Would Have Been Ice To Know

Hospital, Idaho, USA | Healthy | December 16, 2017


(I’ve just had major surgery on my leg and have been taken to my room. I begin to feel chilled, so I press the call button. The nurse who responds covered me with an additional blanket, but after a short time I am so cold I was shivering, so another blanket is added. Within about an hour two more blankets are added but I am colder than ever. Then the charge nurse comes in on her rounds.)

Me: *violently shivering* “C-c-cold!”

Nurse: *having just taken my vitals* “You’re practically hypothermic. Let me check your leg and then I’ll see what else we can do to warm you up.” *checks my leg* “Oh. How long has your leg been packed in ice?!”

Me: “Ice?”

(Neither of us knew, so it must have been done before I awoke from anesthesia which means it had been there for at quite some time. Each blanket that was added sealed in the cold that much more, so of course I was freezing! The ice was quickly removed and with five or six blankets covering me I warmed up pretty fast.)

They Need To Carb-Load Their Medical Degree

Food & Drink, Medical Office, Pennsylvania, USA | Healthy | December 15, 2017


(I’ve been a diabetic for over 42 years, so I’m a bit “old school” when it comes to caring for my diabetes. Still, I must be doing something right, as my control has been fairly tight up until recently. Because of new issues, I go to see an endocrinologist and am discussing my diet with her. And as dismayed as I am to say it, I’m about 60 lbs overweight.)

Doctor: “How many carbs do you eat per meal?”

Me: “Oh, three, sometimes four. If I’m feeling particularly crazy, I’ll have up to five, but that’s my limit.”

Doctor: *looking at me in horror* “How many?!”

Me: “Three or four.”

Doctor: “Grams?”

Me: *holding my arms wide* “Do I look like a mouse? I’m talking about the diabetic exchange, doc. Fifteen grams is one carb, and I eat three or four carbs per meal, with two carbs being a snack.”

Doctor: “Oh, God! I thought you were eating only three or four grams per meal.”

Me: “Yes… and I have a blood glucose of zero.”

Diagnoses That Leave You Breathless

Canada, Medical Office, Ontario, Toronto | Healthy | December 15, 2017


(I was just recently diagnosed with pretty severe asthma. This winter, I start feeling odd in my chest whenever I breathe, and it’s causing me great anxiety, so I go to my GP.)

Me: “Whenever I breathe my chest feels odd, and it’s difficult to get deep breaths.”

Doctor: “So, don’t breathe; problem solved.”

Me: *awkward laugh* “Yeah, I guess so, but I was hoping for a more permanent solution.”

Doctor: “Take your inhaler.”

Me: “Yes, I am, but it doesn’t help.”

Doctor: “So, don’t breathe.”

(I ended up walking out and going to the ER. It wasn’t life-threatening and they just told me to take something over-the-counter medicine for a month, and to avoid going outside in extremely cold weather.)

Honesty Is Always The Best Medicine

England, Kent, Pharmacy, UK | Healthy | December 14, 2017


(I am waiting patiently for a prescription to be filled in a quiet pharmacy.)

Pharmacist: “Found it; here you go!”

Me: *takes bagged item* “Thanks.”

Pharmacist: “No problem, bye!”

Me: “Uhh… I still need to pay for this.”

Pharmacist: “Oh! I’m so sorry. Thank you for your honesty.” *rings up the transaction*

Me: “Well, not that I would anyway, but it would be kind of stupid for me to run off, seeing as you know exactly who I am and where I live.” *gestures to my address printed on the bag*

Pharmacist: “You wouldn’t believe what some people try.”

Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 14

Retail | Right | September 21, 2016


(I manage a retail store that does engravings. When customers want something done we go to a little counter, stand opposite the customer, and explain pricing. I am due to have my daughter any day when this happens. I’m tall and have always been really skinny.)

Nice Young Couple: “We want to get [Item] with [Name] on it.”

Me: “Oh, that’s such a cute name!”

(I explain the pricing. All is going well.)

Woman: “I’m six months along and feel like a whale! How far are you?”

Me: “I’m nine months. Actually, the doctor said I should have popped a week ago. When I’m done working, I walk the Mall of America like a crazy person because a manager over there swears it helps induce labor!”

Woman: “You’re nine months!? Why are you so small?!”

Me: “I don’t know. I’m just naturally skinny but the doctor predicted that she would at least be seven pounds or more.”

Woman: *suddenly incredibly angry* “I’m only six months and bigger than you! That’s not fair!”

