today?”

Customer: “I would like to get the flu shot. Can you hurry because I have things to do.”

Me: “I’m very sorry, but you will have to come inside for us to administer the shot. It won’t take more than five minutes.”

Customer: “No! I don’t want to get out of my car. I’m in a hurry; I’m the customer and you have to do what I say, so you have to do it from here!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but it’s against the rules to do it at the drive-thru. I don’t think it would be very sanitary and I wouldn’t even be able to reach you from this window. You will need to come in. I promise it won’t take long.”

(The customer puts her car into gear, so I figure she is coming inside so I close the window and walk away. As I walk away I hear a blaring car horn so I go back to the window.)

Customer: “You have no right to deny me the shot! Are you trying to kill me? What if I get the flu and die? It would be your fault and you will go to jail for MURDER!”

Me: “I’m not denying you the shot, ma’am. Like I said you will have to come inside; it’s the rules. Please move so I can help the other customers.”

Customer: “NO, B****! I WANT THE SHOT RIGHT NOW AND I’M NOT COMING INSIDE! I’M NOT MOVING MY CAR UNTIL YOU HELP ME! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU ARE WASTING MY TIME! I HAVE THINGS TO DO! I AM THE CUSTOMER AND YOU HAVE TO HELP ME! GIVE IT TO ME NOW YOU LAZY B****!”

Me: “No, you need to come inside. We can not administer a shot at a drive-thru window. We have never done it that way. If you come inside I will be able to help you and it will only take minutes. Please move your car so I can help other customers.”

Customer: “NO! I’M NOT MOVING AND YOU BETTER NOT HELP ANYONE ELSE! I WAS HERE FIRST AND I DEMAND YOU GIVE ME THE SHOT FROM HERE! IF YOU DON’T GIVE ME THE SHOT I’M GOING TO HAVE YOU FIRED AND I WILL MAKE SURE YOU NEVER GET ANOTHER JOB IN THIS CITY!”

Me: “For the last time, NO! If you don’t move your car, I’m going to call the police.”

(I start helping the other customers. The customer continues to yell, flips me off and hits the gas. That’s when I hear a loud crash. I look to see that she had put her car in reverse by accident and slammed into the car behind her!)

No ID, No Idea, Part 13

Pharmacy | Right | October 3, 2013


(I have recently been hired at a pharmacy a few towns over from mine. It’s my second day as cashier, when a teen girl comes to my register. I’m 22 and wearing a name tag.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like a pack of [Brand] cigarettes, please.”

Me: “No problem. I just need to see your ID.”

Customer: “Oh, well it’s at my house and I don’t have time to run back and get it. Can’t you let me go this time?”

Me: “Sorry, it’s not worth my job.”

Customer: “But you know me!”

Me: “I can’t say that I do.”

Customer: “Dude, [My Name], we go to high school together.”

Me: “Oh, really? What high school do you go to?”

Customer: “[Local High School]. We totally have English together.”

Me: “Yeah, no. First of all I went to [Rival High School]. Second, I was in AP English, the scores of which I used to go to [University], which I just graduated from. So, no, I don’t know you. Show me ID or move along.”

Customer: “You suck.”

(She left and asked the next few visibly older customers to buy her cigarettes. No one bought them, and one even threatened to call the cops if she didn’t leave!)

Let’s Hope This Negative Becomes A Positive

Pharmacy | Working | October 3, 2013


(My sister and her husband are having trouble conceiving. It’s been four long and emotional years for all of us. She forgot to buy pregnancy tests last time she was out, so I offer to get some on my way over to her house. I hand over my items to the cashier.)

Cashier: *picking up pregnancy test with a gleeful smile* “Oooh! Is this a good thing or a bad thing?”

Me: “…what?”

Cashier: “Are you hoping you are or hoping you aren’t?”

Me: “That is a pretty personal question.”

Cashier: “Yeah, but I’m stuck here all day with nothing to do. So I’m thinking you cheated on your boyfriend and hope you aren’t carrying some random guy’s kid!” *huge grin* “Am I right?”

Me: “They’re not for me, but that’s really none of your business.”

Cashier: *offended and hostile* “Y’know, it’s people like YOU who make the world a terrible place! Try being friendly instead of such a b****!”

Me: “Just finish ringing me up, please.”

Cashier: “I HOPE YOUR B****** KID HAS A.D.D.!”

Doing A Real Job On Doing A Real Job

Pharmacy | Working | October 3, 2013


(I have just gotten off of a split shift, during my second seven-day work week. My children have joined me for the last part of my second shift to help me out and we are heading home. It’s just after 8:30 pm, and I’ve been at it since 6 am. We go to the pharmacy next to my store to buy some ibuprofen, and I go up to the pharmacy desk to pay since the main cash has a huge lineup of people buying toilet paper and snack foods. After waiting about two minutes the pharmacy technician, who’s been looking at me and sighing deeply, finally comes to serve me.)

Employee: “Are you here to pick up a prescription?”

Me: “No, I’d just like to pay for these.”

Employee: *as she’s scanning my pills* “Okay, well this cash is only for prescription medication purchases. You should really have gone to the main cash.”

(I’ve often seen customers paying for everything from band aids to makeup at this cash without buying prescriptions, as long as they had some sort of medication with them from the pharmacy area where I picked up my pills.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry about that. I just assumed that you pay for medicine at the pharmacy counter. I’ll keep that in mind for next time.”

Employee: “Yeah, well we’re really busy you know, and this takes me away from doing all my work. Now it’s going to take me even longer to finish up and get out of here tonight.”

Me: “Again, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize. I work in retail myself, I know how frustrating it is when you’re busy and you have to stop to help a customer or coworker. It can be—”

Employee: “And you know, just because it doesn’t look like we’re doing anything, it doesn’t mean we’re not busy. We have a lot to do here and this is really annoying! You know, people are just leaving us with their prescriptions all the time.”

Me: “Well, that is your job but still I can understand—”

Employee: “When customers like you waste our time like this it’s really annoying. It’s going to take us even longer to finish up now.”

(The pharmacist finally hands me my change. My children are clinging to me nervously and the customers around me are all shuffling around awkwardly, trying not to look our way. I’ve had enough.)

Me: “Look, I’ve literally been working since 6am. I worked seven days in the last week, I have one day off this week, and I’ll be working from home, and then I work another seven days. I am exhausted, and I regularly have to stop what I’m doing to help my customers, coworkers and employees even when they really could have managed without me. I regularly have to work late or start early due to these interruptions, and my job is 90% physical work on the floor doing heavy lifting and going up and down ladders in a dusty stockroom. You are preaching to the choir here lady. And I’ll tell you, I have never spoken to a customer the way you just spoke to me, or made them feel guilty about coming in to shop and making me do my JOB! Thank you and good night

Cold And Uncaring

Pharmacy | Working | September 12, 2013


(Our pharmacy has recently switched to a new manufacturer of Lorazepam, which requires refrigeration. I overhear a conversation between a patient’s caregiver, and the pharmacist.)

Caregiver: “So I was told this stuff has to be kept cold? Is it still good if it wasn’t?”

Pharmacist: “No, you’re going to have to get it replaced. If it’s been left in room temperature for more than a few hours, I cannot recommend you giving it to your patient.”

Caregiver: “Well nobody told me it had to be kept cold! I want a free replacement.”

Pharmacist: “We put ‘REFRIGERATE’ on every label; don’t you read your patient’s labels?”

Caregiver: “I don’t have time to read all the labels.”

Pharmacist: “Then how do you know you’re giving the drugs properly to the patient?”

Caregiver: “…”

Pharmacist: “That’ll be $30 for a new bottle.”

Drugs Can Make You See Things

Pharmacy | Right | September 2, 2013


(I am at the pharmacy picking up my prescription. I am standing in line behind a very elderly lady.)

Pharmacist: “Hello, ma’am. What can I do for you?”

Elderly Lady: “I am picking up my prescription. It’s under Mrs. [last name].”

(I overhear the elderly lady, and realize that she has the same last name as I do. This is not a totally uncommon name, but it doesn’t happen too often.)

Pharmacist: “Okay! Here we go I think it’s… huh…”

(The pharmacist looks confused as she picks up some pills.)

Pharmacist: “Can you tell me your first name please? I don’t think I grabbed the right one.”

Elderly Lady: “Sure, it’s [first name].”

(By a crazy coincidence, this is my first name too! At this point the pharmacist widens her eyes in shock as she stares at the pill box in her hand. She starts to stammer.)

Pharmacist: “But… um… I don’t… uhh… how?”

Me: “Um, I think those might be mine. I have the same first name and last name. Those are my birth control pills.”

Pharmacist: “Oh thank GOD! I thought I was in the twilight zone!”

Elderly Lady: “Oh dear! No wonder! No I don’t want THOSE!”

Stupidity Is Its Own Reward, Part 2

Pharmacy | Right | August 23, 2013


(I’m about to ring a customer up. I’m supposed to ask if they have our rewards card, and if they say no, I offer them to sign up for it, as it’s free of charge and relatively quick to do.)

Me: “Good evening, ma’am. Do you have a rewards card?”

Customer: “No. What’s the benefit of it?”

Me: “The rewards card allows you to get the sale prices of whatever’s on sale for the week, and with certain sale items and over the counter medications. You build up rewards points, which you can use to save money later on.”