(At that point the woman went savage and actually tried to climb over the counter to hit me. Her boyfriend grabbed her and dragged her out of the store kicking and screaming “It’s not fair!” while giving me a look that said “I’m so sorry!” Two days later I got my doctor to give me a note saying I couldn’t work anymore while pregnant because of blood pressure issues. I had my baby a week later and quit when my maternity leave was up. I have never, and will never, go back to retail. I have a lot of respect for people that stick it out. You don’t get paid enough

Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 15

home improvement | Right | August 2, 2017


(I am pregnant, quite close to my due date, and obviously showing it even through my boxy work uniform. This occurs during a (so far) normal transaction as I am returning an item for a customer approximately in his fifties.)

Customer: “So, you’re pregnant?”

Me: *smiling* “Yup!”

Customer: “How’d that happen?”

Me: “Uh… well… um…”

Customer: *cheerfully* “You’d be surprised, the different answers I get with that one.”

Me: *speechless*

Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 16

Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Medical Office, USA, Washington | Right | November 2, 2017


(I’m having a pregnancy test done at a local clinic. After I get a positive result, they go over some things with me. The nurse is asking me basic questions about daily habits and my lifestyle.)

Nurse: “All right, do you smoke?”

Me: “Nope.”

Nurse: “Drink alcohol?”

Me: “Not at all.”

Nurse: “Do you plan on starting?”

Me: “Not anytime soon.”

Nurse: “Oh, thank God! I don’t have to try to talk sense into you.”

Me: “Do people really think they can smoke and drink during pregnancy?”

Nurse: “More than you’d think.”

Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 17

Hospital, USA, Washington | Healthy | December 15, 2017


(My sister goes to the hospital due to her appendix rupturing. Because of the amount of pain she is in, I answer all the questions for her, fill out forms, etc. While she is in the ER, nurses continue to ask if she is pregnant. The first couple times are different nurses that I assume aren’t talking to each other, but it gets annoying. This all happens before they confirm it’s her appendix.)

Nurse #1 : “Is there a chance you’re pregnant?”

Me: “No, there’s no chance.”

Nurse # 2: *later, crouching in front of my sister, who’s writhing in pain* “Are you pregnant, sweetie?”

Me: “No, there’s absolutely no chance.”

Nurse #2 : *glares at me and leaves*

Nurse #3 : *later, as the painkillers are starting to kick in, causing my sister to slur her speech slightly and not be quite present* “Is there any chance you’re pregnant?”

Me: *frustrated* “There is no chance she’s pregnant!”

Nurse #3 : “Let her answer for herself!”

Me: *points at the insurance cards I’d pulled out of her wallet and laid on the counter* “If you idiots had taken half a second to look at these, you’d see she doesn’t have a uterus!”

(My sister was in an accident when she was a kid and had to have her uterus removed, and carries a card with that information on it, because the pregnancy question always comes up. The nurse left quickly and we soon had yet another nurse, who didn’t ask the pregnancy question. I apologize to the nurse at the desk later for yelling, but she waved me off and said it was a quick way to learn a lesson.)

Honesty Is Always The Best Medicine

England, Kent, Pharmacy, UK | Healthy | December 14, 2017


(I am waiting patiently for a prescription to be filled in a quiet pharmacy.)

Pharmacist: “Found it; here you go!”

Me: *takes bagged item* “Thanks.”

Pharmacist: “No problem, bye!”

Me: “Uhh… I still need to pay for this.”

Pharmacist: “Oh! I’m so sorry. Thank you for your honesty.” *rings up the transaction*

Me: “Well, not that I would anyway, but it would be kind of stupid for me to run off, seeing as you know exactly who I am and where I live.” *gestures to my address printed on the bag*

Pharmacist: “You wouldn’t believe what some people try.”

Some Real Blocks To Common Sense

Clinic, Parents/Guardians, USA | Healthy | December 14, 2017


(A mother comes into our blood-draw station with her non-verbal, autistic adult son. He is at least 350 pounds, and probably about 6′. I am 5’1” and about 120 pounds, mostly lower body and core muscle as I’m a competitive Irish dancer. The mother proceeds to explain to me his special needs and his abilities and limitations.)

Me: “Okay. Is he likely to try and hit me?” *the mother gives me an odd look* “I’ll still draw him if he is, it’s just easier for me to block if I’m expecting it.”

Mother: *incredulous* “You’re going to block him hitting you?!”

Me: *looking at her son* “Yes. If he tries to hit me, I will block the hit.”

Mother: “You can’t hurt my son.”

Me: “Don’t worry. I’m trained to block physical attacks without harming the attacker; it’s a training that many healthcare workers have.”

Mother: “I don’t want you to block it.”

Me: “Let me get this straight. Look at me. Look at him. I am a 5’1” woman. You want me to just let him hit me?”

Mother: “Yes.”

(Luckily, he didn’t try to hit me.)