Customer: “Okay. Do I need anything for it?”

Me: “All we need is some basic info, just for identification purposes. Would you like to sign up? It’s free of charge.”

Customer: *says nothing, fumbles around her purse*

Me: “Ma’am? Would you like to sign up for the card?”

(The customer takes out her credit card and swipes it, paying for the purchase.)

Me: “Okay.”

(I hand her the receipt and her bags.)

Me: “Have a good night.”

Customer: “So, do I get the rewards now?”

Me: *screaming internally*

Misconceiving The Point

Pharmacy | Working | August 21, 2013


(I am a 20-year-old female, but I guess I look younger. This occurs the first time I am buying condoms. I feel a little awkward, since it is my only item, and I’ve never bought them before.)

Cashier: *holding up the box of condoms* “Will this be all?”

Me: “Yep.”

Cashier: “I don’t think I can sell these to you.”

Me: “W-why?”

Cashier: “I think you’re too young to be having sex.”

Me: “That’s absurd! I’m 20 years old!”

Cashier: “Yeah, okay. Prove it! Let me see your driver’s license.”

(I start to go through my purse, when an old lady in line behind me speaks up towards the cashier.)

Old Lady: “Hey, you pimply a**-hole! Just let the girl buy her stuff. She’s trying to buy contraception to have safe sex instead of risking an STD or a pregnancy. Even if she was younger than 20, and I believe she is telling the truth, you should still sell them to her to prevent another teenage pregnancy! On top of it, we are on a college campus! How many young teenagers do you see around here? Most of the people who shop here are 17 or older! Just give her the d*** condoms!”

(The cashier wordlessly scans my items and bags them, and takes my cash.)

Me: “Have a nice day, jack-a**! Oh, and I’m paying for her stuff, too

Make His Life A Living Bell

Pharmacy | Romantic | August 13, 2013


(I am a cashier at a small town pharmacy. An older customer walks in making a jingling sound, and I see that he has bells tied to his shoelaces. It is August, and he appears anything but jolly, so I am perplexed by the bells.)

Me: “Sir, if you don’t mind my asking: why the bells?”

Customer: “My wife is going deaf, and she gets mad when I ‘sneak up on her.’ This was her solution.”

In Need Of Valium

Pharmacy | Related | August 7, 2013


(I am eight years old. My mom and I are shopping, and we pass the drug store.)

Mom: “I need to go there.”

Me: “Mommy, no, I’m tired! I wanna go home; let’s go home!”

Mom: “No. It’ll be quick.”

(Mom pulls me into the drug store.)

Me: “Why do we have to go here? It’s a bad place!”

Mom: “Oh, really? Why do you say that.”

Me: “Yeah, it’s called a drug store, and I heard that drugs are bad! On TV!”

Mom: “Uh huh.”

Me: *to other customers* “DRUGGIES! You’re bad people! Drugs are BAD—”

(My mom hustles me out of there and never takes me back!)

You Really Don’t Want That On An Open Wound

Pharmacy | Right | July 17, 2013


(I’m currently doing inventory at the local pharmacy where I work. An older customer comes up to me with her friend, in a panic.)

Customer: “Can you help me?! I need some ‘Polysperm’!”

(I assume she means ‘Polysporin’, the topical ointment that treats infections.)

Me: “Did you mean ‘Polysporin’?”

Customer: “Oh, no! I DEFINITELY need some ‘Polysperm’!”

Me: “I’m sorry; I haven’t heard of that product. May I ask what you are using it for?”

Customer: “Oh, I scraped my elbow, and want to put that ‘Polysperm’ on it!”

Me: “Okay, let me show you where it’s stocked.”

(I point to the display of ‘Polysporin’.)

Customer: *to her friend* “Young kids these days! They don’t know anything!”

An Impatient Patient

Pharmacy | Right | July 11, 2013


(It is a Sunday, so not many pharmacies are open. I’ve come in with my friend, who is rather unwell. The staff know my husband and I quite well, as we’re in there for our regular medication. Additionally, I have multiple piercings, a rather large tattoo on my nape of my neck, and teal green hair.)

Pharmacist: “Won’t be long; please take a seat.”

(We do, and I give the tech I know well a smile and a nod in greeting. Another customer enters.)

Customer: “How long will it be for my medication?”

Pharmacist: “About 20 minutes. We have a few people in front of you.”

Customer: “Fine. I wouldn’t come here if you weren’t the only pharmacy open on a bloody Sunday; you’re always slow!”

(The pharmacist brushes it off and goes to make up medications.)

Customer: “I’m only having to wait this long because of stupid drug freaks.”

(My friend turns to say something, but I put my hand on her arm and shake my head.)

Customer: “Yeah, I mean you, green freak! What, come in for your methadone early, and they won’t give it to you?”

(I’ve deliberately turned my back on him at this point.)

Customer: “F****** druggies! We pay for you to get f****** high.”

Pharmacy Tech: “Sir, can you watch your language please?”

Customer: “No I f****** won’t! That stupid b**** is the reason I have to wait so f****** long! She’s strung out, look at the f****** circles under her eyes; they’re all bloodshot!”

Pharmacy Tech: “I’ll have you know that young lady there is a full-time carer for her husband, who is disabled. And all this whilst being disabled herself. She looks like she hasn’t slept in a week because she probably hasn’t; between caring for him, volunteering with [national advice organization], and helping out her friend here who is rather unwell. And I don’t personally care if my taxes are being used to help her out; I wish there were more people like her out there!”

Customer: “I… I… I demand to see a pharmacist!”

Pharmacist: “Sir, I am not going to reprimand my tech for handling that much better than I would have. Do not insult my customers. Here is your prescription back; please fill it somewhere else.”

(The customer stomps out.)

Me: “I’m really sorry I caused that.”

Pharmacist: “Eh, don’t worry; he’s always an a** when he comes in here. Besides, he has an exemption certificate, which means our taxes are paying for his meds too

A Leftist Agenda

Pharmacy | Right | June 29, 2013


(I am filling out a form to refill my medication. A fellow customer, here for a flu shot, sits down next to me. Note that I’m left-handed.)

Customer: “Woah! How are you doing that with your left hand?”

Me: “I’m left-handed.”

Customer: “Don’t you people like, flip around letters?”

Me: “No, can’t say I do. I think you’re thinking of dyslexia, which some left-handed people have.”

Customer: “Huh…”

(The customer notices that I’m writing with a gel pen.)

Customer: “Wait… you people can’t use gel pens! How do you write with that?”

Me: “Carefully.”

Customer: “What would happen if you used your right hand? Would it, like, work?”

Me: “Well, for most of us, no. My left hand is like your right hand, and my right hand is like your left hand. You could probably use your left hand if you had to, but it’s not ideal. The same goes for me with my right hand.”

Customer: “That’s so weird! I’ve never seen anything like this!”

Diabetes Meets Rabies

Pharmacy | Right | June 27, 2013


(A customer is picking up some diabetic test-strips, and I am ringing him up.)

Me: “How are you doing today, sir?”

Customer: “I’m alright; how about yourself?”

Me: “I’m doing great, thanks. Did you have any questions for the pharmacist?”

(The customer gestures at the test strips, jokingly.)

Customer: “Yeah, do I really have to poke myself for these to work?”

Me: “Yep, I’m afraid so.”

Customer: “Can’t I just poke you instead?”

Me: *laughing* “Sorry, I’m afraid it doesn’t work that way, sir.”

(The customer gestures at my multiple facial piercings.)

Customer: “You look like the type that would enjoy that, though.”

Me: “Your doctor might have a problem with that, though.”

(When a customer picks up a prescription, they’re required by law to sign, stating that they’ve received it. Our pharmacy does this through an electronic prompt. The customer looks at it.)

Customer: “What’s this?”

Me: “It’s just a way to say that you’ve gotten your prescription. That way there’s no confusion later. It’s as much for your protection as ours really.”

Customer: “Well what happens if I don’t sign it?”

Me: “Then unfortunately, we’re not allowed to give you your prescriptions.”

Customer: “WELL I GUESS I’M NOT GETTING ANYTHING TODAY!”

(The customer THROWS the electronic pen across the counter, hitting me in the face. He turns, and practically skips away. The pharmacist and I aren’t sure if he is joking, but by the end of the day he still hasn’t come back!)

The Opposite Of Disappearing Ink

Pharmacy | Right | June 21, 2013


Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but it looks like this prescription is expired.”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “The law says we can’t take prescriptions this old.”

Customer: “But you said it’s expired. Where does it say that?”

Me: “It doesn’t, but see the date? That’s several months old. We couldn’t fill it now if we tried.”

Customer: “You’re telling me if I’d brought this in exactly as it is just a few months ago, you’d have been able to take it?”

Me: “Theoretically, yes.”

Customer: “So why won’t you take it now? Nothing’s changed!”

Me: “Except today’s date, sir. The prescription expired a few weeks after it was written. You can even see the disclaimer written at the bottom.”

Customer: “So why doesn’t it notify me when it expires? It ought to say ‘expired’ on it!”

Me: “Um… the paper isn’t going to magically print the word ‘expired’ if you wait too long to bring it in.”

Customer: “Well, it should!”